


Pathways

by Sokaless



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Chirrut Imwe/Baze Malbus in fics 8 and 28, F/F, F/M, Family, Ferus Olin/Roan Lands in fic 19, Force Ghosts, Friendship, Gen, Kanan/Hera in fic 17, M/M, Missing Scenes, Rey Skywalker Theory, Slice of Life, Star Wars Fictober, too many mortis references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 17:04:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 47,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12237069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokaless/pseuds/Sokaless
Summary: A collection of one shots written for Star Wars Fictober.Day 1: First: The first time Ahsoka uses the Force is when she's not quite 3 years old.Day 2- Island: Rey dreams of an island.Day 3- Emotion: Anakin, Ahsoka and the Jedi Code.Day 4- Flight: A cover leads Ahsoka deep into the Atollon wilderness.Day 5- Game: There's a new Admiral aboard the Resolute who has some questions about Anakin's teaching methods.Day 6- Friend: Chewbacca has been around a long time. Han Solo was not his first human companion.Day 7- Absent: Ahsoka notices Anakin's absences from the Temple when they're on Coruscant.(Summaries for each fic can be found at the beginning of every chapter)





	1. First

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a bit different from the rest of my stuff, but I thought I'd give a writing challenge a try! The list of prompts I'm using can be found [here](http://skywalkersapprentice.tumblr.com/post/165883845884/welcome-to-the-star-wars-fictober-challenge-this)

The first time Ahsoka Tano uses the Force is when she's not quite three years old.

It's a hot, quiet afternoon, the kind where there's not a breeze in sight and the air is still and heavy. Mother is reading on the porch up by the house, Father is in his shed carving a new sculpture and Ahsoka and her sister are doing what they always do on days like this- playing in the stream that runs into the woods behind their house.

Cassidra is older and therefor allowed to do more exciting things, like jumping from their rope swing into the stream below. The big old trees beside the stream provide some protection from the sun and Ahsoka watches enviously from the shade as her older sister falls from the rope into the water, shrieking with laughter.

For the fifth time.

Cassidra _could_ come play in the water with her, but lately she's decided that's boring. At the grand old age of five, she wants to do big kid stuff now. That's fine, Ahsoka decides, if Cassi doesn't want to play with her, Ahsoka doesn't want to play with her either. Pointedly, she turns away from the stream and begins drawing in the mud with a stick.

The circle she starts out with grows triangles for ears, then long pointy teeth. A few extra scribbles become the shaggy fur and the long tail, and Ahsoka nods with satisfaction at her Akul.

It looks just like the one she's been dreaming about lately.

In her dream, the Akul never attacks. It crouches in the shadows, yellow eyes narrowed at her. It howls it's piercing howl. But it never attacks.

Ahsoka wonders what it's waiting for.

She continues to scribble, attempting to tune out her sister, when suddenly Cassi lets out a scream. Ahsoka freezes.

That hadn't been a happy scream.

She turns around dread coiling in her stomach, and somehow, she already knows what she's going to see.

Upstream, Cassidra is scrambling up the bank, throwing frantic glances behind her. Ahsoka follows her gaze into the water, where an Akul slinks across the shallow stream towards her. It's teeth are bared, eyes bright with intent. It's orange fur is sleek with water and it's pointy ears are flattened against it's skull.

It's like something out of a nightmare.

Akul are the stuff of legends amongst the children of Shili. They're a scary campfire story, the bad guys in all the children's books. Once, at a diner, Ahsoka heard a mother telling her child, “Eat your dinner, or an Akul will gobble you up instead!”

Mother and Father have told Ahsoka and Cassidra many times not to worry. After all, Akul hunt in the grasslands and the grasslands are very far away.

_Mother lied_ , Ahsoka thinks. The Akul snarls.

“Father!” Cassi shrieks. “Father, help me!”

Her shout of alarm brings Father running. Mother was off the porch at the first sign of danger, but Ahsoka can tell they're not going to make it in time. The Akul is going to eat Cassi and then it's going to eat her and then they'll both become part of the scary campfire story.

_I'm_ not _going to let that happen,_ Ahsoka decides, and there's such a feeling of _certainty_ behind that thought that she's not even afraid as she steps closer to the bank.

Cassi has fallen onto her hands and knees in her haste to get away. She's crying, and in the distance Ahsoka can hear their parents shouting. Ahsoka doesn't cry. She doesn't shout. She feels strangely calm, standing on the bank of the stream staring down her planet's most feared predator.

She doesn't have a plan, like the heroes in Mother's bedtime stories always do. She just knows that there's an Akul ready to pounce on her sister and the adults are too far away and she has to do _something._

“Stop!” she commands, holding a hand out. That feeling of certainty expands, turns into something solid and real and _powerful_ and-

The Akul doesn't just _stop_. The Akul flies backwards into the stream, yowling it's displeasure. It hits the far bank and doesn't get back up, half submerged in the water.

Her father, mother, and three of their neighbours halt in their tracks twenty feet away, weapons raised. Even from here, Ahsoka can see their eyes are very, very wide.

For a moment, all is once again still and quiet and peaceful aside from Cassi's hiccuping sobs.

“By the moons of Shili,” says a friend of her father's, sounding like he's been hit over the head with something heavy, “Jepsa-”

“Not now,” Father says harshly. “It's not dead yet. Let's get the beast taken care of.”

Mother won't let Ahsoka or her sister watch as the grown ups 'take care' of the Akul. Instead, she ushers the two of them back inside, hugs them both fiercely and fixes them a snack.

“What am I going to do with you?” Mother says to Ahsoka, who's sitting on the counter waiting for a taste of the dough she's mixing. Her tone is happy, but Ahsoka squints.

“You're sad,” she says, that certain feeling returning. “Don't be sad. It's alright now.”

Mother's face does- _something._ “I'm not sad, darling. You and Cassi are safe, how could I possibly be sad?”

Ahsoka isn't sure. But Mother offers her some of the dough and she forgets all about it.

 

That evening, one of her father's longtime friends, who helped 'take care' of the Akul, comes back to the house, with a present for Ahsoka.

“For you,” he says with a flourish, holding it out to her. It's a headdress of Akul teeth. Ahsoka's eyes widen. Only Togruta who have killed an Akul get to wear those.

“Really, Zorris?” Mother sounds exasperated, but Ahsoka is delighted. She tries on the too-large headdress, beaming even as it slips sideways. That makes even Mother smile a little.

“Everyone agrees- she should have it,” Zorris explains. “They say it's only right. What she did- it was remarkable.”

Ahsoka doesn't know what remarkable means, but it sounds good. She smiles, suddenly feeling shy.

“Well, if that's all you're here for,” Father says from the doorway, “let me show you out.”

Zorris fixes Father with that kind of stare that grown-ups do sometimes. “Hang on a moment, Jepsa. I'm here because I know you won't do it- it's time to call the Jedi.”

“Ahsoka,” calls her mother. Ahsoka looks up, frowning at the trembling tone. “Come here please.”

Ahsoka runs to Mother, who picks her up and kisses her on the forehead. She holds Ahsoka tight for a moment and Ahsoka feels that same certain sense of _sad_ as before. Mother sighs. “Time for bed, _Ashla,”_ she says. “Run along now. I'll be there in a moment to say goodnight.”

Ahsoka wiggles down and leaves the kitchen, though she lingers, just for a moment in the hallway.

“Please,” Father says. He sounds tired. “Zorris- we need more time.”

“The longer you draw this out, the harder it's going to be,” Zorris says. “You need to think about what's best for your daughter. You promised when she was born- first sign of developing abilities, you call the Jedi.”

Ahsoka shakes her head, not understanding and continues down the hall. She takes a moment to swing her fists at an imaginary Akul, pushes her headdress higher on her forehead, then pretends to kick her door open.

Sleep comes easily to her that night. She dreams not of the waiting Akul, but of a kind, strange man with a brown robes, a mask and a glowing blue sword.

 


	2. Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has been dreaming of an island her whole life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 02: Island.

The map to Luke Skywalker may be complete, but there's just one problem.

“This leads to a planet,” Poe says, frowning at the hologram above them, “but there's no exact location. What are you gonna do, fly low until you spot him?”

Rey glances at General Organa, only to find her already looking back. The sadness that's weighed upon her these last few days has been considerably lightened by the discovery of this map. There's almost a twinkle in her eye. “Oh,” Leia says, “I think it'll be easier than that _._ ”

Later, when General Organa asks Rey and Chewie to go and find Luke Skywalker, Rey isn't even really surprised.

“If you don't mind me asking, why-?”

“Why you?” Leia finishes. She and Rey are the only ones left in the room, standing together at the holotable. Leia tilts her head back, studying the map. Countless stars and planets rotate above them, but her eyes are fixed on the tiny dot that is Ahch-To. “Because there is nobody on this base who will be able to find him faster.”

“How?” Rey asks. She watches as the Atollon system floats above her head. “If I do things Poe's way, we'll be looking for months.”

“Don't do things Poe's way,” Leia tells her. “Do them your way. Trust your feelings. Let the Force guide you.”

“I'm afraid I'm not very good at that yet,” Rey says. She doesn't bother asking how Leia knew about her Force-sensitivity. The General reminds her a little of Maz Kanata- she just _knows_ things. “General- why aren't you going? Luke is your brother, I'm sure he'd be more receptive to seeing someone he knows.”

“I wish I could, but my place is here,” says Leia. “I trust you, Rey. I trust Chewie. You'll find him.”

Leia Organa trusts her. Rey straightens up. “Alright,” she says. “I'll go.”

Leia smiles. “I know.”

 

Rey and Chewbacca set off for Ahch-To the next morning, with General Organa and the rest of the Resistance waving them off. Once they're in the air, speeding away from the Resistance base, Chewie looks at Rey.

“Do you know how we're going to find Luke once we're on Ahch-To?” he asks. There's no judgment, just curiosity.

“No,” Rey replies. “But I'm working on it.”

Trust her feelings. Trust the Force. That was a lot easier when the hopes of the Resistance weren't riding on those feelings.

The hyperspace journey to Ahch-To is perilous. Several times, the course requires them to come out of hyperspace to navigate around a nebulae, or an imploding star. Chewie assures her that he's seen worse, but Rey can now understand why nobody ever found Luke by accident. Getting to the planet itself is hard enough. Who would even want to _try_?

And then they drop out of hyperspace over Ahch-To and she understands, instinctively, what drew Luke to this place.

Rey has felt the Force strongly before. Luke's lightsaber had called to her. It lead her her deep into Maz Kanata's castle, although she didn't know what she was chasing. But that strange pull that she'd felt in her bones that day- here it is again.

It's like the planet is beckoning her closer.

The Millennium Falcon drops down into the atmosphere. The planet is comprised mostly of oceans, that much was clear immediately, but upon closer look, the choppy waves are broken up by thousands and thousands of islands.

Rey's breath catches. This planet looks familiar.

She shakes her head immediately. That doesn't make sense. She's never been here before, she definitely would have remembered _that_.

Chewie looks over at her curiously, but Rey is focused now. How does she know this planet? How could she possibly have-

_Oh._

A new island comes into view, and suddenly she knows.

Rey has been dreaming about that island for as long as she can remember.

When she was a child, she thought maybe she had made it up, one of her fantasy worlds she would escape to while drifting off to sleep alone in her AT-AT. It had comforted her, the idea of far off places with brilliant blue seas and endless green grass. She spent hours imagining all the places she wanted to go once her family came back for her.

But she would see it in her dreams too, as clear as day- a wide blue ocean under a pale sky.

And rising up into that sky was an island.

“There it is,” she breathes. And she knows, without a shadow of a doubt- that's where she'll find Luke Skywalker.

Chewbacca howls an apprehensive question, although he's already looking for a safe place to land the Falcon.

“How do I know? I just do,” Rey says, and Chewbacca has spent enough of his life around Force-sensitives that he doesn't question her further.

Rey drinks in the sight of her island as they draw closer. It looks exactly how she imagined it, and as they circle around, she can even see the ruins of a building, just like in her dreams. She blinks, twice, just to make sure she's not still asleep on Jakku.

She doesn't know why she's been dreaming about this island for so long, or why this is the same island Luke Skywalker fled to years ago. But she as she steps out of the Falcon onto the rocky ground, she finds her mind returning to Maz Kanata's words, from what feels like a lifetime ago.

_The belonging you seek is not behind, it is ahead._

Rey looks up at the steep mountain rising above her and starts to climb.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than really really late, right?


	3. Emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin, Ahsoka and the Jedi Code.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 03- Emotion. This one got away from me.

_There is no emotion, there is peace._

“I don't understand,” Ahsoka admitted to her Master. “If Jedi aren't supposed to show emotion, how are we supposed to be compassionate? That part of the Code contradicts what we stand for as Jedi.”

“If you take it at face value, maybe,” Anakin replied. He set down his datapad, which he was using to write a report. “But the Code isn't telling us we aren't ever allowed to have emotions. What it's saying is that we shouldn't let our emotions rule us. If you have an important decision to make, make it with peace, not out of anger, or fear.”

“That makes sense.” Ahsoka frowned. “Why doesn't it just say so?”

Anakin shook his head, amused. “I dunno, Snips. I asked Obi-Wan the same thing when I was a Padawan.”

“And what did he say?”

“Some knowledge should be earned, not taken, my young apprentice,” Anakin said in a credible impression of his Master. Ahsoka masked a snicker behind her hand and went back to her studies.

 

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

“You alright there, Ahsoka?”

Ahsoka dropped her hand from her chin and suppressed a yawn. “I'm fine, Master. I just have a lot of studying to catch up on since we've been away from Coruscant for so long.”

She expected him to nod in sympathy and leave her to it. Instead, he came around the table and sat down beside her. “What is it today? Languages? Galactic affairs? History?”

“History,” Ahsoka said. “The Hundred-Year-Darkness.” It wasn't boring by any means, but once she was finished the chapter on that, she needed to start on her languages. It was going to be a long night.

“Hey, I remember doing that bit,” Anakin said. “Do you have any questions? I was pretty good at history.”

And swordmanship, and languages, and galactic affairs, and most other subjects, from what she had heard. Ahsoka had big shoes to fill as his Padawan. She would appreciate the help with her studies, but...

“What's wrong?” she asked suspiciously. “This isn't like you. At all.”

“Nothing's wrong,” Anakin assured her. “But you've been stuck in the library all day and you deserve to have some free time before we ship back out again. So let's get this over with.”

Ahsoka blinked. The fact that Anakin occasionally paid attention to things like that was news to her.

But, it was also nice that he cared. She found herself smiling. “Thank you, Master.”

 

_There is no passion, there is serenity._

_“Rex!”_ Ahsoka yelled across the blasterfire. She made to run across the battlefield to the fallen soldier, but Anakin held her back.

“If you try to go over there in fire this heavy, you _are_ going to get hit,” he hissed. “Jesse and Kix are with him. The best thing you can do for Rex right now is to clear your mind and finish this fight.” His gaze softened, just a bit. “Okay?”

Ahsoka took a deep breath, forcing herself not to look back across the field to Rex's prone form. “Okay.”

They dove back into the fray, but things were different now. Feelings of anger and fear drove Ahsoka's actions, making her swings heavier and her head feel clouded. She gritted her teeth and took down one battle droid with such ferocity that she almost got shot by another coming up behind her. Frustrated, she hacked that one into pieces as well.

This wasn't working. She was trying to channel her emotions into a passion that could help them win this fight, but it was leaving her vulnerable and she was making mistakes she hadn't made in months.

_Focus,_ she told herself. _Clear your mind. You can do this._

She took a breath, in and out, and the world around her seemed to come back into focus. She reached for the Force to help center herself, and slowly, the clouds in her mind lifted.

She had found her point of serenity, and now she would win this for Rex.

Later, when they had secured a perimeter and Rex was safely in the med bay aboard the Resolute, Anakin came up beside her.

“You did well today Snips,” he commented. “I saw you starting to lose it out there, but you pulled it together and kept going.”

“Your training is finally starting to pay off,” Ahsoka said lightly, though inside she was beaming at the praise. Anakin nodded.

“That must be it,” he said in that false cocky tone of his. Then he smiled warmly. “In any case, good job.”

 

_There is no chaos, there is harmony._

It was a two man job. Get in, get out, don't be seen. Both as simple and as difficult as that.

All the men nominated Anakin and Ahsoka for the job.

“It couldn't be anyone else,” muttered Hardcase, and there were several murmurs of agreement.

The two of them ran silently through the grasslands of Vexis III, careful to stay out of the path of the searchlights coming from the Separatist compound. The weight of twenty thermal detonators in each of their packs didn't even slow them down.

Once they were safely in the shadows at the base of the compound, Anakin stepped back to look at the tall walls before them.

“You ready?” he said in an undertone.

“Just like we practised,” Ahsoka confirmed. She took a running start at the wall, then leaped, using the Force to assist her. As her feet left the ground, she could feel Anakin drawing on the Force to give her an extra boost. For a moment she was flying, soaring through the dark skies over the compound.

She touched down on top of the wall, careful to make as little noise as possible. Turning around, she accessed the Force again- this time to help Anakin as he made his jump. When they were both on the wall, Anakin gave her a short nod, then ran left along the wall. Ahsoka turned right.

The whole thing had taken less than thirty seconds.

Getting in undetected had been the hard part. From there, it was easy to sneak around the Separatist compound, evading battle droids and planting thermal detonators. They had both agreed on their respective courses of action beforehand- Ahsoka would take the open yard, Anakin would go for the reactor powering the compound. When they were done, they would meet outside.

Ahsoka planted her last five detonators on the tanks by the door, then slipped outside with the patrol. When she got to the rendezvous point, Anakin was waiting.

“What took you so long?” he quipped, and Ahsoka rolled her eyes, knowing it was too dark for him to see.

“Better to be thorough than to rush through and make mistakes,” she said.

“Now you sound like Obi-Wan,” Anakin said. He held up his thermal detonator switch. “Ready?”

Ahsoka raised her own and nodded. Anakin counted down, and on one, they both pressed their switches.

Two hundred yards away, the separatist compound lit up as bright as day.

Anakin and Ahsoka exchanged satisfied looks. With them, the result of harmony was usually chaos, and that was the best part.

 

_There is no death, there is the Force._

“I brought you some tea,” Ahsoka said softly. She stepped further into Anakin's quarters, taking in the silhouette by the window. He wasn't standing tall like he usually did. There were new lines of grief etched into his frame.

Anakin didn't move. “No thank you.” His voice was hoarse.

“Anakin, you haven't eaten anything in days.”

“I'm not hungry.”

Ahsoka set the tea down on his workshop bench and came to stand beside him at the window.

Usually, silences between them were peaceful and calm. This one was not. It was awkward and empty and Ahsoka could tell that her Master was struggling to control his emotions.

“You still haven't been sleeping, huh?” she guessed. “Neither have I.” The nightmares were so bad, she didn't want to try.

Anakin looked up at that. “You need to sleep, Snips. We have to be ready in case the Council decides to send us out again.”

Ahsoka rested a hand on his shoulder. It was a role reversal that was rare with them. “Maybe it's time for you to take your own advice.”

Anakin shook his head. His lips were pressed tightly together. “I can't.”

“I know.”

He took a few steps back, then, sinking down onto one of the round meditation stools by the window. Ahsoka sat down on the other, taking a moment to study his features.

He looked thinner, like he'd lost weight he couldn't afford to. His face was pale and drawn and his eyes were dull, like a spark had gone out within them.

Anakin loved deeply and he felt loss even deeper. It wasn't a surprise that Obi-Wan's death was affecting him like this, but it broke her heart further all the same.

“Have you been meditating like Master Yoda said?” Anakin asked.

After the funeral, Master Yoda had told them both to meditate and release their grief into the Force. Ahsoka had tried at first, but quickly discovered that destroying things in the training room was much more effective at taking her mind off things.

“Sort of,” she hedged. Anakin raised an eyebrow and she sighed. “No.”

“I understand,” Anakin said. “But Ahsoka, meditation is still important. These things... take time to process, and meditating can help with that.”

“Then why aren't _you_ meditating?” Ahsoka challenged lightly. By now, she could tell the difference between pieces of wisdom that Anakin meant and things he was saying because he thought she was supposed to learn them.

He looked down. “I can't.”

“Don't give me the official Jedi Master sayings, Anakin,” Ahsoka said, leaning forward. “Not after- not now.”

“What do you _want_ me to say, Snips?” Anakin said helplessly. “I can't tell you to sleep, because I'm not sleeping. I can't tell you to meditate, because I'm not doing that either. I could tell you _there is no death, there is the Force_ and _a Jedi does not form attachments_ and a hundred other things, but that won't help because you and I are too alike for our own good.”

“Master Kenobi used to say that a lot,” Ahsoka said without thinking. “Usually after we'd pulled off another one of your wild schemes.”

“Hey, those schemes worked every time, no matter what he tried to say,” Anakin retorted automatically, and they both stared at each other for a moment.

It was the first time one of them had directly mentioned Obi-Wan since that day in the alley.

Anakin cleared his throat, glancing away. Ahsoka twisted her fingers together in her lap.

And the world just- kept going.

There was silence again, but this time it was much less awkward.

“As for what I want you to say,” Ahsoka ventured after a while, “yes to the tea would be a good start.”

Anakin blinked, as if he'd completely forgotten about it. He aimed a hesitant smile at Ahsoka. It was a shadow of his usual bright, cocky grin, but still a good sign. “You know, tea sounds great, Snips. Thanks.”

It wasn't just a thanks for the tea, and they both knew it.

“Anytime, Master.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote 'there is no death, there is the Force' four times before I was happy with it. Whoops.


	4. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A convor leads Ahsoka deep into the Atollon wilderness, where she finds something unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 4- Flight. (this has very little to do with flight, but the word is in there.)

There was a convor watching Ahsoka.

She tried to keep her attention on the conversation at hand as Kanan discussed preparation plans for their journey to Malachor, but her gaze continued to wander back to the convor, who was perched on a branch thirty feet away.

It didn't look away. It didn't get bored and fly off. It merely continued to stare at her.

“Everything okay?” Kanan asked, sounding concerned. Ahsoka smiled at him.

“Everything's fine,” she said reassuringly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the convor take flight. Maybe it had been nothing. Unlikely, but not impossible.

“We're leaving in a half hour,” Kanan told her. “If you have any last minute preparations to make, do them now.”

There was a squawk above their heads. They both looked up to see the convor circling above them, the rising sun shimmering on it's gold and green feathers.

It was still looking at Ahsoka.

“I will,” she said, directing her words to the convor. “Thank you.”

Once Kanan had headed back into the Ghost, the convor let out a piercing cry and dove low. It circled around her once more, then flew west over the trees, slow enough that Ahsoka would be able to follow it into the Atollon wilderness. She didn't hesitate.

The Force worked in mysterious ways and Ahsoka was eager to find out what it had in store for her now.

She ducked under low hanging branches and jumped fallen logs with ease, making sure to keep the convor in her sight. Every once in a while it would land on the flora in front of her, as if to double check that she was keeping up. Then it would take off again.

The sky was brighter by the time Ahsoka pushed aside a large leaf and skidded down a slope. She found herself in a large open area, almost like a bowl. There was a cave set into the stone to her left and several rocky structures reached toward the sky.

The Force felt different. Whatever the convor had intended her to find, it was here.

The convor settled onto the nearby flora and closed it's eyes. It's mission appeared to be complete.

“Who's there?” Ahsoka called out. “Why have you brought me here?”

The ground rumbled and she took a step back, instantly alert. In front of her, a jagged looking rock formation began to shake. It rose from the ground and began to take shape. A large head emerged, then a torso and limbs. Gigantic grey eyes blinked open and Ahsoka realized this wasn't a rock formation at all, but a creature.

A very powerful creature.

The being raised itself up on two enormous arms and turned it's gaze to her. Those eyes seemed to pierce right through her, and she found herself thinking of Master Yoda.

“The better question is,” said the creature in a strangely tranquil voice for a beast so large, “why did you feel you had to come?”

“Preparation,” Ahsoka said simply. “Who are you?”

“You are familiar with both the Ashla and Bogan, the light and the dark, yes?”

“Yes.”

“I am the Bendu. The balance, the one in the middle.”

That stirred a memory. Long ago, she had met the personification of the light and the dark side. The Son and the Daughter, they had called themselves. Their father had been their balance, but the Bendu felt different. He gave off the same sense of incredible power, and yet he felt... older. As old as the Force itself.

And who might you be?”

“I'm Ahsoka Tano,” she said, and for once it didn't occur to her to give a false name.

“What brings you to this world, Ahsoka Tano?”

“My friends are here,” she said. “There's an evil that they need help defeating.”

“Hmm.” The Bendu nodded his craggy head. Several streams of pebbles poured onto the ground with the movement. “And you do this purely out of the goodness of your heart?”

It had taken all of three seconds for him to see right through her.

“I'm looking for answers,” she admitted. “I'm hoping I might find then on Malachor today.”

“ _Malachor,_ ” the Bendu said with interest. “And yet, I sense little darkness within you. What kind of answers are you looking for?”

“Someone I knew,” Ahsoka said, “My Master, when I was a Jedi Padawan. I think he might have become the Sith Lord, Darth Vader.”

Bendu fixed her with an intense look. “Then it is not answers you seek on Malachor. It is confrontation.”

A chill ran down Ahsoka's spine. “He'll be there, then.”

“This is not anything you didn't already know.”

It was true. It had been in the back of her mind since Ezra first brought up Malachor- that would be where she would see Vader face to face. It was inevitable.

This was her chance to rid the galaxy of a great evil. Her chance to even the playing field for the Rebellion. And yet...

This was her chance to see Anakin again. To bring him back. To right some of the wrongs she had caused by leaving him behind.

“There is much conflict within you,” Bendu observed.

“I must fight him,” Ahsoka said. “But how can I kill him, if he really is Anakin?”

“Violence is never a must,” Bendu said mildly. “It is a choice.”

“Yes, but this choice could save thousands of innocent lives,” Ahsoka replied. “The way I see it, it _is_ a must.”

“Hmm,” the Bendu said again. “This does not sound like the Jedi way.”

“I am no longer a Jedi.” Things were different now.

“You are set on this confrontation, then?” The Bendu sounded neutral, but Ahsoka still felt like she had failed a test of some kind.

She looked away. “I have to know the truth.”

“So be it,” Bendu said. “But understand that much will change from this encounter, including you.”

“Isn't that true of all things, as time advances?” Ahsoka replied. She was not the same person she'd been when she and Anakin parted ways at the end of the Clone Wars. She was stronger now, and that strength would help her in her confrontation with Vader.

The Bendu inclined his head. “My dear, when I say change, I mean death.”

Ahsoka fought to keep her face neutral. “So I will die, then?”

“Will you?” Bendu raised an eyebrow. “I didn't know that. Goodbye then, Ahsoka Tano, former Jedi Knight.”

The ground began to shake once more as the Bendu turned away from her. He sank down, and within seconds, he looked like any other unassuming rock formation out in the Atollon wilderness.

Above her, the convor took flight once again. It seemed determined to stay with her until she left the planet.

Once, many years ago, Ahsoka had heard that convors were a death omen. “My mam, a convor followed her home from the market and she died twenty hours later,” someone had told her. She didn't remember their name or face, but she remembered the words.

Above her, the convor shrieked sadly.

Ahsoka straightened up, squared her shoulders and began the walk back to the Rebel base.

Whatever awaited her later, she would not shy away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this written a couple of days ago and was going to post it when I got home from work today but I fell asleep instead and here we are at five to twelve.
> 
> Note- the last bit of dialogue, starting with "so you are set on this confrontation, then?" belongs to Dave Filoni. I just expanded upon the picture he posted on Twitter a while back of Ahsoka meeting the Bendu.


	5. Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new Admiral aboard the Resolute who has some questions about Anakin's teaching methods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 5- Game.

The new Admiral was temporary. Just until Yularen recovered from his injuries.

Anakin kept that mantra on repeat in his head. It was the only way he could maintain proper respect for Yularen's replacement.

Admiral Pike Vantora was the stiffest man Anakin had ever met. He followed protocol down to the letter, ordered the clones around without thought, called for strategy meetings at dawn and had made several haughty comments about Ahsoka's attire. Everyone aboard the Resolute tolerated his presence, but the atmosphere cooled considerably whenever Vantora entered a room.

When Yularen got back, Anakin had a feeling the entire crew of the ship would be on their best behaviour. At least for a while. But for now, he was doing his best to make sure that life on the Resolute continued on as normal.

“Seventy two kills, Master!” Ahsoka exclaimed as the two of them entered the bridge. “My squadron finally beat yours!”

“By three kills, Ahsoka,” Anakin said airily. “Don't get cocky. It won't happen again.”

Ahsoka grinned and headed into the war room to assist Rex while Anakin continued up the deck. He was checking on the progress of their course through hyperspace when there was a polite cough behind him.

“Excuse me, General Skywalker,” came Admiral Vantora's snooty voice. “May I have a word?”

“Of course, Admiral,” Anakin said, straightening up. He turned around. “Is something wrong?”

“You tell me,” Vantora said. He was a short, bald man, with a large moustache and bushy eyebrows that were almost always furrowed together. There were permanent frown lines on his forehead. That frown that had been gaining a reputation lately was currently directed up at Anakin. “If it was a one time thing, I could ignore it, but no, it's been consistent for weeks, a pattern- why are you and your Padawan treating this war like it's some kind of game?”

Ah. Anakin should have known that this would come up eventually. He folded his arms in front of him and waited.

“Keeping score of the enemies you've destroyed, trying to outfly each other during space battles,” Vantora went on. “Do you have no respect for your position as a General and teacher? Thousands of men die in these battles and you want to play _games_? What kind of example are you trying to set for your pupil, Skywalker?”

Vantora was not the first person to question Anakin's teaching methods, and he wouldn't be the last. He often faced whispers and offhanded comments by other Masters for the way he taught his apprentice. When the comments were from a Jedi, he stayed quiet out of respect. They could think what they wanted.

But, he had been waiting for an opportunity to put Vantora in his place.

“Come with me, Admiral,” Anakin said mildly, and strode across the bridge, leaving Vantora scrambling behind him. By the time the Admiral caught up, Anakin had retrieved a datapad from an officer and was pulling up the database, which contained the profiles of all ranking officers aboard the Resolute. He navigated to _Commanders,_ then selected a profile and handed the datapad to Vantora.

“Read this for me, will you?”

Vantora glanced at the profile, then scoffed. “I hardly think I need a refresher on your apprentice's military archive data.”

“Read it anyway.”

Vantora heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Let's see. Padawan Ahsoka Tano. Rank- Commander. Species- Togruta, homeworld- Shili, fourteen standard years of age, a Jedi Padawan under the tutelage of Jedi General Anakin Skywalker. First received her rank a little over seven months ago. Skywalker, this is all very _nice_ , but I fail to see the point you're making.”

Everyone, _everyone_ who read Ahsoka's profile never saw anything wrong with it. Their gaze never stopped, or became troubled, because with all their wisdom and experience with war, they forgot one very crucial detail.

Anakin took a step forward, towering over Vantora. He narrowed his eyes. “Read that first part again. My Padawan is fourteen years old, Admiral Vantora.You have a problem with the games? She shouldn't even be fighting this war in the first place.”

It was a simple truth that everyone had forgotten. The other officers, the senators who passed laws allowing underage Jedi to fight in the Clone Wars, even the Jedi Masters who expected so much of Ahsoka on the battlefield.

“But- she's a Jedi!” Vantora spluttered. “She's better than half the clone troopers out there!”

Anakin shook his head. “Ahsoka's abilities are advanced, yes. But she's still just a kid, Admiral. Look.”

He nodded across the bridge, through the open door to the command centre. Ahsoka was laughing at something one of the clone had said. It was a bright and happy sound, one he didn't hear nearly often enough.

She looked younger when she laughed. The fierce and capable Commander receded for a moment to let the teenager girl shine through.

Anakin could see a similar thought was occurring to Vantora as well. The Admiral deflated like an old balloon. It was a look that suited him well, in Anakin's opinion.

Vantora wasn't quite done, though. “But- why the games, General? What is the _point_?”

Anakin considered his answer.

He could tell the Admiral that he had seen the war starting to affect his Padawan. He could explain that he had seen her haunted face after missions, felt her terror before every major battle. Anakin had seen grieve after they'd lost soldiers she was close to, watched her shoulders shake for a moment before she straightened up and kept fighting. He could describe how badly he'd wanted to send her back to Coruscant for a break, but the Jedi were stretched so thin that it wasn't an option.

So he'd done what he could out here to lighten the mood and make things a little easier for her. To let her be a kid again.

He created games. Competitions. Some were based on who could kill the most opponents in a mission, some were challenges to see who could outfly the other in a space battle. Sometimes, they even switched lightsabers, just to see who could fight better with a foreign blade. All of the games had one thing in common- they were distracting from the real horrors of what they were up against.

He didn't tell Vantora any of this. If he didn't understand already, he never would.

Instead, Anakin flashed a charming grin and said, “the point is to win, Admiral. That's what a competition is, after all. ”

Vantora did a very Yularen-like thing then, and growled, shaking his head. “Skywalker, you are impossible.”

“So I've been told,” Anakin said. He took a moment to consider the Admiral. He had been sufficiently cowed. Anakin didn't think Vantora would bother he or Ahsoka again, and that was good enough for him. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to debrief my men.”

He made his escape, striding across the bridge to join Ahsoka and Rex in the command centre.

Vantora was temporary.

But it certainly had felt good to bring him down a peg while he was here.

“What was _that_ about?” Ahsoka asked as he stopped by her side. Clearly she'd been paying attention to their encounter from across the bridge.

“Oh, you know,” Anakin said vaguely. “Just telling the good Admiral how we do things around here.”

“Okay, I won't pry,” Ahsoka said. “But don't forget, Master, I won today, so you're buying dinner next time we're on Coruscant.”

“Blast it,” Anakin said under his breath. There _was_ a downside to their games after all.

But it was a price he was willing to pay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's late, but I have today's fic going up later tonight to make up for it.


	6. Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chewbacca has been around a rather long time. Han Solo was not his first human companion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 6- Friend.

Han Solo was not the first human Chewbacca had developed a bond with.

Chewbacca had been around a rather long time, 234 years, to be exact. He wasn't old, not by his species' standards, nor was he young. He was just old enough to have been around the galaxy a few times.

The first human he'd taken under his wing, so to speak, had been a man, around the age of 30. Chewbacca himself had been in his thirties at the time, and the two of them had met when the man came to Kashyyyk to sell wood carvings. He met Chewbacca, befriended him, and then never left.

The man's name was Saylem Icarus and they were at very different points in their lives. Although they were the same age, Saylem was fully mature, an adult in human terms. Chewbacca was a teenager, still enjoying the carefree life to the fullest.

They were an odd pair, but their friendship was strong. When Saylem married a nice Pantoran girl, their children called Chewbacca 'uncle'. When Chewbacca was initiated into the Kashyyyk military boot camp, Saylem was at the ceremony. When one of Chewbacca's older brothers was killed in an accident, Saylem dropped everything to be by Chewbacca's side.

No matter how good of a pair they were, they couldn't escape the reality that Saylem was aging much faster than Chewbacca. When they were both fifty, Chewbacca was barely considered a legal adult, whereas Saylem was developing gray hair and creaky joints. When they were sixty, Chewbacca was in his prime and Saylem could no longer shape his carvings and was forced to retire.

 

Saylem Icarus died aged sixty five of a heart attack, and Chewie mourned his passing for years.

 

The next human was in her twenties when she and Chewbacca crossed paths. She was a Jedi, on a political mission to Kashyyyk, and Chewbacca found himself admiring her spirit. Her name was Kit Hanlon and she had the same black hair and dark eyes of Saylem Icarus. He eventually helped her save the Senator of Kashyyyk from an assassination plot and from then on, they shared a bond. He saw her from time to time over the years, and sometimes she would specifically request him for missions in the Mytaranor sector.

Kit Hanlon died at age fifty-eight, poisoned to death on an icy moon in the outer rim and Chewbacca, now one hundred and ten, decided then that humans were too fragile for him to continue to connect with.

 

Of course, that only lasted so long.

 

When Chewbacca was one hundred and twenty five, he met a street kid on Coruscant with a shock of black hair and incredibly good reflexes. In another life, Lorris Starkiller could have been a Jedi. Instead, he was born in the outer rim and his parents were killed in a transport crash on Alsaka. There had been eight survivors, and Lorris was one of them.

Chewie couldn't help it. He liked the kid. And so he decided to give him a job on his ship, and then began the cycle all over again.

Lorris was clever, witty and hardworking. He complained often, but he always completed the tasks Chewbacca threw at him and a mutual respect developed between the human and wookiee. By the time Lorris was twenty three years old, he was Chewie's second in command and the rest of his crew saw Lorris as one of them.

Unlike Saylem, Lorris never married. It didn't seem to interest him. He was content to remain Chewbacca's right hand man, and although he eventually got a ship of his own and occasionally took his own jobs, he always returned to Chewbacca's crew.

The clock ticked down in Chewbacca's mind this time. Somewhere in his head, he was always conscious of the fragility of man.

Lorris Starkiller and Chewbacca worked side by side for nearly twenty-five years. When Lorris was 42 years old, he took gravely ill with a sickness of the lungs. The doctors, for all their advanced technology, said there was nothing they could do, and so Chewbacca made his friend as comfortable as he could and stayed close.

 

Lorris died at age 43, when Chewbacca was one hundred and fifty one years old. He didn't take another companion after that.

 

Instead, Chewbacca went home. He found himself a wife and had a son, who he loved dearly. That, he thought, was all he needed to be happy. A simple family, one that he wasn't going to outlive, one that wouldn't be taken from him by simple human illnesses.

And for years, that was enough.

Then, the clone wars happened. The empire happened. Slavery happened, and suddenly, his family was gone and Chewbacca was looking at a life of slavery to the Trandoshans.

And then one day, 32 years after Lorris Starkiller's death, the compound that housed the prisoners exploded.

Chewbacca's memories after that were hazy.

A kid, rushing through the smoke with a blaster and pure nerve, shouting “cmon, cmon! Get moving!”

Cold durasteel of a blaster being pressed to Chewbacca's skull before he could escape, a hissed “not so fast brute,” from the mouth of the Trandoshan warden.

Closing his eyes as he prepared for a slow and painful death, thankful, at least, that his fellow Wookiees would live that day.

A blaster shot echoing around him, but no pain.

The child had saved him, circling around through the smoke and confusion to get an angle on the warden. And as per the customs of his people, Chewbacca owed him a life debt.

Neither he or Han Solo were very pleased about this.

Han Solo was thirteen years old, an orphan doing odd jobs for smugglers and drug lords. Chewbacca probably would have felt sorry for the child if he hadn't been such a smug, arrogant, reckless brat. He stuck by the kid out of duty, but every now and then, his mind would wander to Lorris. To Kit. To Saylem.

To be in their debt would not have been a bad life. They were the best of humanity. Han Solo? He may have been a child, but already there was no room in his heart for love for anyone but himself.

Or so Chewbacca thought.

Eventually, with too many Imperial eyes on them in the mid-rim, Chewbacca and Han were forced to flee further out. There were more jobs in the outer rim, but it was also more dangerous, and the competition was stiffer. Chewbacca found there was only so much he could do to protect the boy.

They landed on Nal Hutta to refuel, only to catch the attention of notorious bounty hunter Rohan Longswinger. Somehow, he'd gotten word that they were carrying quite a cargo of weapons for a crime family on Dantonar and even Han's bluffing couldn't get them out of this one.

Chewie and Han had gotten very very good at running away, but Longswinger's ship was faster. He targeted their engines, leaving them dead in space, and sent out a boarding ramp.

Chewbacca ushered Han into the escape pod, intending to deal with Longswinger himself. But the bounty hunter was craftier than Chewbacca expected, and the Wookiee found himself entangled in a vibro-whip, staring down the barrel of a blaster. The more he thrashed, the tighter the whip wound itself around him.

“Tell me where you keep your shipments,” Longswinger demanded. Chewbacca told him, in no polite terms, to go to hell. He wracked his brains for another solution as the bounty hunter drew nearer with the blaster. There had to be a way out of this.

That way appeared in the form of a brown-haired blur dropping from the ventilation ducts above them and nailing the bounty hunter in the face with a stun blast. Chewbacca couldn't help the startled sound of surprise that fell from his mouth as Han straightened up and began untangling Chewbacca from the whip. He thought Han would have been halfway to the nearest moon by now.

“What are you doing here? I told you to get in the escape pod,” he growled.

“Yeah, yeah, but I couldn't just let that guy take our cargo, y'know?” Han said. “And,” he mumbled, looking away, “you were in trouble. Couldn't leave you behind.” He turned away and started to tie up Longswinger with his own vibro-whip. Chewbacca watched him with fresh eyes.

So. Han Solo had a heart after all.

That day was the start of a partnership that would last fifty years.

Han was different than his other human companions. He cared deeply about his friends, but had a hard time showing it. He could be terribly selfish one second and ready to save the entire galaxy the next. He felt loss and heartache to the core, but only someone who'd known him a while would know he was suffering.

Chewbacca saved his life enough times over those fifty years to cancel the life-debt a hundred times over, but he didn't dream of leaving. Even after the war, when he was free to be with his wife and child again, he spent a few years on Kashyyyk before falling right back into his smuggling ways with his old friend.

And Han _was_ getting older. Chewie could see the lines developing on his face, the grey sprinkling in his hair. This time, he refused to think about the clock counting down. He'd already had more time with Han than any of his previous companions. He wouldn't waste their finals years dreading saying goodbye one more time.

Chewbacca had always known he would never lose Han Solo to old age. But he never thought he'd lose him to his own flesh and blood.

Ben Solo ran his father through with a blood-red saber and watched coldly as he fell over the catwalk and Chewbacca's world halted.

He hardly remembered firing a shot at his friend's son. He distantly recognized that he was killing every stormtrooper in sight. All he could feel, however, was a deep, agonizing pain.

He hadn't been ready. With the others, he'd had time to recognize that they were losing their tether on life, but with Han, he thought he'd have more time. Han Solo had always acted invincible, and after a while, even Chewie had been taken in by the act.

The act was over, and Han was lying at the bottom of a hole. But Chewbacca found that thinking about that was too much to deal with, and so he let his rage take over and carry him through the rest of the mission.

Much later, after Finn was rushed to emergency care and the girl, Rey, had left him alone, Chewbacca sat in the Millennium Falcon and let himself grieve.

There was still so much to do. They had to find Luke. They had to destroy Kylo Ren, and restore order to the New Republic. But for now, all Chewbacca could think about was all that he had lost.

The last fifty years had been the most formative of his life.

_Never again,_ he thought. _I can't go through this ever again._

He wasn't built for this. Wookiees were long-lived creatures who bonded with family and friends for life. For him to bond with these humans only to lose them ten, twenty, fifty years later was breaking him.

When Kylo Ren was dead, it was time for him to return home.

“Chewbacca?”

It was the girl, the one Han liked so much. Chewie liked her too. She was young, a bit naive, but she had great heart and passion. She reminded Chewbacca of Luke.

He supposed there was a reason for that. Han had seen it too.

Rey stepped hesitantly into the Millennium Falcon. He didn't know what she saw on his face, but it made her stop in her tracks.

“I can go,” she started, but Chewbacca shook his head.

“No. Stay.”

Rey crept closer and sat beside him. They were silent for a while.

“I'm so sorry,” she said. “General Organa said you knew him longer than anyone. After just a few days I was- I'm sorry.”

Chewbacca closed his eyes at the mention of Leia. He would go looking for her later. They would need each other in the coming weeks.

“They found the missing piece of the map to Luke,” Rey continued. Chewbacca looked up at that. “The General wants me to go to him. She says I have the best chance of finding him.”

“You need a ship for that,” Chewbacca commented.

“And preferably a copilot,” Rey said. “I know I have no right to ask this of you, not now, but-”

“Yes,” Chewbacca said. “When do we leave?”

He needed to take action, in whatever way he could. At the same time, he didn't have it in him right now to leave Han's ship. This, he could do.

There was a steely look in Rey's eyes now. “We leave tomorrow morning.”

They sat in silence a while longer, their shared grief a quiet bond, before Rey got up to leave. She looked back at Chewie one more time. “Thank you, Chewbacca,” she said softly, and in that moment Chewbacca could see the years panning out in front of him, new adventures, new missions, new loss, all over again.

Han Solo hadn't been the first human companion.

And he probably wouldn't be the last.

Maybe he wasn't built for this, but it was who he was anyway. Chewbacca nodded once to Rey, then leaned back and closed his eyes in the ship full of ghosts.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know how this one became longer than the rest. I wrote this at three am and got... carried away.


	7. Absent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin often disappears from the Temple when they're on Coruscant. Ahsoka notices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 7- Absent

Ahsoka wasn't blind. No matter what her Master thought.

She noticed his absences when they were on Coruscant. She knew that the second their debriefings with the Council were over, he was itching to get out the door. Sometimes he was back within a few hours, sometimes he was away overnight. He always made time for her when they were home, but she could tell his heart was somewhere else.

She never said anything. It really wasn't any of her business.

Except for when it affected her directly.

Their blades crossed with a sizzle in the training room. Ahsoka leaped back, then abruptly switched to a reverse grip and took a swipe at Anakin's legs. He jumped just in time- Ahsoka's lightsaber missed him by a hair.

Ahsoka raised an eye marking at her Master and he scowled. Both of them knew that should have been an easy dodge.

They crossed lightsabers again, then Ahsoka ducked as Anakin aimed a strike at her head. She flipped over him and tried to attack from behind, but he merely raised his lightsaber behind his head, meeting her blade.

“Nice try,” he said.

“You've been so distracted, I thought it might work this time,” Ahsoka replied teasingly. Anakin's response to that was to turn around and attempt to kick her feet out from under her. She danced back, then returned to her ready position.

Anakin went on the offensive, attacking with heavy blows and strikes that Ahsoka struggled to deflect. He was good, forcing her to give up ground and keep her blade up, but she could see by the absent look in his eyes that he really wasn't in it today.

Sometimes, he got like this. Usually, it happened if he'd been stuck in the Temple for too long. Ahsoka sighed internally. She'd been looking forward to a good spar.

Instead, it was almost easy for her to parry a low blow, then counterattack with a series of Djem So strikes. She followed those up with a kick to the knee, which knocked Anakin off balance enough that she could swing her lightsaber up to his neck.

For a moment, they froze like that, breathing hard.

“Well done,” Anakin said after a moment. He deactivated his lightsaber, looking very displeased with himself.

“You were pretty out of it,” Ahsoka commented. She lowered her own lightsaber. It was always nice to win against her Master, but this felt like a hollow victory.

“Maybe,” Anakin allowed. “Want to go again?”

Ahsoka smiled. “You want me to beat you again?”

“You got lucky that time, Snips,” Anakin said confidently. “You won't get lucky twice.”

Ahsoka would have said yes to another round. She almost did.

Except...

There was still that absent, faraway look in his eyes. Physically, he was right here, but mentally, he was somewhere else.

If they kept going, he was just going to get frustrated. Best to let him go now, while he was still in high spirits.

“Go on,” Ahsoka told him.

“What?”

“I know your mind is somewhere else, Anakin,” she said. “You can have your rematch later, but right now... I think you have somewhere to be.”

She didn't know for sure where that _somewhere_ was. But she had her suspicions.

The look Anakin gave her then was cautious. “Are you sure, Snips? I don't want to cut your training short.”

“You aren't the only one in the Temple who knows how to use a lightsaber, Master,” Ahsoka reminded him. “I'll find someone else to spar with for a while.”

She'd never seen someone pull off fond exasperation as well as Anakin Skywalker. “Alright,” he said, already heading for the door. “I'll be back for that rematch later,” he called, and disappeared into the hallway.

Ahsoka shook her head, smiling. She wouldn't win that rematch, she already knew that. When Anakin came back, he would be calmer and more focused, and a balanced Anakin Skywalker was a force to be reckoned with.

Maybe he found that balance a little differently than other Jedi. That was okay, Ahsoka thought. Her Master was an unorthodox Jedi.

But that didn't mean she couldn't keep training while he was gone. Ahsoka raised her comlink.

“Hey, Barriss, are you busy?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally got my days mixed up and almost posted Day 9's fic today and completely skipped Day 8. Clearly I'm quite good at this. Anyway, I've managed seven days of this so that's gotta count for something haha.


	8. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baze, Chirrut, and three encounters with snow throughout their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 8- Winter.
> 
> Something to note here is that Chirrut doesn't go blind until later in life. I haven't specified how because, well, in canon we don't actually know yet. Please enjoy, and thank you for your kind comments so far. :)

_15 years old._

 

“I wish it would snow,” Chirrut remarked.

To his left, Baze frowned at him. “You know it won't. It's far too dry for that. We're lucky when it rains.”

Chirrut leaned out the window, letting the biting wind ruffle his short hair. Baze didn't even bother telling him to be careful. As he was quickly learning, there was no point. “I know,” Chirrut said into the breeze. “But other planets and moons with permanent winter have snow, Baze. I've read about them. Wouldn't it be nice, to have snow instead of sand?”

“It would be even colder,” Baze said. “Close the window, Chirrut, I'm freezing.”

Chirrut pulled his head back in. His cheeks were flushed and his teeth chattering, but he was grinning all the same. “One day, I will see snow for myself,” he said. “Even if I have to leave Jedha.”

Baze didn't doubt it. When Chirrut got an idea in his head, there was no dissuading him.

“The Guardians will be sad to see you go,” Baze told him. He got to his feet. “Speaking of which, we have a lesson in ten minutes. Are you going to come to this one?”

His friend was a bright student, too bright for his own good. Chirrut had read far beyond what they were learning in classes right now, and Baze knew he was bored. At fifteen, he could debate their teachers on the Force with his eyes closed and he aced nearly all of their trials. Baze often dreaded what Chirrut would be like when they were older and truly Guardians of the Whills. He would likely try and argue with the pilgrims who came to the city over the nature of the dark side.

Chirrut was considering his question. “If you're going, I will too,” he decided, and all talk of snow seemed to be forgotten as they left the room.

_20 years old._

Baze was dreaming of sandstorms.

In his dream, the sandstorm roared toward Jedha city, blowing open windows and sweeping sand into every corner of the city. The sand was strange, though. When Baze ran his hand through it, it was as cold as ice. It melted on his fingers and Baze awoke feeling confused.

It was still dark outside. Baze frowned as he realized that part of his dream had come true- his window had blown open at some point during the night. Shivering, he got up to close it. As he drew closer, he frowned.

The sky outside looked... odd. The backdrop of black was dotted with specks of white, lazily floating to the ground. It wasn't rain. It wasn't a sandstorm. It was-

Baze's eyes widened as he reached a hand out the open window, towards a sight he'd only seen in holofilms.

A speck of white landed on his hand. It had just began to melt when another took it's place, then another.

It was snowing.

His first thought was, _Stars, it's beautiful._

His seconds was, _Chirrut is sleeping right through this._

Baze threw his window closed and walked quickly from his room, up the hall and down the stairs to Chirrut's quarters. His footsteps rang in the corridors and he knew he was making too much noise for the late hour, but thankfully none of the other inhabitants of the Temple came to see what the racket was about.

He came to a halt in front of Chirrut's door and knocked. He waited for a moment, but there was no answer. Feeling daring, he knocked louder. “Chirrut! Wake up!”

The was a rustling noise from in the room before the door opened to reveal his disgruntled friend. “Baze? What is it?”

In answer, Baze pointed to the window behind Chirrut. “Look.”

Chirrut turned around. Baze watched as he took a second to register the sight before him before running to the window. He stood there silently for a long moment, just drinking in the view.

They were twenty, not fifteen anymore, but Chirrut's expression as he faced Baze again reminded him of a child's joy, uncomplicated in it's happiness. Baze smiled, though that smile turned startled as Chirrut grabbed his hand and tugged him out the door.

“Come on!”

“Where are you _going_?”

“Outside,” Chirrut called, as if it was obvious. They were running through the halls now, and Baze winced. This was a sacred place, and it had been drilled into him for as long as he could remember- no running in the Temple of the Kyber.

Still, he allowed himself to be pulled along, because Chirrut would go with or without him, and Baze always figured Chirrut would get into less trouble if he was there too. They raced down the winding stairs, through the echoing halls and out one of the lesser guarded doors into the courtyard.

It was colder than usual. The wind whipped across their faces and pulled at their tunics, and Baze found himself wishing he'd had the foresight to bring a cloak. But, as he looked around at the courtyard at the thin layer of white that had began to blanket their surroundings, he stopped feeling the cold. It was replaced by a sense of breathtaking wonder.

Chirrut was staring up at the sky. He looked more at peace than Baze had ever seen him.

“You were right,” Chirrut said. He glanced at Baze, a small smile on his face. “It's colder when it snows.”

Chirrut had also remembered that conversation from years ago. Baze wasn't surprised.

“You were right as well, my friend,” he replied. “This _is_ better than sand.”

“Why were you awake at this hour anyway?”

“I had a dream,” Baze said. “There was a storm of freezing sand. When I woke, my window was open and it was snowing.”

Chirrut's smile grew wider. “Then for us to be out here is the will of the Force.”

He wasn't wrong. But still. “I will leave you to explain that to our teachers if we are caught.”

They didn't speak after that. It didn't seem right, to break the spell of the moment. The snow seemed to mute all outside noises and the world around them was still and dreamlike. They walked around the courtyard, letting the quiet wash over them.

It was almost like meditation. Baze thought he might prefer this.

It occurred to Baze after a while that Chirrut hadn't let go of his hand. To his surprise, he found he didn't mind. He considered saying something, and then immediately decided against it. It wasn't the right time.

Maybe later.

“You are thinking too much,” Chirrut said comfortably. He readjusted his grip, but didn't let go.

“One of us has to,” Baze said. “Have you thought about how we're going to cover up these tracks?” He nodded to the courtyard ground, which was covered in footprints.

“This snow will be gone in a few hours,” Chirrut replied. “Enjoy it while it lasts, Baze.”

For once, Baze decided to take his advice.

_30 years old._

“I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.”

“Chirrut.”

A slight nod to indicate he was listening.

“Come with me.”

“Not now.”

Not now. Some other time. No. Those had been frequent answers for the last three months. Chirrut spent most of his time meditating, praying, and listening to old religious recordings, to the point where Baze was concerned for his wellbeing. He knew some of their elders were as well.

Chirrut had lost his sight, and Baze had lost Chirrut.

There was a distance between them that hadn't been there before. While what happened to Chirrut had pushed him closer to the Force and what he believed, it had pushed Baze further away. How, he wondered, could the Force have let Chirrut be blinded? If the Force truly was with them all, how could that have happened?

Chirrut's answer was always the same. Nothing happened by accident. If it was the will of the Force for him to lose his sight, then he would accept that.

Baze wondered who he was trying to convince.

Today, though, today he wanted to put their arguments aside, to forget that growing distance. If only Chirrut would let them.

“In an hour, your teachings will still be here,” he said. “Come.” _Please,_ he added silently.

Chirrut seemed to consider this without actually looking at him. “For once, you are here with no heavy feelings,” he said. “This alone makes me curious.”

Baze waited. He would not be drawn into a debate today.

Chirrut got to his feet, leaning a bit on his staff. “Lead the way.”

They left the meditation chamber and walked through the halls of the Temple of the Kyber. Baze found his thoughts returning to a simpler time. A time before the clone wars and hardship had aged them. A time when he still wholeheartedly believed in everything this Temple stood for. He was still a proud Guardian, who would protect the Temple, the knowledge kept there, and the crystals for as long as he was able.

That simpler time was long gone. But some things remained the same.

The young Guardian and Disciple initiates walked by as fast as they could without outright running. That was familiar, as was the sing-song of prayer coming from deeper within the Temple. The other Guardians greeted Baze and Chirrut warmly as they passed.

“Good morning,” called Sarsei Avera. “You two going out?”

“Good morning,” returned Baze. “Yes, we are.”

“Are we?” Chirrut said neutrally. Sarsei laughed, throwing a knowing look Baze's way.

“Enjoy your day,” she said. “May the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you,” Chirrut echoed, and they continued on.

“You're being unusually quiet,” Baze commented as they entered the main hall.

“Will asking questions grant me answers?”

“No.”

“Then that is why.”

They were at the front doors now. Baze pushed one of them open, feeling strangely hesitant. If he had made the wrong call here, he wasn't sure what he would do. “Here is your answer.”

It didn't snow often on Jedha.

Though the moon was stuck in a permanent winter, it was simply too dry for anything but bitter cold. The desert was frigid, but bare. Most people considered it a miracle if they saw snow more than once in their lives, reminiscing fondly on that one day they were lucky enough to experience it.

Baze considered himself a fortunate man in that he got to see Chirrut experience it twice.

He could see it on his face- Chirrut knew as soon as the door opened what Baze intended to show him. He couldn't see the snowflakes swirling down before him, but he could feel the tiny crystals stinging his face, hear the crunch of the powder beneath his boots.

Baze had forgotten what it felt like. But Chirrut was smiling, a real smile, for the first time in far too long.

“An hour isn't going to be long enough,” he said. “I'm afraid you're stuck with me for the rest of the day.”

“If you insist,” Baze replied with a small smile of his own. He knew Chirrut would hear it in his voice.

Chirrut took the lead now, down the steps of the Temple. He walked slowly, taking in everything around him. “Tell me what you see.”

“You already know what snow looks like,” Baze said, uncomprehending.

“I didn't ask what the snow looks like,” said Chirrut. “I asked what _you_ see.”

Baze looked around, trying to find the right words. “The roofs look like they've been painted white. All of them.” His gaze swept across the city he'd known all his life, the city that suddenly looked so different. “The snow on the roads is turning brown. There are footprints everywhere, of all shapes and sizes.” Something glinting in the weak sun caught his eyes. “And there are icicles on the roof of the Dome of Deliverance.”

“Icicles,” Chirrut said with interest. “We didn't get icicles last time.”

Last time. That night, over ten years ago, that felt almost like a dream. “Last time, the snow was gone by the next morning,” Baze reminded him. “It was different.”

“Yes.” Chirrut tapped his staff on the steps in front of him as they descended into Jedha city. “Things are much different now. You have a beard now, for one. And I can't see.”

Baze still wasn't used to hearing it said that bluntly. “I wasn't sure if you would like this,” he said suddenly. “If you would think me ignorant for bringing you to something you cannot see for yourself.”

“Some things are still the same,” Chirrut said. “I still like the snow. And you still think too much.”

“One of us has to,” Baze grumbled, but he didn't object when Chirrut took his hand. It wasn't something they did often, but it appeared that Chirrut too, was feeling nostalgic.

They walked hand in hand into the city in comfortable silence, the snow falling around them. For the first time, Baze had hope that they would be alright.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been the truest test of my writing skills so far, because I had to make Chirrut's love and enjoyment of snow sound convincing while simultaneously glaring out the window as the snow fell on my yard. Also, it didn't start snowing until I began writing this, and I'm halfway convinced I summoned a snow demon with my writing. Anyway. That's day 8!


	9. Flaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For all his talk of Anakin's flaws, Obi-Wan had not realized his own. Not until it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 9- Flaw.

Obi-Wan didn't sleep well. Not anymore.

Instead, he thought back to every time he could have done something, _anything,_ to prevent Anakin's fall. Things he could have said, actions he could have taken. It wasn't the Jedi way to dwell on the past, but there were no more Jedi left to tell him that.

He lay staring at the ceiling in his Tatooine hut, running conversation after conversation through his mind. Interspersed with those conversations were flashes of his dead friends.

Aayla Secura. Plo Koon. Mace Windu. Garen Muln. Bant Erin. Ki-Adi Mundi. Padme.

The _younglings_ -

All killed because he hadn't seen the warning signs.

The hints of the darkness within Anakin had always been there. As the Clone Wars dragged on, those hints had become more and more obvious. He still had his good days, days where he and Obi-Wan would exchange banter as they fought, days where Anakin would smile in the mess hall over breakfast before they shipped out, but the darkness crept ever closer.

On Mortis, Anakin had slipped. He'd turned to the dark side, joined the Son. He stood idly by as Obi-Wan was tortured with Sith lightning, gave Obi-Wan an apologetic look, then got on his speeder and flew away without a second glance.

That had been a taste of what to come. And still, Obi-Wan told himself that what happened on Mortis would never happen again.

Anakin's Padawan hadn't been so sure. He remembered a conversation they had shortly after Mortis, in the hangar of the Resolute.

_“Master Kenobi? May I have a word?”_

_“Of course, Ahsoka. What is it?”_

Ahsoka had been hesitant. _“It's about Anakin. Mortis was... confusing, Master. There were tricks, and visions, and I still don't know how much of it was real.”_

She'd given him a look then, full of dread and worry.

_“But Anakin turned to the dark side. That was real, I felt it.”_

Even now, he remembered the chills those words had given him. He'd reassured her, hiding his own worry.

_“It_ was _real. But Anakin was being manipulated by the Son; we all were. The Son showed Anakin something, a possible future. Something that he thought was so terrible, he himself turned to the dark side to avoid.”_

_“How?”_ Ahsoka had been troubled. _“How could he make that choice?”_ Her gaze lowered. _“And... would he make it again, if he felt he had to?”_

And Obi-Wan gave Ahsoka an answer that he'd somehow convinced himself was true.

_“I don't think he would. Anakin was not in his right mind on Mortis- he was under the Son's influence, in a place where the Dark Side thrived. The Anakin you and I know would never have even considered joining the Son. His mind had been twisted.”_

_“And he was alone,”_ Ahsoka said. She sighed. _“We never should have been separated. That was our first mistake.”_

That was their first mistake back then, and then again as the Clone Wars drew to a close. The two of them, scattered to the corners of the war, while the shadows crept up to Anakin on Coruscant. Could they have changed things, he wondered, if they'd been there with Anakin at the end?

_“I agree.”_ Obi-Wan had replied. _“There are lessons we can take from this experience, Ahsoka. Anakin feels things very strongly. It's a flaw, but it can also be a strength. Yes, he joined the Son, but he also saved us both in that arena. There is light and dark in all of us, but what defines us is which one we choose.”_

Anakin chose the darkness and it had consumed him. And for his talk of Anakin's flaws, Obi-Wan had not realized his own. Not until it was too late.

He had loved Anakin too much to see who he was becoming. He'd blinded himself to the reality forming in front of him. Although he recognized the darkness within Anakin, had seen it since he was a child, in all of his naivety, he'd believed Anakin could beat it.

It was, perhaps, a small flaw in some. But it had cost Obi-Wan everything.

He closed his eyes. The memory had one last thing for him.

Ahsoka, looking across the hangar, to where Anakin was playfully arguing with Artoo over some mechanic tools.

Anakin, smiling at Artoo and affectionately patting his dome before returning to work on his starfighter.

Ahsoka, with a smile of her own. _“He's a good man, Master Kenobi.”_

And himself, finding his worries chased away by the normality of the moment. _“Yes. He is.”_

Now, Anakin and Ahsoka were gone, lost to the war. Instead he had this:

The rising Tatooine suns, chasing the shadows from the walls of his homestead.

The call of a krayt dragon, far out in Beggars Canyon.

Empty memories, that served as reminders of his fatal flaw.

And a hope for the future, growing up close by.

 


	10. Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving the Jedi Order, Ahsoka wanders the streets of Coruscant, questioning everything. And then she meets a little boy in a train station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 10- Dream.

To walk through the streets of Coruscant and realize that her lifelong dream was over was an unsettling feeling.

It had been her singular goal since she was old enough to understand it- to become a Jedi Knight. To be like Master Yoda, or Master Plo. To stand tall and represent the Jedi Order as a Knight, not an Initiate, or a Padawan.

She'd dreamed for so long about hearing _Master Tano_ instead of _Padawan Tano_. And now she wasn't even a Padawan.

She was just... Ahsoka Tano.

The thought was almost frightening.

She didn't know where to go, or what to do next. Part of her wanted to run back to the Jedi Temple, to safety, except that even the Temple wasn't _safe_ anymore.

That was all she was certain of. She couldn't stay there any longer, not after what had happened. The betrayal of those she had considered her family hurt worse than any battle wound ever had.

And yet, it broke her heart to walk away.

She trudged through Coruscant's crowded streets, arms wrapped around herself. She felt exposed without her lightsabers. Her lekku seemed bare without the chain that signified her status as a Padawan swinging from her montrals. The clothing she wore that was traditional for Jedi of her species itched against her skin in a way it never had before.

Who was she, without her status as a Jedi? It had been so tightly woven into her identity from the time she was a child that to think of herself as separate from them made her chest hurt.

Ahsoka never once imagined that she'd be anything but a Jedi Knight. And now that was the one thing that she would never become.

Up ahead was a train station. This is where her experience as a Jedi would come in handy- Ahsoka knew the train routes through the upper levels of Coruscant like the back of her hand. This station was the closest stop to Coruscant's enormous floating parks. Ahsoka had heard of them, but never had the chance to see one for herself before.

Maybe some fresh air and meditation would clear her mind. At the very least, the parks would be less crowded than the narrow streets of Level 5115.

Ahsoka bought a ticket with a few of the credits she'd taken with her when she left the Temple and sat on a bench to wait for the train. She couldn't help closing her eyes for a few minutes. It had been a while since she'd had a good night's rest.

Maybe she could sleep in the parks tonight. Coruscant never got cold enough for hypothermia to be an issue and, she thought with a bitter smile, she'd gained some experience lately in evading the watchful eye of Coruscant's security forces.

“Mikah! Mikah, stay away from there!”

Ahsoka was jarred from her thoughts by a frantic voice and the sound of approaching footsteps. She opened her eyes as a Twilek raced by her. Instantly alert, she jumped to her feet, scanning her surroundings for possible danger. Nothing immediately stood out to her except...

There was a little Twilek boy playing with a speeder toy at the very end of the train platform. He looked up to see the woman racing toward him, let out a shriek of laughter and bolted away, waving his toy in front of him.

He thought they were playing chase, Ahsoka realized. But he was so close to the edge that one misstep and he was going to fall off the platform.

It was a very, very long way down.

_Go,_ her instincts urged her. And Jedi or not, she was halfway across the station before she even knew what she was doing.

Ahsoka ran, moving through the crowd fluidly like she had been trained to do all her life. She vaulted a bench and dodged a vendor, keeping her eyes fixed on the child. _Just a little longer,_ she willed the boy, but between one step and the next, she knew she wasn't going to get there in time. Mikah tripped over his too-big shoes and Ahsoka watched his toy disappear over the edge as he threw his arms out, trying to catch his balance. It didn't work. His arms windmilled wildly as his feet lost contact with the platform and he began to fall.

In that moment, several things happened at once.

The Twilek mother cried out in horror, still a few yards away. Several people nearby began to turn at the sound, and the volume of the crowd increased as they realized what was happening.

And, as easy as breathing, Ahsoka reached out with the Force.

Mikah froze, suspended in the air beside the platform.

There was a comical look of shock on his face as he looked around him and Ahsoka nearly smiled, keeping one hand outstretched. She distantly recognized that some of the onlookers were gasping, but most of her concentration was directed toward keeping Mikah airborne. She was preparing to pull him back to safety when the he looked directly at her.

Mikah did smile, then. The Force moved around him, through him and Ahsoka felt a jolt of surprise at the _connection_ she felt with this child. A Force presence joined her own and she realized that he was trying to _help_ her save him.

He was Force sensitive, too.

The ache in her chest was back.

Ahsoka set him down gently, away from the edge, and he stumbled straight into his tearful mother's arms to the sound of onlooker applause. She picked the boy up and held him close, alternating between prayers of thanks that he was okay and stern admonishments to him for frightening her like that. Ahsoka took note of her technician uniform and nametag that read _Freyaa._ In one hand she held a child's pack. She was simply a working mother, picking her child up from school, and instead a routine had almost turned into disaster.

Finally, Freyaa looked up at Ahsoka over his head with a watery smile.

“You saved his life. Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” Ahsoka said warmly. She hesitated, looking around. With the excitement gone, the crowd had dispersed and nobody was paying attention to them anymore. “Your son is... very gifted.”

Those words changed Freyaa's entire demeanour.

Her smile dropped and her slender frame grew tense. The colour drained from her face. Holding Mikah closer, she shrunk back, shaking her head. Her eyes were very wide. “Please,” she begged, “please, you cannot take him.”

The ache in Ahsoka's chest grew.

Of course she had assumed Ahsoka was a Jedi. There were no other Force users in the Republic who performed such feats. Not to mention, it was a Jedi's job to help identify Force-sensitive children.

Mikah, at about four or five, was definitely past the age that Force-sensitive kids were usually brought to the Temple. Ahsoka wondered how he had been missed by the Jedi. The Order kept track of all Force-sensitive babies born in the Republic and it was rare for a child to fall through the cracks.

“Do the Jedi know he's Force-sensitive?” she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.

“No,” whispered Freyaa. “I forged new midichlorian test results when he was born. Please don't take him. He's my son.”

Mikah, who had been perfectly unfazed until this point, sensed his mother's fear and began to cry. He clung to her, hiding his face in her chest.

A train whistled in the distance. Ahsoka barely heard it.

She stared at them, torn. It was the _law,_ all Force-sensitive children born in the Republic were to be brought to the Jedi Order. It was better for everyone- for the children, who would feel more at home with others like them, and for the parents, who couldn't train their powerful kids to control their abilities.

But...

It hadn't been better for her.

How could she bring a child back to the Jedi, when she had left for a reason? Could she, in good conscious, separate this boy from his mother, when she was still reeling from the hurt of leaving her own family?

Ahsoka looked into Freyaa's wide blue eyes and found herself thinking of Anakin.

She crouched down in front of the terrified pair. “Hey,” she said, as gently as she could. “Mikah. Can you look at me?”

The boy glanced at her, warily.

“Do you know what a Jedi is?”

“Yes,” Mikah said.

“Would you like to become a Jedi?”

“No, thank you.” There was no hesitation.

Ahsoka Tano had dreamed of becoming a Jedi Knight for as long as she could remember. But that dream was not for everyone.

“Alright, then,” she said simply. “What _do_ you want to be?”

Mikah's eyes lit up. “A pilot,” he said enthusiastically. “I'm going to be the best pilot ever.”

That enthusiasm was familiar. She remembered feeling the same way as a child, confident that she was going to be one of the greatest Jedi the Order had ever seen.

Ahsoka smiled.

“I'm sure you will,” she told Mikah. Then she raised her eyes to his mother, who was staring at her with a kind of terrified hope. “Well, my train is here. But it was nice meeting both of you.”

“I- thank you,” Freyaa breathed. “ _Thank you._ ”

Ahsoka tapped Mikah on the nose and stood. She began to walk away, then turned back one last time. “May the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you!” Mikah called back happily.

The smile stayed on her face as she boarded her train. Ahsoka was no longer a Jedi, that was true. She didn't know what her future held. But she had secured the future of that little boy, and the ache in her chest had eased, just a bit.

As it turned out, the Force _was_ still with her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only a half hour too late don't judge me


	11. Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After discovering her true parentage, Rey is hurt and confused. Artoo has something to show her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 11- Child

She stumbled back into the Millennium Falcon, heartsick and half blinded by tears.

All this time. All this time, she'd been looking for answers, hoping that her family would come back for her and meanwhile _he'd_ been hiding here on this _miserable_ island-

Rey almost ran into Chewbacca as he emerged from the main hold. He took one look at her stricken face and growled a concerned question.

“No,” Rey said. “I'm not alright. In fact, I think it's time to go.”

Chewbacca glanced behind her, as if expecting to see Luke coming up the boarding ramp any second. He barked another question.

What about Luke. Hah.

“He can stay here and rot, if that's what he wants,” Rey said, suddenly fierce. “We don't need him.”

Chewie looked hesitant now, and Rey was struck with a horrible sinking feeling. Had... had he known? Had _Han?_ Had everyone known all this time and just not told her?

“You knew, didn't you,” she breathed. “All along. You knew that Luke... that Luke was my father.”

Saying it out loud just made it hurt worse.

Chewbacca was silent a moment longer. _“I suspected,”_ he admitted. _“I wasn't sure.”_

Rey's knees didn't seem to want to support her own weight anymore. She walked past Chewie into the main hold, then sank down onto the old padded bench. Artoo whistled from the far side of the room and she could distantly hear Chewie telling him that no, Rey hadn't convinced Luke to come with them.

Of course Luke wouldn't come with them. He was an old coward who hadn't been able to commit to having a daughter, let alone fighting a war.

She stared down at the lightsaber, still clutched in her hands. Distantly, she was aware that her cheeks were wet.

Chewie came around the table and sat beside her, close enough to be comforting, yet far enough to give her space. _“What did Luke tell you?”_

“He didn't tell me anything.” Rey set the lightsaber on the table. “I had a vision.”

 

_“Nice lightsaber,” the ghost commented as Rey stared. “I never thought I'd see that thing again.”_

_“Who are you?”_

_“The first owner of that lightsaber. I built it, a long time ago.”_

_“You're Luke's father,” Rey realized._

_“Anakin Skywalker,” the ghost said. “It's good to finally meet you, Rey.”_

_“How do you know who I am?”_

_Anakin Skywalker glanced around the caves. The light coming from above seemed to filter right through him. “How did you get that lightsaber?”_

_“I- I found it,” Rey said. “It was in a castle, on Takodana. I'm sorry, it doesn't really belong to me.”_

_“Wrong,” Anakin said. “It does belong to you. Consider it a family heirloom, if you'd like.”_

_Rey blinked. “What?”_

_“That lightsaber. It called to you on Takodana, Rey. Did you ever wonder why that was?”_

_Rey's heart was beating faster now. “Don't- don't all lightsabers do that, if you have the Force?”_

_Anakin shook his head. “Having a connection with a lightsaber is rare. But that connection can be passed down through generations.”_

_Passed down through generations? But the last person to own this lightsaber was-_

_Rey gripped the handle of the saber with trembling hands. “What are you saying?”_

_“The Force is strong in my family, Rey,” Anakin told her. “I have it. My daughter has it. My son has it. And... his daughter has it too.”_

 

Chewie rumbled a sympathetic sound. _“Did you tell Luke about the vision?”_

Yes _._ She'd raced from the cave, to where Luke was waiting outside, demanded to know if the ghost was telling the truth.

And Luke had stared at her, looking older than she'd ever seen him, and slowly nodded.

“Rey,” he'd begun, but Rey shook her head, backing away.

“You left me,” she said. “You _left_ me there-” and found that she couldn't speak around the lump in her throat. Suddenly, even looking at Luke was too much for her.

So she'd left him standing at the mouth of the caves, just as he had abandoned her as a child.

“Yes,” she told Chewbacca now. “It was true.”

 _“I'm sorry,”_ Chewbacca said. _“We should have said something.”_

 _Luke_ should have said something, the moment she showed up on the island days ago. But she appreciated the sentiment.

“I just don't understand,” she whispered. “I don't understand _why._ He told me that Kylo Ren destroyed the Jedi six years ago. I've been on Jakku since I was a little girl, long before then. Why did- did he not _want_ me?”

It wasn't hard to believe. He certainly didn't want her now.

There was a sad beep from Artoo across the room. The little droid wheeled forward, coming to a halt in front of Rey. He whistled- _[Can I show you something?]_

“Alright,” Rey said, surprised. “Go on, then.”

Artoo projected a hologram in front of them, and Rey leaned forward to see better.

There was a baby holding onto a chair. She was maybe nine months old, with dark hair and round cheeks. She was grinning up at someone out of the shot, and then Luke dropped to his knees in frame. He looked much younger- his hair was clearly blonde, not grey, and there were not yet lines of stress and grief written into his face.

He was also smiling, something Rey had never seen him do before.

“Rey!” Luke called, and Rey jumped. “Rey, come here!”

The baby giggled, still holding onto the chair, and Rey slowly brought a hand up to her mouth as she realized what she was watching.

“I dunno Luke, she seems pretty attached to that chair,” someone who sounded like Han said in the background.

“She can do it,” Luke said firmly. “Today is going to be the day, I can feel it. Rey!”

He reached out for baby Rey, who shuffled her feet, looking torn between staying upright and trying to walk to Luke. She took a tiny step, still holding onto the chair, and Luke lit up. He continued to encourage her, and with a toothless smile, baby Rey finally let go and took four rapid steps before falling into Luke's arms.

Present-day Rey stifled a sob.

“See? I told you!” Luke exclaimed. “I told you she could! That's my girl, proving everyone wrong. She'll be using a lightsaber in no time.”

He picked up baby Rey and stood, praising her, and then he could be heard saying, “did you get that, Artoo?”

Artoo from eighteen years ago beeped a happy affirmative, and the recording ended there.

For a moment, all was quiet in the Millennium Falcon, apart from Rey's ragged breathing.

The warmth and love she'd seen in that video was what she had been craving for as long as she could remember. Praise and encouragement from her _father_... to know that she'd had that once, if only for a short time, filled her with bittersweet happiness. She blinked away tears and took a deep breath.

“Thank you,” she whispered to Artoo. “Just... thank you.”

Artoo trilled.

 _“Luke didn't leave you on Jakku,”_ Chewbacca told her. _“You were stolen from him as a child. Not many people even knew Luke Skywalker had a daughter, but someone found out and took you.”_

 _Kidnapped?_   Rey frowned. She... didn't remember that. She remembered begging someone to return for her as Unkar Plutt dragged her into Niima Outpost. She remembered watching a ship fly away.

But... she didn't remember who had been in the ship. And that was one of her earliest memories.

Artoo chimed in. _[We never knew who did it, or why they left you on Jakku, but your father spent years looking for you.]_

Those words sent a strange feeling through her. _Your father._

She knew who her father was, now. He wasn't what she had expected or wanted, but he was still family.

Luke had changed from the man he'd been in the hologram. He wasn't encouraging, or especially kind. He was gruff, scarred and carried a deep sense of pain. But Rey was slowly realizing that this was a man who had lost everything and felt he had nothing left to give to the galaxy.

She couldn't just leave him. Not now.

“I should probably get back,” she said to Chewbacca and Artoo. Chewbacca shrugged nonchalantly but Rey could tell he was relieved. “Thank you both. For everything.”

 _[You Skywalkers,]_ Artoo beeped _, [ always so dramatic. But don't worry. He'll come around.]_

Rey restocked her bag with food, bid her companions goodbye and set off up the mountain again. She hiked slowly- she had a lot to think about before she made it back to Luke.

“Rey Skywalker,” she tried out loud. It echoed off the rock, an endless refrain of her true identity.

It was strange and new. The full weight of what it meant to be a Skywalker hadn't truly sunk in yet.

But it felt like belonging.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For ten entire days I had /no idea/ what to do with this prompt. And then I woke up today and this idea leaped fully formed into my head.


	12. Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not how Ahsoka wants to die. Set just after the Temple closes in Twilight of the Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 12- Destiny

 

The Sith Temple walls were closed. The weapon had been disabled. Maul was likely dead. And Kanan and Ezra were safe- as safe as they could be.

Ahsoka should have been satisfied with that outcome. She should have been able to distance herself from her feelings, to accept that her time was finally up. And maybe, if she was a Jedi, she could have.

But she was not a Jedi. And she was angry.

When she was younger, she'd often wondered about destiny. At first, she'd thought it her destiny to become a Jedi Knight, to take a Padawan of her own and help the galaxy. Later, she thought maybe her destiny was to help take down the Empire as an informant.

And then she realized that she was confusing dreams with destiny, and that those were not the same thing.

Was _this_ her destiny, then? To attempt to reach the humanity in Vader and fail? To halt him so that the last of the Jedi could escape? To die staring into the yellow and cold eye of her former Master as the energy built and crackled around them?

Because if the Temple explosion didn't kill her, Vader would. Of that, she was quite certain.

Ahsoka blocked another swing with all of her strength. Then she parried another. She made every effort not to look into the crack in the mask, focusing merely on staying alive. Vader's raspy breathing was like a drum in her ears, a horrible, eerie, broken drum backed by the sparking of the weapon behind her.

Perhaps she'd been fooling herself, to think that Vader could be redeemed.

But he'd said her name.

He'd looked at her with Anakin's eyes. And she'd thought, just for a moment, that _maybe-_

She'd been wrong. And now she had to deal with the consequences.

She was so focused on the fight that it took a while for the realization to sink it. It happened gradually, swing by swing, blow by blow.

This was easier than it had been.

Vader was no longer attacking with his full strength. He was blocking her swings and striking back, but the intense fury that had driven his blows earlier had dissipated. The way they were fighting now reminded her of practise duels from so many years ago.

It was as if he was simply... stalling.

Hardly daring to breathe, Ahsoka looked up at his face.

In the blinding purple light, it was difficult to tell that his eye was yellow and not blue. He was no longer glaring at her with the intent to kill. Rather, he looked like she felt.

_Resigned._

Neither of them would be swayed from their chosen paths. But Ahsoka didn't know if she had it in her to strike a killing blow. Could Vader, despite the hundreds and hundreds of other beings he'd slaughtered, feel the same?

He was a solid wall of darkness in the Force, that hadn't changed. But she could still read his body language and she knew that they had come to the same decision. They would not kill the other, but let the will of the Force take shape.

This may not have been Anakin, but she wasn't entirely sure it was Vader either.

Ahsoka made a split second choice. She ducked away, gathered the Force and pushed Vader as far as she could from the crackling weapon. She then dove the other way, covering her head, but she hadn't even landed on the ground when the buildup became too much to contain.

With a tremendous roar, the Temple exploded. A blast of energy blew out from the weapon and Ahsoka was slammed against the far wall, unable to move with the force of it.

The last thing she saw before the walls toppled and she fell from the Temple was her former Master, engulfed in purple light. She felt strangely at peace now.

The Force would decide their fates.

 


	13. Look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan can communicate with just a look. This is an everlasting annoyance to their peers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 13- Look

“The right tunnel is a dead end and the left tunnel is blocked,” Ahsoka reported, returning to the group. “There must have been a cave in. There's no getting around it.”

“A cave in?” Anakin frowned, pulling up their map of the caves. “That wasn't part of the plan.”

“I'm afraid it's part of the plan now,” Obi-Wan said. “Any ideas?”

Ahsoka blew on her hands. The ice caves of Iralon were not the best place to get lost, or stuck. They were freezing, narrow, and not to mention, confusing. The ice was so shiny it was almost like a mirror, making it look like there were three times as many tunnels. They'd been relying on the map of the caves so far, but if they had to stray from it's path, they could get into some serious trouble.

“Sir,” Cody said to Obi-Wan. “Directly below us is another tunnel. If we could cut down to it, we could take that route instead. It would take much longer to reach our destination, but it would be possible.”

“And there's another one through the wall to our right,” Rex put in. “It's a lot faster, but we'd have to cut directly through an Ire-Wolf den.”

“Whatever we're going to do, we'd better decide quickly,” Kix said. “It's gonna get a lot colder in here once the sun goes down.”

“How much longer would your route take us, Cody?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Approximately two hours, sir.”

Ahsoka winced. That was cutting it way too close to their deadline. But did they dare sneak through a den of Ire-Wolves?

Anakin and Obi-Wan exchanged a long look. Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow and Anakin frowned, shaking his head. Obi-Wan stroked his beard and sighed.

“What if we just-” Anakin began.

“Anakin.”

“I know, but think-”

“Yes, but if that goes wrong, we would-”

“Yeah. You're right. What about-”

“No, that's too risky.”

“Cmon, don't you trust me?”

“Yes, and that's what worries me.” Obi-Wan sighed again. “Alright. We'll do it your way.”

“Can you repeat that again in Basic?” Ahsoka said, folding her arms. “Or _any_ language that the rest of us understand?”

Obi-Wan and Anakin glanced her way.

“We're going to take the shortcut through the wolf den,” Obi-Wan said. “The wolves will sleep until dusk, and if we leave now, we should be able to make it through without disturbing them. The three of us can use the Force to help mask our presence.”

That was a solid plan, in Ahsoka's opinion. But it didn't explain how they had come up with that in the space of a look and a half-verbal conversation.

She exchanged a glance with Rex, who seemed as baffled as she felt. Rex shrugged briefly, then snapped to attention. “Alright, men, you heard the General. Where are those laser cutters? It's time to get to work.”

Ahsoka activated her lightsaber to help cut through the ice. She pushed her confusion aside. If the plan worked, she supposed it didn't matter how they came up with it.

 

**

 

Mace Windu was headed to a council meeting when he heard raised voices, just around the corner. He frowned to himself as he realized who was causing the commotion- it was Kenobi and Skywalker, as usual.

“I'm not saying that, Master.”

“Are you certain? I don't think you realize how dangerous that line of thinking is.”

“What is dangerous about bringing security to the Republic?”

“You aren't _listening_ -”

“ _I'm_ not listening?”

“Anakin. One man should not have as much power as the Chancellor has been collecting throughout this war.”

“It's necessary. And he's going to give that power back to the Senate when the war is over.”

“I only hope that you're right.”

“What do you have against the Chancellor, Obi-Wan?”

There was silence after that. Mace, wondering, if they were finally done arguing, stepped around the corner only to be greeted with a staring contest. Kenobi's arms were crossed and Skywalker's mechanical arm was clenched in a fist by his side. If they'd noticed him, they gave no sign.

Skywalker seemed to be searching Kenobi's face for something. After a moment, the fight drained out of him. They broke eye contact and the tension in the air shattered as well.

“Be wary of your feelings, Anakin,” were Kenobi's parting words. The two of them went their separate ways, the Force roiling uneasily around them.

Finally, Kenobi noticed Mace heading toward him. His troubled expression shifted into something more pleasant. “Good evening, Master Windu.”

“Evening,” Mace replied, as neutrally as he could. He didn't know how to bring up their silent communication without revealing that he'd been eavesdropping, so he decided to let it go.

The Force tended to behave strangely around Skywalker. Perhaps this was another one of his quirks.

 

***

 

“Kenobi! Hey man, it's been a while!”

Quinlan grinned his most irritating grin and clapped Kenobi on the shoulder as he came up behind him. Kenobi winced, but hid it well behind a rather pained smile.

“Hello, Vos,” he replied neutrally.

“Ah, and Skywalker, I presume,” Quinlan continued, already moving on to Kenobi's companion. “Good to finally meet you. Kenobi, do we still do introductions on Coruscant? I've forgotten.”

Kenobi looked like he had a bit of a headache. “Quinlan Vos, this is Anakin Skywalker. Anakin, Quinlan Vos. ”

Skywalker was amused. “I've heard about you. Don't you spend most of your time undercover in the Outer Rim? What are you doing on Coruscant?”

“My current target has moved here,” Quinlan replied, “meaning I get a break. Where are the two of you off to next?”

“Anakin is remaining on Coruscant for the time being and I'm heading out to Saleucami,” Kenobi said, sounding not at all sorry to be leaving.

“Ah, too bad,” Quinlan said. “Well, Skywalker, let me know if you have any free time coming up. I have some great stories about your Master, if you want to hear them.”

Skywalker looked delighted. Kenobi glanced back and forth between Skywalker and Quinlan, as if all of his nightmares were coming true at once. “Force help me,” he muttered. “Anakin, don't listen to him.”

Skywalker raised an eyebrow at Kenobi, grinning. Kenobi pressed his lips together and shook his head and Quinlan got the distant impression that he was missing something.

If Kenobi had learned to telepathically communicate and hadn't told Quinlan, they would be having some _words_ later.

“So this is-”

“Yes,” Kenobi said.

“Are you sure I can't-”

“No, Anakin, and if you do, I will know.”

It was like watching a fast-paced gravball game. Quinlan blinked.

“Sorry,” he said, “but that was just creepy.”

“I'm sure I don't know what you mean,” Kenobi said. “I must be off, though. The fleet leaves in an hour.”

“May the Force be with you,” Anakin said. Kenobi nodded, repeated the sentiment, then strode off down the hall.

“What was that about, anyway?” Quinlan said once he was gone. Anakin winced.

“Sorry, Vos,” he said. “As much as I'd love to hear those stories, I think Obi-Wan might actually kill me if I agreed.”

“You guys couldn't have just said that out loud?” Quinlan said incredulously, and Anakin just smirked.

“Now where's the fun in that?” he said, and Quinlan was starting to believe he might have met his match.

He liked this kid.

 

**

 

Anakin knew what people thought.

Some wondered if he or Obi-Wan were telepathic. Others figured it was his enhanced Force abilities. He was pretty sure he had Mace Windu half convinced he was drawing on some dark side power.

In reality, it was none of those things. The simple fact was, that after over ten years of living in each other's pockets, he and Obi-Wan had gotten really good at reading one another.

Anakin knew that a certain frown meant Obi-Wan was tired, just as Obi-Wan knew when Anakin's arm was acting up by the way he curled his fingers. He knew that Obi-Wan would rebuke all efforts of banter by the tone of his voice, and occasionally, Obi-Wan knew he was upset before he himself did.

Of course, the Force helped. Sometimes he found himself on the exact same wavelength as his former Master, and then it was as if they were sharing one mind. Conversations then tended to only be half out loud, which was incredibly confusing to their peers.

To look at Obi-Wan and know what he was thinking was as easy as speaking aloud.

Of course, it did have it's downsides.

“Oh,” Anakin said in surprise as the door to the Temple hangar slid open. “Hello, Master.”

Obi-Wan nodded a greeting. “Where are you off to?”

“Thought I'd take a drive,” Anakin said vaguely. As he'd learned, it was always best to keep as close to the truth as he could.

Obi-Wan's eyebrows creased together- he suspected something. Anakin forced his face to remain impassive. “A drive, at this hour?”

“It's a nice morning,” Anakin replied. It was- and it would be even nicer if he could spent it with his wife. “If you'll excuse me...” He tried to walk through into the hangar, but Obi-Wan still hadn't moved.

“Anakin,” he began, then stopped. He didn't say anything else after that, but Anakin could read the silence well.

It was something he'd been doing for a long time.

_Why won't you tell me what we both know I know?_

Anakin thought about it, just as he did every time they had an encounter like this. He considered coming clean, telling Obi-Wan everything.

It would be so _easy._

And it would ruin everything.

Just as he had every time before that, he sidestepped Obi-Wan, neatly avoiding eye contact.

“I'll see you later.” _I'm sorry._

“Be careful, Anakin.” _So am I._

Anakin and Obi-Wan knew each other well. They were two sides of the same coin, the ultimate team. Everyone knew that.

But sometimes, Anakin reflected as he drove out into the Coruscant morning, it was as if they didn't know each other at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments, I love every single one of them!!


	14. Hideout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin takes Ahsoka on a training mission to Ragoon VI. Ahsoka is resistant at first, but then she discovers why Anakin felt a training mission was necessary in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 14- Hideout
> 
> (This one is over 4000 words someone make me shut up about Anakin and Ahsoka)

Before the clone wars, training missions had been common for Padawans.

Some of Ahsoka's older friends had been on them before. They were most commonly survival trips, where a group of Padawans or a Master/Padawan team were dropped off on a planet with difficult conditions. They were given limited supplies and forced to work together to survive for a certain amount of time.

All the Padawans she'd spoken to seemed to enjoy them, but Ahsoka couldn't understand why Anakin was insisting on a training mission in the middle of the war.

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Master?” Ahsoka asked as Anakin piloted the Republic shuttle down to the planet below. “I mean, is there anything I can learn here that I can't on the front lines? We should be out there, fighting.”

“I'm sure, Ahsoka," Anakin told her. "Besides, Obi-Wan and I did a few of these when I was his Padawan. I wouldn't have brought you here if I didn't think you could learn something from it.”

He guided the ship down and landed it in a wide grassy meadow. “Cmon. Master Santana is waiting for us.”

Ahsoka's first thought as she stepped out of the shuttle and into the fresh air was that Ragoon VI was _beautiful_.

The sky was a bright, brilliant blue, with a few remaining streaks of pink and purple from the sunrise. To the east of the meadow were lush green forests, as far as the eye could see. North of the forest was a range of snowy mountains and to the west there was the distant sound of running water.

“There's no light pollution at all,” Ahsoka said. It felt wrong to speak too loudly in a place as beautiful as this. “How did the Jedi get permission to come here?”

“The Ragoons allow us to come here for training exercises as long as we aren't harming their planet,” Anakin said. “We're guests here, Ahsoka. Be mindful of that during the mission.”

“Yes, Master,” Ahsoka said. “So- what _is_ the mission?”

“Skywalker! Padawan Tano! So good to see you.”

Anakin and Ahsoka both turned. Behind them, a human Jedi was climbing out of her starfighter, slinging a survival pack over her shoulder. She wore a simple black tunic and her hair was cropped short. On her face was a friendly grin and there was energy in her step as she walked toward them. Ahsoka liked her immediately.

“Ahsoka, this is Master Enn Santana,” Anakin said. “Master Santana, this is my apprentice, Ahsoka Tano.”

Ahsoka bowed. “Good to meet you.”

“Thank you for agreeing to do this,” her Master said to Santana, who shook her head.

“It's no trouble, Skywalker.” She raised an eyebrow. “I only hope that the two of you will provide me with a challenge.”

“We'll do our best,” Anakin promised. He turned to Ahsoka. “The mission is simple. Master Santana is going to get a two hour head start. Then, it's our job to track her down. No comlinks, no tracking devices or droids- just the Force.”

“For the younger Padawans, there is a ten day time limit,” Santana put in. “But as you are an older, more experienced Padawan, you'll have only 48 hours to catch me.”

Ahsoka frowned. That was it? No survival training, no fighting anyone? Just... an elaborate game of hide and seek?

“It may sound simple,” Santana said, “but more Master/Padawan teams have failed than succeeded with me as their target. Two days from now, you may wish you'd asked someone else.”

Ahsoka couldn't help it. She had a strong competitive nature and those words lit the fire under her motivation.

“We'll see about that,” she replied confidently, and Santana's grin widened.

“That's the spirit,” she said. “Well, I'm off. May the Force be with you both.”

She disappeared north into the forests, though Ahsoka knew her initial direction didn't mean much. It was incredibly difficult to find a Jedi who did not want to be found.

“Now what?” she asked, looking around the meadow. There weren't war preparations to make, or wounded to tend to, or reports to fill out. There were no briefings to attend, no Council meetings. Nothing broken needed fixing and there was nobody else around.

It was just the two of them.

Ahsoka realized with a bit of a shock, that that didn't happen very often anymore.

Anakin gave her a knowing look, as if he could tell what she was thinking. “Now,” he said, “we wait.”

* * *

 

By the time the two hours were up, Ahsoka was growing impatient. The two of them ate breakfast in the shuttle and Ahsoka had gone over all the information the Temple had to offer about Ragoon VI. There wasn't a lot of it. She supposed that was probably on purpose, so no Padawan could have that much of an advantage.

Just the Force and her Master. This was going to be interesting.

“Alright,” Anakin said, slinging a pack over his shoulder. “Lead the way, Snips.”

Ahsoka ran ahead to the forest treeline, but then slowed as a thought occurred to her.

“Master Santana knew we saw her go this way,” she said. “She's not going to make it that easy.”

“No,” Anakin agreed. “Keep a look out for small clues, both on the ground and in the trees. And remember, trust your feelings.”

Ahsoka walked further into the forest, intently scanning her surroundings. She had spent years training her senses, and that would help her on this mission.

Something about twenty feet into the forest caught her eye. “This branch is cracked,” she called. “Recently, too.” She examined the crack further. “Whoever broke it was going east.”

“So is this branch.” Anakin pointed to a tree in the opposite direction. “But whoever broke this one was headed west.”

“Unless Master Santana has learned to be in two places at once, these weren't her,” Ahsoka said, disappointed. “Or... maybe she's trying to throw us off already?”

“I like your thinking,” Anakin said. “The question is- which way did she go?”

If they chose wrong, they would lose precious time by doubling back. They couldn't afford that, especially at the beginning of this exercise.

Ahsoka scanned the forest floor once again, and this time, noticed something. Just beyond the branch she'd discovered, there was an indent in the dirt. It was faint, barely there, but a Jedi would see it. She knew immediately that the mark had been left by the heel of a boot.

_Gotcha._

“She went west, Master,” Ahsoka said. “Look.”

Anakin studied the indent, then nodded in satisfaction. “Good eye.”

Now that Ahsoka knew what to look for, it became easier. The Jedi Master had left clues for them in the form of disturbed leaves on the forest floor, or flattened grass beside a stream. Sometimes it was as easy as finding a footprint in the mud, sometimes it was as difficult as finding a few crumbs mixed in with the dirt. Santana enjoyed playing mind games, which made the exercise far from boring.

They tracked Santana well into the afternoon, making steady progress, but as the sky began to darken, turning a deep violet colour, the clues became more difficult. With 36 hours left to catch the Jedi, they found themselves lost near the base of the mountains with no clues in sight.

“Great,” Ahsoka said under her breath. The fire under her competitiveness had been doused by frustration. “Now what?”

“Let's keep looking,” Anakin said. “We're missing something.”

 _What we're missing is the war,_ Ahsoka thought. Throughout the day, she had felt uneasy, as if they were wasting time. Now she was even more certain. Why were they out tracking Jedi when they could be tracking separatist war admirals?

“I sense that you're frustrated,” Anakin commented as hour 36 turned into hour 35. “But it's more than that. What's on your mind?”

“Nothing, Master,” Ahsoka said, glancing around the expansive forest for the hundredth time. “Let's keep looking.”

Anakin studied her for a long moment. Then he sat, cross legged on the forest floor and gestured for Ahsoka to join him. Hesitantly, she did, kneeling across from him.

“Shouldn't we keep looking for clues?” she asked.

Anakin nodded, unhurried. “And we will. But first- why do you think I brought you here?”

Ahsoka really didn't know. The training missions were typically for newer Master/Padawan teams, or pairs that were struggling to build trust. She and Anakin didn't fit either of those descriptions so what was the point?

“I'm... not sure,” she admitted, then sighed. “I can't stop thinking about the war. It's been so long since I've been this disconnected from everything happening in the galaxy that it just feels wrong to be here.”

“I understand,” Anakin said. That was one thing she appreciated about her Master- she could voice an insecurity, or a weakness of hers and often she would find not a reprimand from Anakin, but empathy. “But you can't let your life become consumed by the conflict, Ahsoka. That's a dangerous path to walk.”

“We're fighting a war, Master,” Ahsoka replied, leaning forward. “Conflict is our duty.”

“All I mean is, it's okay to take a step back every once in a while. If you keep that line of thinking, you _are_ going to burn out.” Anakin's expression softened. “Even Jedi take breaks occasionally, Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka shook her head, glancing away. The sun filtered through the trees, casting patterns on the mossy forest floor. Distantly, she could hear the musical cry of a niyrino bird.

It was so peaceful, it felt almost foreign.

“I'm... not sure I know how to do that anymore.”

“And I'm sorry I didn't see that sooner,” Anakin said. His tone was steady, but she could feel remorse like a wave in the Force. “But it's why we're here now.”

She understood, then. They weren't here because of a misguided attempt on Anakin's part to try to build trust, or strengthen her skills.

He just wanted them to have some fun for once.

Ahsoka was hit by a sudden sense of guilt for the way she'd acted earlier. She wasn't sure how good she'd be at relaxing, but she resolved to try harder to enjoy herself for the rest of their time on Ragoon VI.

If only they could find the next clue.

The thought had just crossed her mind when something caught her eye. It glinted in the sun, up on a leaf. It was just a small sliver of a thing, but if it was what she thought it was...

Ahsoka sprang up and jogged across the clearing to examine the branch, ignoring Anakin's quizzical expression. She plucked the strand from the leaf and held it up so her Master could see it too.

It was a short, dark, human hair.

Ahsoka and Anakin exchanged triumphant looks. The competitive fire was back and the chase was on.

* * *

 

From there on, it was easier for Ahsoka to appreciate Ragoon VI as it was meant to be for the Jedi- a hideout from the galaxy around them. The missions were intended as a break from the intense lives the Jedi led, a way of both learning and bonding. They were also supposed to be fun.

And Ahsoka was finally having fun.

The clock continued to tick down in the back of her mind, but she wasn't feeling the pressure. There was no danger on this world, and it was nice to focus on a task without worrying about being shot at, or blown up, or attacked.

It was also different to work with her Master on a task that wasn't a life and death situation. The sense of urgency was gone and their banter took on a more playful tone. Of course, the two of them couldn't help turning it into a competition. As much as they were working together to track down Santana, they were also competing to see who could find more clues.

“Look, over there! See how that tree has smudged sap on the left side? She went this way.”

“I...noticed that first. I was waiting to see if you would catch on.”

“Of course, Master. 5-7 to me.”

They took a six-hour break for sleep when it got too dark to see anymore and Ahsoka almost walked directly into an animal den. As they built a fire, Anakin told Ahsoka the story of how he'd made the same mistake when he came here with Obi-Wan as a Padawan.

“The malia are ferocious,” he told her. “When Obi-Wan and I encountered a pack, it was the middle of the day. They fought hard, but gave up quickly. If it had been at night, we wouldn't have been so lucky. If you'd walked in there and put them on our trail, we would have been in some serious trouble.”

“I thought this was supposed to be a peaceful planet,” Ahsoka said. “Whatever happened to, ' _Even Jedi take breaks sometimes, Ahsoka'_? _”_

“Jedi usually know better than to walk into animal dens.”

“ _You_ didn't.”

Anakin looked very much like he regretted telling her that story.

At dawn, they packed up their things and continued the search. Santana had led them from lush green forests into a deep valley with a wide river. They would avoid crossing it if they could- Ahsoka had seen an enormous, dark, scaly fin emerge from it's waves and she wasn't in a hurry to get up close and personal with whatever it belonged to.

“I've been thinking,” Anakin said as they walked along the riverbank. “Whoever gets close enough to Master Santana to end the exercise should get five extra points.”

“You're just saying that because you're three points behind,” Ahsoka accused. She was faster and lighter than Anakin, but he had more tactical knowledge than she did. “No deal.”

“Cmon, Snips, you're winning right now anyway,” Anakin pushed. “Who has more to lose here?”

“Technically? I do,” Ahsoka said. “But, I can already tell that you aren't going to let this go, so... fine. Five extra points to whoever gets a lightsabers' length away from Master Santana.”

Anakin looked satisfied. That was never a good thing. “Ah- there's a heel indent in the mud over there. 8-10.”

Ahsoka scowled to herself. She would have to try harder.

The sun rose higher in the cloudless sky and slowly, Anakin made their score even. 9-10, then 9-11 as Ahsoka found a tread mark on a fallen leaf, then 10-11 as Anakin pointed out a drying footprint on a rock. Ahsoka's good eye made it 10-12, then Anakin found the next two clues and by the time there were 14 hours left, it was 13-13.

Anakin looked frustrated as they began the climb out of the valley and up one of the mountains. “If we don't find her by nightfall, we'll have to wait until daybreak again,” he said. “And that will give us just three hours to finish this mission.”

“We can do it,” Ahsoka said confidently. “Did you see that last footprint? It was fresh. We must be catching up.”

Anakin began to reply, but whatever he was going to say was interrupted by a flock of niyrino birds taking off from the woods, about a kilometre east.

“Something startled them,” Ahsoka said. “It's too early for the malia to be hunting yet. Do you think-”

“Santana finally made a mistake.” There was a glint in Anakin's eye that Ahsoka found all too familiar. “We've got her now.”

They raced across the rough terrain towards the disturbance, leaping over fallen logs and occasionally splitting up to navigate the thick brush. Santana wouldn't stick around, they knew that, but the clues would be fresher and she would be easier to track. This was their chance.

When they reached the site of the niyrino's nesting grounds, they found a broken branch, so fresh the splinters were still green and peeling. It was pointing south- Santana had headed back down into the canyon.

“13-14,” Anakin called as they began their descent. Ahsoka just scowled, continuing to scan their surroundings for any sign of the Jedi Master.

A footprint discovered by Ahsoka sent them in the direction of the water, and it was 14-14 as they came out of the forest to the sandy banks. A bright flash on the other side of the river caught Ahsoka's attention and she pointed. “Look!”

Master Santana was crossing the river over a spindly log. Her movements were quick and balanced, and as she hopped off the log on the other side, she turned back to face them. With a mischievous grin, she activated her lightsaber and cut the log away from the bank. Seconds later, it was sailing away downstream, and the only bridge over the wide river was gone.

“You still have to get close enough to win!” Santana called over the rushing water, and dashed away down the bank.

“That's not fair!” Ahsoka glared after Santana as she disappeared around the bend. A look at Anakin revealed that he was equally outraged.

“This isn't over yet,” he said, grim determination written on his face. “If I use the Force to get you across, do you think you can keep up with her?”

“Yes,” Ahsoka said, then frowned. “But- what about you? If you try to swim in that, you'll be a mile downstream before you're halfway across.”

“Don't worry about me,” Anakin said. “Just don't let her get too far away, got it?”

“I hope you know what you're doing,” Ahsoka said dubiously.

“This is a trust exercise, Snips,” Anakin reminded her. “So trust me.”

“Trust your plans _and_ have fun?” Ahsoka crossed her arms. “This _is_ more difficult than I thought it would be.”

Anakin rolled his eyes. “We're wasting time. Cmon.”

The Force surged around them as Anakin outstretched a hand, closing his eyes in concentration. Ahsoka remained still and calm- this also required trust, but Anakin's command of the Force was never something she'd questioned.

The Force surrounded her, supporting her, and she was lifted up into the air, just above the choppy waves. Looking at the rushing water below her feet made her dizzy, so she tried to best to focus on the opposite bank. Anakin didn't rush, careful not to drop her, but he didn't take his time. Less than twenty seconds later, her feet touched the ground on the opposite side. With a short nod to her Master, Ahsoka took off after Santana.

Their target wasn't bothering to leave subtle clues now, this was an all out chase. The sun was low in the sky- if Santana could shake them now, she would likely win. But if Ahsoka could just stay on her trail...

She rounded the bend in the river and Santana came into view. The Jedi Master glanced over her shoulder, looking slightly startled that Ahsoka had found a way across the water. She then took a sharp right, away from the river and back up into the trees.

_Don't let her get too far away._

Ahsoka ran faster, light and quick over the sand. She felt newly energized after a long day of hiking, driven by how close they were to winning this. She came up on Santana's left side, forcing her to go either higher up the mountain or right, back the way she'd came. Up the mountain would mean rougher terrain, and Ahsoka was willing to bet Santana didn't want to risk that right now.

She was correct. Santana veered right, opting to take the safer route. However, she was still fifteen yards ahead, and despite Ahsoka's best efforts, the distance was growing. Where was her Master? There was no way he would let Ahsoka catch Santana alone. She knew at this point they were both deeply invested in seeing this through to the end.

Then she felt it. A flicker in the Force, faint but there. Santana must not have picked up on it, because she continued to run towards the flicker, but Ahsoka grinned. She now knew exactly what Anakin's plan was.

She continued to drive Santana east, tense with anticipation. Up ahead, the brush grew thicker. It was difficult to see what lay beyond the tall, wild bushes and in a few moments, it would become much harder to follow her target through the heavy foliage.

If ever there was a time, it would have to be now.

Santana seemed to know she was almost home free. She put on a burst of speed, ten feet from the brush-

And then Anakin emerged from behind a towering bush, igniting his lightsaber.

Santana skidded to a halt. She turned around, but it was too late- Ahsoka had activated her blade as well as she came up behind her. Master and Padawan took three steps closer until they were both a lightsaber's length away.

In the contrasting blue and green light, Santana slowly raised her hands in a surrender.

With twelve hours remaining, Anakin and Ahsoka had completed the exercise.

“Well _done_ ,” she said with a sudden grin. “I really thought I almost had you there.”

Anakin and Ahsoka both deactivated their lightsabers. Ahsoka felt satisfaction light up the Force, though she didn't know if it was hers or Anakin's. Likely, it was both.

“Tell me,” Santana said, readjusting the pack on her shoulders, “how did you cross the river?”

“I used the Force to get Ahsoka across,” Anakin told her, “then hitched a ride on one of the sea creatures in the river. The Kador are harmless if you know how to approach them.”

Ahsoka had never even considered the fact that the scaly creatures in the river hadn't been dangerous. _Never judge a book by it's cover,_ she thought.

“I'm impressed,” Santana told them both. “You two work well as a pair. And I have to say, I'm rather glad that we don't have to spend one more night out here.”

Ahsoka was surprised to find that she didn't share that sentiment. She'd truly enjoyed her time away from battles and death and destruction. She'd been to so many planets, but it was rare she got a chance to explore and appreciate them like she had done with Ragoon VI. Not to mention, it had been nice to spend time with her Master in a peaceful environment.

She had been reluctant to come here in the first place. Now she would be sad to leave.

 

* * *

 

Without the stop and go that came with tracking, it was a fairly straightforward path back to the meadow. The night was still young when they reached their ships.

“Well, Snips,” Anakin said, coming up to Ahsoka's side and resting a hand on her shoulder, “our final score was 14 to 19, so it looks like I win.”

14 to- _hang on._

“No,” Ahsoka said, shaking her head. “I was the one who caught Master Santana first. _I_ have 19 points, _you_ have 14.”

“Perhaps the next thing we need to work on is your eyesight, my young Padawan,” said Anakin. “I got there first.”

As one, they both turned to Master Santana. “Master, which one of us completed the mission first?” Ahsoka asked.

Santana regarded them with a look of dawning realization. “You were... _competing_ to find the most clues?”

“I won, of course,” Anakin said confidently. “We agreed- five extra points to whoever caught up with you first.”

“Skywalker,” Santana said with a laugh, “neither of you won. It was a perfect tie- that's what made it so impressive.”

Anakin and Ahsoka glanced at each other, startled. A perfect tie? What were the chances of that?

“Well,” Ahsoka said slowly, “in that case, I suppose both of us won. 19-19.”

Anakin looked like he wanted to argue his point further, but decided to accept that victory. “Alright. A tie.”

“You both won more than points on this mission,” Santana said. “You've also gained knowledge and experience. Ahsoka- I sensed hesitation from you when we first started. How do you feel now?”

Ahsoka considered this. “I feel... lighter,” she said. “I see now what Master Skywalker was trying to show me. As Jedi, it's our duty to serve the galaxy... but it's also okay to have down time every once in a while.”

Anakin smiled at her. “Soon, I'm going to have nothing left to teach you.”

Ahsoka didn't think that was true. Although their relationship had been shifting lately, into that of friends, rather than student and teacher, she still felt she had so much to learn from her Master. Even when she was Knighted, she was sure she would still come to Anakin for advice.

“As Jedi, we are always learning,” Santana said. “But this was a good lesson, and one I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of.”

Anakin bowed and Ahsoka followed suit. “Thank you, Enn,” he said. Santana bowed in return.

“It was my privilege,” she replied. “Dark times lay ahead of us. It was a good reminder for me as well, that there is still peace in this galaxy.”

She headed back to her ship, quickly blending into the night.

Anakin and Ahsoka climbed back into the Republic shuttle and turned their comlinks back on. Anakin's began beeping almost immediately.

The sound, though familiar, was almost jarring.

Ahsoka looked up at Anakin and knew he was thinking the same thing. His brow furrowed as he pressed the button and a holorecording of Obi-Wan flickered to life.

“Anakin,” he began. “Sorry to interrupt your training mission, but once you get this, please report to the Council immediately. You and Ahsoka are needed on Cato Neimoidia.”

“Well,” Anakin said with a sigh as the recording ended. “Back to civilization.”

Back to the war. To death and destruction and the ever-growing darkness. Back to the weight of responsibility and command.

She hadn't even realized how much she'd needed this break until now.

“Thank you for doing this, Anakin,” Ahsoka said softly. “It actually was a lot of fun.”

“You're welcome, Ahsoka.” Anakin looked pleased. “Maybe, once the war has ended, we can come back here again.” He gave her a cocky grin. “Next time, though, I'm going to win.”

He was impossible. “In your dreams,” Ahsoka told him, and sat down in the co-pilot's seat they began takeoff preparations.

Anakin intended to bring her back, and he was a man of his word. But all the same, Ahsoka took a long look at the beautiful planet, drinking in the sight of the dark and peaceful forests as they rose into the air. She wanted to memorize this place, immortalize it in her memory.

She wasn't sure how, but she knew they wouldn't be coming back again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ragoon VI was initially introduced in Jude Watson's series Jedi Apprentice, when Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan there. Then it appeared in Jedi Quest, when Obi-Wan took Anakin. I love the idea that Anakin would want to continue that tradition.
> 
> Also, in case some people didn't know, Cato Neimoidia is the last mission Anakin and Ahsoka go on before the Jedi Temple is bombed.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading. :)


	15. Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka Tano is 42 when she realizes she's no longer getting any older.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 15- Age

It was a realization that took a while to sink in, one that had been slowly dawning for quite some time. One that perhaps, subconsciously, she'd known for years, but didn't want to think about. Every time the whispers entered her head, hissing suspicions, she pushed them aside in favour of new missions, new knowledge, new distractions, anything but the one truth she did not want to face.

But she could not run from it forever.

It was a cold day on Chandrila when Ahsoka Tano looked into the mirror and accepted that she was no longer getting any older.

It was now undeniable. At age 42, she was supposed to have more stripes twisting down lekku that should have been longer. Signs of aging should have begun to line her face. Her montrals were far too short.

The only thing old about her was her eyes.

_How?_   How had she simply stopped aging? Some species grew very slowly after they hit a certain age, but that was unheard of in her own. Togrutas had a lifespan of about ninety years, and Ahsoka had always figured she'd be dead long before that.

Ahsoka took three steps back until she was sitting on the bed in her tiny room. On the vanity in front of her, her reflection reached up to touch her cheek. She felt curiously empty, as if her soul had gone on and left her behind.

She locked eyes with herself. It was like looking at a stranger.

_What happened?_

There was nobody to answer that. As of right now, she and Luke Skywalker were the only experienced Force-users left in the galaxy, and Luke had his own path to walk.

She was alone.

And then she blinked, and suddenly, she was not the only reflection in the mirror.

For a moment, she thought she _was_ looking at Luke. They had the same eyes, same face, same stance. But this was not Luke. This was someone much more familiar to her.

She tried to say his name, but couldn't.

“I imagine you have some questions,” said Anakin Skwalker.

Ahsoka turned around, hand on her lightsaber. Darth Vader had been dead for three years, but Anakin Skywalker had been dead for over twenty. For him to be standing there, looking just as she remembered him- it wasn't possible.

However, it should not have been possible that Ahsoka looked exactly the same as she had the last time they had come face to face.

Upon closer look, Anakin was slightly transparent, as if he was a hologram. Holograms didn't have Force-signatures though, and this figure definitely did. It was older and sadder than she remembered it being, there was something fundamentally different about it, but it was still unmistakably _Anakin._

She was still wary, though. She couldn't help it. The Force worked in mysterious ways, but it could still be manipulated for evil purposes.

“Last time I saw you,” she said, forcing her voice to stay steady, “you were... someone else. How do I know this isn't a trick?”

“I wasn't someone else,” the glowing blue figure said. “That was still me. I have done terrible things, and I'll probably spend a very long time trying to atone for my sins. But I was given a second chance, and I plan on making the most of it.” He shrugged. “How do you know this isn't a trick? You don't. But please... hear me out.”

Ahsoka hesitated. Then... “Alright.”

So Anakin began to speak. He filled in pieces of the story she'd been missing in the beginning- how Palpatine lured him in with promises never fulfilled, how he'd lost himself in the darkness. How he ended up in the suit. He told her of all the years he'd spent locked in a cold and terrible rage. How everything had changed once he realized he had a son. Luke, he said, had redeemed him when he thought there was no hope for himself. Luke had freed him from the Emperor, and Luke had been there when he died. But death hadn't been the end for him. He'd been given an opportunity to learn how to retain his consciousness even after becoming one with the Force.

“Why do you look like this?” Ahsoka asked when he was finished. He could have been taken right out of her memory, and she didn't understand why.

“I can take many forms from different points in my life,” Anakin said. He looked hesitant then, and it was an expression she had rarely seen on him back in the war. “I just... thought you'd like to see one that you knew.”

For some reason, that was the sentence that convinced her that he was truly Anakin.

The emptiness within her gave way to a rush of emotions- joy that the Force had given her someone back, sadness, for all the time they'd lost, and a tinge of old fear and anger, for times she no longer wanted to remember.

“Welcome back, my friend,” she said softly. “It's good to see you again.”

Anakin smiled, surprised but pleased, as if he hadn't been expecting her to accept him that easily. “Likewise, Ahsoka.”

There were so many things she wanted to say to him; everything from, _I'm sorry I wasn't with you at the end of the war_ to, _it was_ _your training that helped me last this long_ to, _I saw a man driving a speeder far too recklessly last week and I still thought of you._

For so long, she'd thought of what she would say if she saw him- the real him again. And now, she found herself speechless.

Ahsoka took a step closer, wishing he wasn't transparent so she could hug him, then realized something.

She no longer had to look up at him to make eye contact.

“We're finally the same height,” she said. She laughed ruefully, shaking her head. “It only took twenty-five years.”

Anakin blinked as he seemed to realize he was no longer looking down on her. “I... didn't even notice,” he said. “I suppose I should just be thankful you aren't taller than me.”

The thought came unbidden. _I could have been._

But now both of them were here, frozen in time as it were, Ahsoka somewhere in her early thirties, Anakin in his twenties. Neither of them would get any taller.

The empty dread from before threatened to return, stealing the smile from her face.

“Not that it isn't good to see you,” she said slowly, “but... why are you here? Why now?”

“I wanted to come sooner, but you needed time,” Anakin said simply. Maybe he was right. She'd needed time to process the death of Darth Vader, and what that meant for her. She'd also needed a few years of relative normality, living as a protector and informant to Mon Mothma on Chandrila. “But now, I think I have some answers for you.”

An icy feeling crept up the back of her neck.

“I'm not going to get any older, am I.”

Anakin shook his head. “No.”

To hear it out loud was more devastating than she thought it would be.

Ahsoka had already lost everyone, years and years before. Now, with the war over, she was finally starting to build new relationships. She had friends now, people she cared about. She was beginning to make new connections when she thought she never would.

And now...

She would outlive everyone. The last former Jedi of the old order, she had survived when nobody else had, and now she might never die.

It was, perhaps, a crueller fate than death.

Anakin was watching her with a sad expression. “I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault, Anakin.”

“Well,” he said, “that's not entirely true.”

It said a lot about the day Ahsoka was having that that was the most surprising thing she'd heard so far.

“ _Why_?” was all she managed. “What happened to me?”

Her room felt too small all of a sudden. She imagined still living in this tiny apartment on Chandrila two hundred years from now, with a new government, new citizens, everything changing but her.

It was as if the walls were closing in on her.

Anakin looked at her for a moment, reading her expression, then said, “Let's take a walk.”

* * *

 

They ended up in the skygarden of Hanna City, a beautiful park with winding trails and enough privacy that Ahsoka could walk and talk to a ghost without being seen. Could people even see Anakin? She doubted it. When they smiled at her on the streets on her way to the skygarden, their gaze always slid right over Anakin.

It was probably for the best. Ahsoka didn't like drawing attention to herself.

“There was a mission, back in the clone wars,” Anakin began as they entered the gardens. The day was cold enough that they were fairly deserted. “I don't know how much you remember about Mortis and the Ones who lived there.”

Ahsoka remembered enough. In her studies of the Force throughout the years, Mortis had come up once or twice in ancient texts. It was mostly the talk of legends, and nobody could say for sure if it existed or not. She knew better, though. It did exist, and things that happened there had haunted her for years.

“I remember,” she said. “The Son, the Daughter and the Father. The dark, the light and the balance.”

Anakin nodded. “What I never told you was that on Mortis, you were turned to the dark side and eventually killed by the Son. We told you the Daughter was killed by the dagger. That was only partially true. She was dying of a stab wound when she offered to bring you back from the dead with her remaining life force. The Father used me as a conduit to make the transfer.”

Her memories of Mortis were clouded and dreamlike, but she did remember waking up beside the lifeless body of the avatar of light. Dazed and confused, she had accepted her Master's explanation that she had been knocked out, and in that time, the Daughter had been killed by her brother.

“I... don't understand,” said Ahsoka. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because the Daughter didn't just give you her life force, Ahsoka. She gave you some of her abilities as well. To what extent- I don't know. But I can feel it in the Force. You're stronger than you used to be.”

It was as if a puzzle piece had finally clicked into place after so many years. It was the piece that explained her growing abilities, her ageless face. It explained why she hadn't died on Malachor in that Sith Temple.

It also explained why the green-gold convor that had been her guide through the trials of the Malachor temple had felt strangely familiar. It had been a different kind of avatar.

“Hey. Are you alright?” Anakin asked, and Ahsoka realized she'd been silent for a long time.

“Yes,” she said. Then, “No. I don't know.” She took a deep breath that did little to calm her swirling emotions. “How long have you known?”

“Since I first became a ghost. I can see things differently from this side.”

Ahsoka closed her eyes briefly. “You should have told me from the beginning.”

“What difference would it have made?”

He had a point. She would have had more time for the news to sink in, but now, time was the one thing she had too much of.

“Not much of one, I suppose,” she sighed. Something occurred to her. “You said that this was your fault. How so?” She couldn't see fault here- Anakin was to blame for many things, but this? This was not one of them.

“I was the one who agreed to revive you in the first place,” Anakin said. There was no guilt in his voice, he was just speaking what he believed to be true. “I wouldn't accept your death- I demanded that they help you. And you paid for my selfishness.”

Ahsoka shook her head. “There's no way you could have known. I would have done the same thing.”

“I know,” Anakin said, and they were both lost in thought as they continued their walk through the skygarden.

They had both changed so much, Ahsoka reflected. Anakin was quieter, more soft spoken. The old fear that had haunted him throughout his life was gone, replaced by a calm she had never sensed from him before. She was wearier, more reserved, sadder, but wiser than she used to be.

“I'll understand,” Anakin said after a while, “if after our history and everything I've done, you don't want to see me again after this.”

_What?_

Somewhere in Ahsoka, the part of her that remembered being a young girl alone in the galaxy stirred. The piece of her that still remembered the clone wars as some of the best times of her life awakened. And the part of her that had mourned Anakin Skywalker for years begged, _please don't leave. Not again. Not this time._

She'd lost Anakin during the clone wars, then again on Malachor. She couldn't go through that again.

“What is the lifespan of a Force ghost?” she asked. Anakin clearly hadn't been expecting that. He blinked.

“I'll be around until the Force no longer exists.”

Ahsoka nodded. She'd figured, but it was nice to hear confirmation. “Then I guess you're stuck with me until that happens,” she said. “Seeing as we're both technically immortal now.”

Anakin smiled at her then, a tentative smile that was tinged with relief.

It felt like a new beginning.

They had a lot to talk about and a lot to figure out. Anakin had spent twenty years as a Sith Lord, Ahsoka now bore the legacy of the avatar of the light side. They would have to relearn how to exist in one another's lives.

But they had all the time in the world to do so.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one fought me all day because I wanted it to be perfect and it's /finally/ done. I've been thinking about this concept for so long, you guys have no idea.


	16. Duel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alright,” Anakin said, gaze critical as he considered Ahsoka's form, “the first thing we have to do is fix that reverse grip.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 16- Duel

_1._

 

The first time Anakin brought it up was during a practise duel, early on in her apprenticeship.

After returning Jabba's son to him on Tatooine, the Jedi headed immediately to Coruscant. As Anakin explained to Ahsoka, this was their opportunity to eat hot food and get a good night's sleep before they were given a new mission. Ahsoka thought she was too wired to sleep, but once the mission reports were filled and she was back in her room, she slept for almost twelve hours.

She awoke feeling well rested and ready to face whatever her new Master had for her next. Being a Padawan had been exciting so far. A Jedi didn't seek thrills, but Ahsoka was eager for the next challenge.

That challenge turned out to be a practise duel.

Ahsoka bowed to her Master in the center of the training room, attempting to release her nerves into the Force and stay focused. It was difficult. She'd already fought several battles beside her new Master, but those had all been chaotic firefights.

This would just be the two of them.

Anakin had told her he just wanted to see where her skill level was at, but the second Ahsoka settled into her reverse grip ready position, he was already frowning.

“Alright,” Anakin said, gaze critical as he considered Ahsoka's form, “the first thing we have to do is fix that reverse grip.”

Ahsoka straightened up in indignation. “What's wrong with it?”

“Well, for starters, it's leaving you way too exposed,” Anakin told her. “I saw it happen on both Teth and Christophsis. You're constantly giving the enemy an opportunity to attack you from the front- like this.”

One second his saber was hanging on his belt, the next it was pointed at her heart. Ahsoka had no time to bring her own lightsaber up to block it. She put her free hand on her hip, glaring. “That's not fair! I wasn't ready.”

Anakin nodded. “See, that's the problem. If your ready stance was that of Djem So, not reverse Shien, your blade would have been raised to defend yourself. Shien might be good for deflecting blasterfire, but against a one on one opponent, you're going to have some trouble.”

“It's never been a problem before,” Ahsoka said defensively. She was consistently at the top of her classes in lightsaber duelling. Sure, some of her instructors might have frowned at her choice of form, but she couldn't imagine using primarily Djem So or Soresu. They seemed far too limiting for her. Shien was what she knew- she was comfortable using the usual front facing method, but she usually preferred the reverse grip.

“Yeah, but you've never faced opponents like Ventress before,” Anakin said. “The separatists aren't going to go easy on you, Snips- one wrong move and you're dead.”

“I _know_ , Master,” Ahsoka said, irritated. “But I've been using this form for years. I already know it's what I'm best at.”

“Ah, and now you're getting cocky,” Anakin said lightly. “Ready position. Let's see how good you really are.”

Ahsoka settled back into her ready stance. Now she had a point to prove.

Djem So and Shien were two variants of the same lightsaber form, but they were both very different. Shien was created as a defensive form, where as Djem So was more attack oriented. Anakin made the first move, a low strike. Ahsoka easily blocked it, shifting her weight to her leading foot. She then followed with a low swipe at her Master's knees, which he parried with a smooth, steady movement. Their lightsabers tangled briefly before Ahsoka retreated again. She kept her center of balance low- Anakin's strikes were powerful and they could easily knock her off guard if she wasn't careful. Taking a breath, she leaped forward again.

Anakin's technique, she noted, involved a lot of quick, sharp movements that didn't expand too much energy. He used his height and weight to his advantage, pressing her back her back with a series of fast, heavy strikes. Ahsoka sprang away with quick, light steps, alternating between dodging and blocking, now focusing only on defending herself.

“How long do you think you can keep this up for?” Anakin asked, sounding as if they were simply out for a stroll.

“Why,” Ahsoka countered, leaping to the side to avoid a blow, “are you tired already?”

“You wish,” Anakin scoffed. “But you're using up a lot of energy. That could be costly in a real battle.”

Ahsoka frowned inwardly. Why didn't he believe that she knew what she was doing? His ability to make her feel eight years old again was almost as impressive as his lightsaber skills. “I can handle it, Master.”

He moved quickly then, taking his opportunity while her blade was raised in front of her to aim a kick at her stomach. There was the brief, sickening sensation of flying through the air, and then Ahsoka hit the mats with a groan, watching out of the corner of her eye as her lightsaber skidded away from her.

_Blast it._

She sat up quickly, not wanting to seem weak in front of her Master. He didn't look judgmental, or even disappointed. He just offered her a hand up.

Ahsoka narrowed her eyes in determination. She would show him. One day, she would show him that she was capable of mastering this form.

 

_2._

 

Ahsoka received a lecture from her Master for facing Grievous alone on the separatist listening outpost. She sat quietly, in the copilot seat of the Twilight, knowing she deserved it. She _had_ gotten ahead of herself and no, she _hadn't_ been thinking of the consequences of her actions, and yes, she knew that Grievous could have killed her, but what was she supposed to do? Run away? Let Rex die? That wasn't an option.

She knew Anakin's lectures came from a place of concern, and it made it easier to accept what he was saying.

Not to mention, Anakin rarely ended a lecture on a bad note.

“However,” he said, when he'd finished pointing out all the things she'd done wrong, “you _did_ hold your own against General Grievous. There aren't many Padawans your age who could have managed that, so- well done.”

Ahsoka sat taller, the praise soothing the sting of his previous words. “Thank you, Master.” She didn't tell him that she'd been terrified, or that she'd nearly been killed several times. She wasn't dead, so that had to mean her skills were improving, right?

She hoped they were improving, anyway. She'd been spending long hours in the training rooms in the Temple when they were home, honing her form and improving her technique. She had to admit, Anakin was a good teacher. Her footwork had definitely gotten better over the last few months, as had her strength, from regularly fighting someone much bigger than her.

She knew Anakin still disproved of her form though, which was why she couldn't resist throwing in, “Maybe reverse Shien isn't so useless against a single opponent after all.”

Anakin shot her a sideways glance. “You used reverse Shien against _General Grievous_?”

Well... sort of. It was a blur now, but she'd been so focused on trying to stay alive that she'd slipped into a mixture of both reverse and regular Shien. “Grievous is so fast that it's easier to block his strikes just like I would with blasterfire.” She crossed her arms as Anakin stared at her. “It worked, didn't it?”

Anakin shook his head. “And they call _me_ reckless,” he muttered, half to himself.

“I learned from the best.”

“Nice try, Snips, but I definitely didn't teach you _that._ ”

“Admit it,” Ahsoka told him. “Reverse Shien isn't as terrible as you think it is.”

Anakin stayed stubbornly silent and Ahsoka rolled her eyes, turning back to face the hypnotizing blues and whites of hyperspace in front of them. She was quickly learning that once her Master got an idea in his head, it was very difficult to change his mind.

“Who taught you about that form in the first place?” Anakin asked her after a while. “There aren't a lot of Jedi who even practise it right now. Most instructors at the Temple are pretty divided about whether it should be considered a form or not.”

He didn't have to tell _her_ that. Ahsoka had encountered all of those instructors at one point or another.

“I was learning Ataru at the time, but it didn't feel right to me,” Ahsoka said. “Serra Keto noticed me struggling. She taught me reverse Shien, thinking it would suit me better- and she was right.”

“Serra Keto... Cin Drallig's former Padawan?” Anakin looked interested. “I thought her form was Jar'Kai.” Jar'Kai was the style of dual wielding. It was another uncommon form among the Jedi and Serra was renowned for being one of it's best practitioners.

“It is,” Ahsoka said. “But she started with reverse Shien, too.” Not to mention, as the Padawan of the best duellist in the Temple, Serra was adept at multiple forms.

Anakin didn't say anything else. Ahsoka stood up to go check on Artoo, but out of the corner of her eye, she noticed he looked thoughtful.

 

_3._

 

Ahsoka kept training.

She studied hard, put in long hours in the Temple training rooms, and even unused storage rooms on the Resolute. She fought her Master often, never winning, but embarassing defeats were becoming less and less common. When they were on Coruscant, she sought out other opponents, just to keep herself from growing too used to Anakin's fighting style. Barriss was a good opponent, as was Serra Keto. A few times, she managed to convinced Master Obi-Wan to spar with her. He was just as good as Anakin, if not better, and it was always a challenge to try and combat his mastery of Form III.

He also seemed to enjoy her unique fighting style, which was more than she could say for other Jedi.

The dinner hour was when the outside training grounds were the quietest, and so when they were on Coruscant, Anakin and Ahsoka often ate quickly so they could escape and spar in peace. Both of them preferred the temple courtyard to the indoor training rooms- there was more room outside, for one, and the Great Tree at the heart of the courtyard provided welcome shade on a warm evening.

Their lightsabers flashed in the dusky courtyard as Ahsoka flipped over her Master's head, attempting to strike a hit as she did so. Anakin merely raised his lightsaber to deflect, unmovable as ever. In the same breath, he attempted a counterstrike at her knees, which Ahsoka easily leaped over. Both of them still breathed easily, even as sweat began to darken Anakin's hair.

Ahsoka decided to try something different. She flipped her lightsaber upright, crossed blades with her Master, then ducked low and spun around, resuming her reverse grip as she did so. She had manoeuvred herself an opening and even Anakin couldn't lower his blade in time to stop the glancing blow to his thigh. Their lightsabers were set to training mode, so it wouldn't hurt too badly, but he still grimaced all the same.

“Nice work,” he allowed, falling back into the Djem So ready position. The fight wasn't over until one of them landed a 'killing' blow or gave up. It was also game over if one of them was knocked down.

So far, Ahsoka had never won a match. But it wasn't about winning. It was about gaining experience.

They kept going.

After a while, there were footsteps on the stairs, and Ahsoka knew dinner was over. Several Jedi, looking for a quiet place to meditate after the meal had appeared. Some of them knelt under the tree, some of them sat on the stairs to watch the duel.

Their whispers carried. She heard what they said about her lightsaber form- _what is she thinking? Reverse Shien? Against Skywalker?_

Occasionally, Ahsoka wondered the same thing. What _was_ she thinking? Could she truly ever beat her Master with the reverse grip? Was she making a mistake?

“Keep your focus here,” Anakin warned her, quiet enough that the spectators wouldn't hear.

Ahsoka nodded, then threw herself back into the fight.

Things were different, after that, though. Before, where their fight had been fluid and graceful, it was now stilted and off. It had turned from a dance into routine. Was it the spectators? No, they'd had people watch them fight before. Not to mention, Ahsoka had grown very used to fighting under pressure.

So then... _what_?

Frustration slowed her reaction times. Embarrassment fed her hesitation. She was making mistakes she hadn't made in ages, and by the time she jumped back to regroup, neither of them were having fun anymore.

Ahsoka brought her lightsaber up to the ready position, and it was then that she knew what was wrong.

Without realizing it, she had switched from reverse Shien to forward Shien. She had unknowingly let the whispers affect her, and it had changed things for the worse.

No wonder their fight had been thrown off. Ahsoka wondered if her Master had even noticed she'd stopped using the grip he disliked so much.

Ahsoka could fight using the original style of Shien. She was proficient at Ataru and had a decent grasp on Djem So. But none of those forms fit who she was. None of them had ever clicked for her.

Ahsoka realized then, that she didn't need to prove herself to Anakin. Her lightsaber form had helped her survive against Grievous. She'd been able to hold her own against Ventress. Maybe it wasn't the best for one-on-one combat, but she made it work for her.

Reverse Shien was what Ahsoka Tano was best at. Her fellow Jedi could whisper, her Master could frown and shake his head. It didn't change that simple fact- reverse Shien was hers.

She felt lighter with the knowledge. She sank into the familiar ready stance and it was with a smile that she leaped forward once more.

Anakin met her halfway with his own blade, an eyebrow raised in a silent question, but she didn't know what kind of answer to respond with besides the best fight she could give him.

Ahsoka struck out with a low slash at his feet. She knew most of Anakin's moves by now, and knew that after blocking that, he would attempt a swing at her side. Her blade was already up to parry when he moved his, and their lightsabers met with a hiss. She ducked and weaved and flipped around him while he moved in solid, graceful steps to counterattack her swings, and suddenly, it was a dance again.

Reverse Shien versus Djem So. Offence versus defence. A simple spar, yet it felt like more.

And then, she saw an opening.

It was a split second of a thing, a sliver of a mistake because that's all Anakin would ever make, but perhaps, tonight it would be enough. Ahsoka didn't think about it. She just moved.

The spectators faded from Ahsoka's mind. Their quiet murmurs ceased to exist. All she saw were the blue and green blades flashing in the evening light and Anakin's startled face as her foot connected with his side.

He stumbled back, attempting to recover, but Ahsoka was already charging forward, . Anakin raised his lightsaber, grimly blocking slash after slash. He couldn't keep it up forever though- reverse Shien had one great advantage.

Ahsoka could move her lightsaber a lot faster than Anakin could.

The sun had just disappeared behind Coruscant's skyline when a single strike broke through Anakin's defences, painting a scorch mark across his tunic.

And just like that, it was over.

Anakin deactivated his lightsaber, breathing hard. His head was lowered, face hidden in shadow, and for a moment, Ahsoka was nervous. Was he angry, that she had beaten him in front of a crowd?

Then Anakin raised his head, and Ahsoka saw that he was grinning. Not only that, but he looked- _proud._

He didn't say anything. He closed his hands together in front of him and bowed and Ahsoka, feeling ten feet tall, followed suit. She only faintly registered the sound of polite applause before the onlookers began to go their separate ways.

It didn't matter. What _did_ matter was Anakin straightening up, putting a hand on her shoulder and telling her, “You heard what they were saying and you stayed focused anyway. I'm proud of you, Snips. Well done.”

Ahsoka looked away, smiling. “Thank you, Master.”

“Though, something changed in the middle there,” Anakin continued. “What was it?”

“I realized that... it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about my lightsaber form,” Ahsoka said slowly. “It's what works best for me, and that's what's most important. Once I saw that, I was able to clear my head.”

“You're right,” Anakin said as they reached the doors, “It does work best for you. I see that now.”

“What are you saying?”

It looked like it was a struggle for her Master to get the words out. “I... think it's time for me to admit I was wrong about the reverse grip.”

“What was that?” Ahsoka raised an eyemarking. “ _You_ were wrong about something?”

Anakin shot her an exasperated look. “It _does_ happen from time to time.”

“Well this time, I'm glad you were wrong,” Ahsoka said. She hadn't _needed_ Anakin's approval, but it was nice to have it all the same.“Even if it _did_ take you over a year to admit it.”

Anakin just shook his head and kept walking.

Ahsoka jogged to catch up with his long strides. “I don't suppose I could convince you to try reverse Shien now, huh?”  
Anakin snorted. “Not a chance, Snips.” He gave her a considering look. “Although... how would you feel about learning Jar'Kai?”

Ahsoka could only stare at him. He'd gone from hating the idea of her reverse-wielding her lightsaber to wanting her to use to of them at once. Never let it be said that Anakin Skywalker did anything halfway.

Ahsoka didn't think she would ever fully understand her Master.

But... the idea wasn't half bad.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's late. I spent 24 hours trying to wring it from my brain, but hey, at least it's done.


	17. Confess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was so frustrating sometimes. Standing there, unseeing eyes narrowed at her, pushing for answers now, when they were so busy. Lothal was on the brink of war, and Kanan was questioning her feelings for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 17- Confess
> 
> Note- this fic is based off of [this](https://stillthewordgirl.tumblr.com/post/164898866526/i-didnt-get-the-full-clip-but-be-prepared-to) scene that was shown at the Canada Fan Expo earlier this year. Contains spoilers if you've not yet watched that.

“Kanan... we've talked about this before.”

“Have we?”

“You know how I feel.”

“Do I?”

He was so frustrating sometimes. Standing there, unseeing eyes narrowed at her, pushing for answers _now,_ when they were so busy. Lothal was on the brink of war, and Kanan was questioning her feelings for him.

How could he not know how she felt? Hera thought herself to be so obvious. Sure, they'd never really said _those_ words before, but did they need to? Casual touches, late night vulnerable conversations, a comforting presence when the other person needed them- that was more important to her than any confession.

But Kanan liked things to be straightforward. With her, he tended to wear his heart on his sleeve, and Hera had never felt unclear about where she stood with him. She was more reserved, trying to keep her focus on the wider rebellion so she could build herself and her loved ones a better galaxy, but she always thought Kanan knew she cared about him just as much.

_One day._ That was her mantra whenever she thought about a possible relationship with Kanan. One day, the Empire would be defeated and then they could focus on one another.

But maybe, with the stakes this high, they needed something sooner than that.

Hera leaned in slowly, giving Kanan time to feel her presence, to recognize her intention. Kanan closed his eyes, bending down to meet her halfway and-

“We gotta go!”

Ryder Azadi's voice made them both jump away. Kanan looked surprised, then intensely frustrated, but Hera was already slipping back into the mindset of a general at war. She ran after Azati, pushing away the regret.

They had a job to do.

 

* * *

 

They had a brief moment of down time the next morning, before they made their next move. Once Hera had finished her preparations in the Ghost, she made her way out into the Lothal dawn. Kanan liked to meditate outside when he could, and this would be their last moment of peace for quite some time.

She found him a distance from the ship, kneeling in the grass. His hands rested on his knees and his face was to the sun. Wordlessly, she sank to the ground beside him. She didn't like meditation the way he did, but she enjoyed mornings like these, when it was just the two of them, quietly existing in the same space.

These days she didn't take moments like this for granted. She never knew when they'd get another one.

After a while, Kanan stirred. “Is it time?”

“Not yet,” she said. Kanan nodded, and they lapsed into silence again. Kanan wasn't meditating now, just thinking.

The sun was higher in the sky when Kanan spoke again. “It's been a while since things were this quiet.”

“Usually, we'd have been interrupted by now,” Hera said, and Kanan pulled a face, remembering.

The plains around them were deserted. There was nobody around to interrupt them now.

“About yesterday,” Hera began. “My feelings haven't changed, Kanan, and I'm sorry if I ever lead you to believe that they had.”

“I know they haven't,” Kanan said. “I shouldn't have pushed you like that in the middle of a mission. Forgive me.”

Hera reached over and laced her fingers through his as an answer. “We're still on a mission and I know this isn't the best time,” she began, “but...”

“No,” Kanan said, and she was taken aback at the fact that this time, the interruption had come from him. “Don't say it because we're about to be separated. Tell me again when we've won Lothal.”

Of course he knew what she had been about to say. Sometimes, it was as if he knew her better than she knew herself.

But he had a point. Those three words deserved better than to be used as a goodbye. “Alright.”

“Besides,” he said, smiling at her. “I already know.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back on track! Sort of. It's already the 18th here but. Details.
> 
> Thank you for all your wonderful comments so far!


	18. Weapon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Force was not a weapon, and it should not be treated as such.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 18- Weapon

To use the Force out of anger was not the Jedi way.

Every Jedi knew this. It was drilled into their heads from the time they were children- the Force was not to be used for simple tricks, or out of hatred or fear. To kill or harm an individual out of anger was a step down a dangerous path.

The Force was not a weapon, and it should not be treated as such.

But Ahsoka watched her Master throughout the war and occasionally, she wondered if he'd ever truly learned that lesson.

Anakin Skywalker's command of the Force was masterful. He was more powerful than any Jedi in living memory, and to him, using the Force in battle was as easy as breathing. He was an excellent duelist, a brilliant strategist, but what truly impressed most Jedi Masters was his deep connection to the Force.

It impressed Ahsoka, too. But the Jedi Masters weren't there when Anakin crushed five battle droids by making a fist, or when he slammed Trandoshan slavers against the wall from ten feet away. They rarely, if ever, saw the side of him that snarled at bounty hunters with the Force roiling around him.

They had never seen Anakin choke a bartender with the Force on an outer rim planet, eyes narrowed with dangerous intent.

Ahsoka wasn't scared of her Master. She knew that for all of his faults, he cared deeply about his friends and would never hurt her purposely. His rage was the righteous kind, only used on those who deserved it. And although his hands shook with anger and his voice went dark and furious at those who faced his wrath, he never killed anyone, and so Ahsoka stayed quiet.

But she watched. She stood by him, just in case things ever got out of hand. Sometimes, she intervened, a quiet murmur of his name to remind him of what he was doing.

And she made sure that his bad habits never became her own.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There had to be a short one eventually. Sorry guys, I was too tired to write anything more than this haha


	19. Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving the Jedi Order, Ahsoka Tano meets Ferus Olin by chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 19- Order
> 
> This one is ridiculously self indulgent. But, hey, that's what fanfiction is all about.

“I thought Dooku was the last Jedi to resign from the Order.” Ahsoka frowned at her datapad, then down at her Master from where she was sitting on the wing of his starfighter.

“He was,” Anakin replied, sliding out from under his fighter. There was a streak of oil on his nose. “Why do you ask?”

“Because this list here says that he wasn't. A Jedi named... Ferus Olin left peacefully about six years ago.”

The welding tool in Anakin's mechanical hand creaked under the sudden pressure. “Ferus Olin was a Padawan. The Lost Twenty you see in the Archives only refers to Jedi who achieved mastery.”

There was something... off, about the way he said Ferus's name.

Ahsoka went back over the list again, which she had encountered in her research on the history of the Jedi Order. She and her Master often spent afternoons like this; Ahsoka studying while Anakin tinkered with something complicated. That way, he could help her if she had questions, and he had somebody to hand him tools and bounce ideas off of. But she'd never seen him throw up his guard so fast to a question as simple as this.

Ferus had been eighteen when he left the Jedi, which made him about two years older than Anakin. Likely, they would have had some classes together. Ahsoka studied the picture beside the text. The former Padawan wore a serious expression. He had dark eyes, and there was a thick gold streak in his brown hair. “Did you know him?”

“Once,” Anakin said shortly. That was his _I don't want to talk about this_ tone, but Ahsoka was curious.

“Why did he leave?”

Anakin sat up, reaching for another tool. “Another Padawan was killed on a mission. Ferus felt responsible, so much so that he walked away from the Jedi.”

“Oh,” Ahsoka said softly. She couldn't imagine what that must have been like. How could he have brought himself to make that choice? At eighteen, he would have been just a few years away from becoming a Jedi Knight. All that hard work... for nothing. “I never knew about that.”

“It was a long time ago.” Anakin began to slide under his fighter again, but Ahsoka had one last question.

“Were you friends?”

Anakin snorted, a bitter smile twisting his lips.“Not exactly.”

So that's what she'd been sensing from Anakin. He wasn't sad, or upset. He'd... _resented_ Ferus, for some reason. That was odd. Her Master occasionally disagreed with the methods of his fellow Jedi, but he always respected them.

Ferus Olin, gone from the Order for over six years, seemed to still be getting under his skin.

Anakin read the confusion on her face and seemed to decide he wasn't getting anywhere by being vague. “Ferus and I were complete opposites. He would have been a great Padawan for Obi-Wan- he loved rules, never stepped out of line, never skipped a lesson. Everyone loved him.”

_Except you,_ Ahsoka thought.

“But he thought I was too reckless and I thought he was too careful,” Anakin continued, tone a little too flippant for that to be the extent of their issues. “We had our differences. But he would have been a good Jedi, had he stayed.”

Ahsoka wondered what Ferus was doing now. What did Jedi do, once they left the Order? It was something she'd never considered before. Did they find their family, wander the galaxy? Did they continue to serve the Republic in some aspect? Did they start families of their own?

“Pass me that wire cutter, will you, Snips?” Anakin asked. It was a pointed change of subject, but Ahsoka decided to let it go. It was clear that Ferus Olin was someone Anakin wanted to leave in the past, and she would respect that.

* * *

 

Ahsoka wondered, from time to time, how someone could just choose to walk away from the Jedi Order, but she never truly understood until it was her turn.

It was something that she knew, deep down, was the right thing to do. It had been her choice to make, and yet walking down the steps of the Temple was the hardest thing she'd ever done. Now, three months later, she was still figuring things out.

It was a slow adjustment process.

It was up to her, and only her, to decide how she wanted to live. There was no Master to tell her what to do, no Council to send her to far off places. She had to provide for herself, and although Ahsoka was accustomed to living in uncomfortable conditions, she wasn't used to the routine of civilian life.

Every morning, she woke up and headed to Coruscant's floating parks to meditate. Then, after breakfast, she would go to work at the repair shop she'd found, several levels below the surface. It was a tedious job, but one that paid well enough. As the lights began to dim on Coruscant, she would then walk the streets, taking in the city she'd known her entire life, but never had a chance to explore.

She didn't know what she was looking for. But it beat staying in her tiny room with nothing to do.

Today found her in a cafe near the surface, reading a holonet commentary on the war effort, hands wrapped around a mug of Alderaanian-brew caf. It was her favourite, she'd discovered, and that in itself was odd. She'd never really realized that she could have favourites like that before.

There was a lot of things she had never realized before leaving the Jedi Order.

The door opened and Ahsoka looked up out of habit. There were two Republic officers entering the cafe, both wearing the uniforms of a General. That wasn't uncommon in this district of Coruscant, Ahsoka was discovering. All the best cafes on Coruscant were on level 5125, and they were only two levels beneath the Senate District, where the Republic Center For Military Operations was.

“You're cutting this a bit close, don't you think?” one of the officers was saying. He reminded Ahsoka a little of her Master (former Master, she reminded herself) with a tall, powerful build and long dark hair. She looked away.

“Ah, but who's fault is that?” the other one asked lightly. “If you could drive half as well as you could plan a tactical assault, we'd already be back at the compound.”

“Which one of us has never been to Coruscant again, Ferus?”

Ahsoka snapped her head up. Ferus was not a common name.

Could it really be...?

She hadn't paid much attention to the other officer at first, but looking at him now, she could see the same dark eyes, same hair, same angular face as she remembered from that list, at least a year ago. He'd changed a bit, his face was older, his hair longer, and the gold streak now carried hints of silver, even though he was still only in his twenties.

The biggest difference though, was that Ferus Olin was smiling.

“I'm hearing excuses when we should hurrying,” he said to his companion as they joined the line. Ahsoka didn't mean to keep staring, but she couldn't look away.

He was so different than she'd imagined him to be.

Anakin had painted a picture of a stiff, formal, unsmiling Jedi, one who didn't know how to joke around or laugh, and that was not who Ferus was. His stance was casual despite the uniform, and he was clearly at ease with the other General. Had her Master been wrong about Ferus? Or had leaving the Jedi Order changed him that much?

Ferus must have sensed her watching him, because he turned around and his gaze found hers immediately. Ahsoka expected confusion, or for him to ignore her completely, but instead, his eyes widened in recognition. He hesitated, just for a moment. Then, he said something to his companion that she didn't catch, left the line and made his way to her table.

“Mind if I sit?” he asked.

“Be my guest,” Ahsoka told him. “Ferus Olin, right?”

Ferus nodded, sliding into the seat across from her. “And you're Ahsoka Tano. I heard about what happened. I'm sorry.”

Ahsoka looked down. “Thank you.”

“I have to ask- how do you know who I am? I don't think we ever met at the Temple.”

“There's a list in the Archives, containing the names and pictures of every Jedi who's ever peacefully resigned from the Order,” Ahsoka told him. “When I found it, your name was the most recent one.”

It was still painful to think that now, her name would be at the top of that list. Dooku. Ferus Olin. Ahsoka Tano.

Ferus nodded. “Leaving the Jedi is still the hardest choice I've ever had to make,” he said. “I wouldn't wish that on anyone else.”

The words were out before she could stop them. “Do you regret it?”

“No,” Ferus said. There was no hesitation, and something lifted in Ahsoka's chest. “I remember being where you are now. I spent my first few months out of the Order wandering the galaxy, looking for a new sense of belonging. That adjustment period is hard. But it _will_ get better.” He smiled. “If I can do it, anyone can.”

“Did you find it?”

“Find what?”

“The belonging you were looking for.” It was belonging to something bigger, having a purpose, that Ahsoka was missing so much. Where in the galaxy could former Jedi find their place?

Ferus glanced sideways, in the direction of the front counter. His smile went soft, just for a moment. “I did. And you will too.”

He was happy, she realized. Ferus had left the Jedi Order in a similar sense of heartbreak. He had gone through the confusion and despair of trying to live outside the Order. And he had built himself a new life.

It filled her with a sense of both hope and determination. In time, this heartbreak would heal, and Ahsoka would find her own path.

“You're...” Ahsoka shook her head, trying to find the right words. “You're not what I expected.”

Ferus looked amused. “You were Anakin Skywalker's apprentice, right? What did he tell you about me?”

So the rivalry had gone both ways. “Just that you two were complete opposites,” Ahsoka said. Maybe it was best that her Master had left it at that.

“Well,” Ferus said, “he wasn't wrong. I'd like to think he's changed as much as I have, though. When we were kids, I could never imagine him taking a Padawan.”

She didn't tell Ferus that Anakin hadn't wanted her in the beginning, just as she didn't tell him that her leaving had crushed him. “He was a good Master,” she said softly. She didn't know exactly what Ferus thought of Anakin, but she thought he should hear that much, at least.

“You miss him,” Ferus said. “I understand. But that gets easier in time as well.”

The other officer approached then, holding two drinks. “I hate to interrupt, but Ferus, if we're any later than we are, we might actually get court-martialed.”

“Duty calls,” Ferus said with a sigh. He stood, grimacing, and his companion shot a concerned look at his leg.

What brings you to Coruscant, anyway?” Ahsoka asked.

“Meetings, mostly,” he said. “I was injured during the battle of Lythillian and Senator Grendor wanted to _personally_ thank me for my service. Of course, by _personally_ , he meant, _come to Coruscant_. After all, there's no press in the middle of a war zone.”

Ahsoka had met Senators like that. The Republic was filled with greedy politicians, looking for their moment in the spotlight so they could gain more supporters. They'd always been there, of course, but the war was changing everyone.

“Ferus refused to get into all of that without caffeine,” the other officer said, handing one of the drinks to Ferus, “so here we are.” He turned friendly eyes on her. “I'm Roan Lands.”

“Ahsoka Tano.”

Roan glanced at Ferus. His expression shifted to that of understanding. “It's nice to meet you, Ahsoka Tano,” he said to her. “Sorry this has to be so short, but my partner here has Senators to charm-”

“I'll meet you outside,” Ferus told him.

“If you're longer than thirty seconds, I'm dragging you out by your hair,” Roan informed him, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“ _Go_ ,” Ferus said good naturedly, and Ahsoka watched as Roan slid his fingers gently down Ferus's arm before he pulled away. She watched the way Ferus smiled after him as he walked out the door.

It reminded her of something, another secret relationship that wasn't so secret.

Maybe Anakin and Ferus weren't so different after all.

“You should go,” Ahsoka said. “You know how those Senators hate to be kept waiting.”

“If anything, that's incentive to stay.” Ferus looked back to her. “You know, you're already doing better than I was when I left. But-” He handed her a business card. It read _Olin/Lands,_ and there was an address on it for the planet Bellassa.

So that's the life Ferus lead when he wasn't fighting a war. A businessman.

“If you ever need anything...”

“I'll know where to find you,” Ahsoka finished. She felt warm, and it wasn't just from the caf. “Thank you.”

Ferus nodded. “My pleasure. And now I _really_ have to go.”

“May the Force be with you, Ferus,” Ahsoka said, and Ferus, who had begun to turn, froze. There was a curious expression on his face.

“I haven't heard that one in a while,” he said, almost to himself. Then, after a moment...“May the Force be with you, Ahsoka.”

And then he was gone.

Ahsoka was alone once more.

She didn't feel alone, though. It was comforting, to know that there was someone out there that knew what she was going through. Ferus had reminded her of both what she'd had, and what she could have. She would build a life for herself, just as he had. She would find her place of belonging.

She would just have to keep looking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, if nobody else is gonna write Ferus/Roan or two of my favourite Star Wars characters meeting, I've gotta do it myself.
> 
> (Ferus Olin was a character created by Jude Watson, if you aren't familiar with him. I've tried to stick as close to canon as I can here- he and Anakin were rivals, Ferus left the Order after the death of a Padawan, then he met Roan Lands and they started a business together called Olin/Lands, later falling in love. It's mentioned in the Last of the Jedi series that he and Roan served as officers in the Clone Wars, so I took that and ran with it.)


	20. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most important lesson Ahsoka learns from Padme is that battle armour is more than the weapons you carry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 20- Happy

“Senator Amidala,” Ahsoka said, breathless as she entered the office. “Sorry I'm late.”

Padme looked up with a warm smile. “It's alright, Ahsoka. I'm not quite ready to go yet anyway.”

Ahsoka considered herself lucky that the Senator she'd been assigned to shadow for a day was Padme. She was quick to forgive and understanding of the fact that Ahsoka knew very little about politics. It would make the day go by much faster than if she'd been assigned to someone like Senator Burtoni or Orn Free Taa.

“Please hold still, milady,” her aide said, bending over Padme. She was applying a light red pigment to Padme's lips and Ahsoka stepped forward, curious. She knew what makeup was, of course, but she'd never seen anyone put it on. It looked more complicated than she'd originally thought- there were several brushes laid out on Padme's desk, and beside those were more colourful tubes and bottles.

Padme saw her looking. “Normally I do this at home,” she told her, “but today's debate was moved ahead by an hour, so there wasn't time.”

“I had no idea that there was so much of it,” Ahsoka commented, scanning the supplies on the desk. She recognized nail polish and lip pigment, but that was all. Did Padme do this every day?

“This is just the basics,” the aide said with a small grin. “You should see what she has at home.”

“Ahsoka,” Padme said slowly, as if something was dawning on her, “have you ever used makeup before?”

Ahsoka shook her head. “I've never needed to. My assignments aren't typically the undercover kind.”

“Undercover,” Padme repeated. “What about in your own time?”

Ahsoka didn't know how to explain to the Senator that Jedi were discouraged from having personal possessions. They strove to stay humble, hence the simple robes and tunics most Jedi wore. Makeup could be seen as a source of vanity, and that was also against the Jedi way. “You... could say that it's never come up before.”

The aide stepped back, setting a brush on the desk. “There. All done.”

“Thank you, Teckla.” Padme turned to Ahsoka. “How do I look?”

Ahsoka studied her for a moment. She still didn't really know what to look for, but Padme's eyes seemed darker and there was colour in her cheeks. The lip pigment was mild, yet flattering. “You look ready to take on the Senate,” Ahsoka decided.

“Don't put it all away just yet,” Padme said to Teckla, who was beginning to pack the brushes into a case.“After the debate, I have a free hour for lunch.” She looked up at Ahsoka, eyes twinkling. “Think you'd be interested in a makeover?”

Ahsoka hesitated. “I... I shouldn't.” It wasn't that she didn't _want_ to- quite the opposite. It sounded fun, and she appreciated that Padme wanted to take the time out of her day to do that for her. But would she be betraying the Code if she did?

Padme seemed to read her mind. “Being a Senator is more than just debates and bills, Ahsoka. If Master Skywalker wants to you learn about politics, well... looking the part comes with the job.”

Sometimes, Ahsoka forgot Padme was a politician. This was not one of those times. “Maybe I'll let you explain that one to him,” she said dryly, and Padme grinned.

“Is that a yes?”

Well, Ahsoka thought, if it was part of the job...

“Yes.”

 

* * *

 

Try as she might, Ahsoka still didn't understand much of what the debate was about. The Senators seemed to use a lot of words to say very little, and often, squabbles broke out among the delegates. Ahsoka stood beside Padme throughout the debate, arms crossed, and tried not to let her mind wander. She would take battle droids over this any day.

But, this was what Padme had dedicated her life to, and Ahsoka respected her enough to at least try to pay attention.

“I'm sorry you had to come on a day like this,” Padme told her with a sigh as they filed out of the Senate chamber several hours later. “This is a rewarding job when things get done, but sometimes, it's just a lot of empty talk.”

“It seems like every job has it's ups and downs,” Ahsoka said. It was true of her own- it was rewarding to free planets from separatist control, and devastating to lose thousands of men in the process. She was beginning to understand that there was a different kind of war being fought in the Senate- a war between greed and compassion.

“Later, I have a meeting with a journalist that I'd like you to sit in on,” Padme said, “but for now, let's take a break.”

And that was how Ahsoka found herself sitting angled towards Padme on the couch in her office, the makeup case open on the table in front of them. Padme was regarding her options carefully.

“Well, none of my base creams and powders are the right colour for you,” she said, “but the eye and lip makeup should work just fine.”

Ahsoka glanced at the array of colours. The options were almost overwhelming. “How long have you been doing this?”

“Since I was a little girl on Naboo.” Padme began with a thin brush, dabbing it in a container of bronze pigment. “When I became Queen, I had handmaidens to help me get ready. I still know how to do my own makeup, of course, but it's been a while since I had someone else to practise on.” She laughed a little at the expression on Ahsoka's face. “You don't have to be nervous. I know what I'm doing, I promise.”

“At least one of us does,” Ahsoka said, closing her eyes as Padme brought the brush up to her face. She felt exposed like this, vulnerable in a way she wasn't sure she was comfortable with. It was almost like a trust exercise, although she'd never done one quite like this. “Why do you wear makeup, anyway?”

It was one thing she couldn't figure out. It was just so... _unnecessary._ What was the point?

The brush was withdrawn from her eyelid, just for a moment, and then it was back. “As I said earlier, it's part of the job. As a Senator, I have to look the part.” She moved the brush to Ahsoka's other eye. “But I do enjoy it. Naboo is a very artistic world, and makeup is one aspect of that. You should have seen my makeup when I was queen.”

The Naboo were known for their elaborate dress and hairstyles. It made sense to Ahsoka that they also expressed their creativity through bright eye and lip colours.

“Many worlds have their own methods and styles,” Padme continued. “There isn't just one way to wear it. In fact, half the fun is experimenting with colours.”

“Experimenting? Now I feel like I _should_ be worried.” She wasn't though, not really. Once she'd gotten past the initial foreign feeling, it was... actually kind of nice. Just sitting down and talking while Padme did her makeup brought forth that sense of _normal_ that she rarely felt anymore. There was no pressure here, just the small concern that she would look ridiculous with makeup on.

And if that were the case, it could always be washed off.

“You look great, Ahsoka. Trust me.” Padme gently tilted her head down so she could line her eyes with a pen of some kind. She used a spiky brush on her eyelashes, directing Ahsoka to look up, then applied something foreign to her lips. She sat back to admire her handiwork, wearing a satisfied expression.

Ahsoka blinked, assessing herself. Her eyes were heavier. Her lips felt strange. She touched her fingers to her cheek, wondering if she looked as odd as she felt.

“Come with me,” Padme said, and led her across the room, to the mirror mounted on the far wall. Ahsoka approached slowly. What if she hated it? What would she tell Padme?

Her fears were dashed as soon she was close enough to see her reflection.

Her eyelids were painted in an array of bronze and light orange shades, with just a hint of rose gold. The bronze contrasted nicely with the white of her eye markings. Her eyes looked darker, more defined and her lashes were longer. Her lips were dark red, the same colour as her dress.

Her first thought was that she looked older.

“How do you feel?”

“I feel...” Mentally, she tried out a few different words. _Different. Surprised. Happy._ “Confident.” It was a different kind of confidence than she was used to. It wasn't the loud confidence of being sure of herself and her abilities, but the quiet sort of confidence that came from taking pride in her appearance.

She knew she couldn't do this again. It wasn't the Jedi way to take pride in the way she looked.

But she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face as she locked eyes with Padme's reflection. “Thank you, Padme.”

Padme smiled back at her. “Glad I could help, Ahsoka. You look beautiful.”

It wasn't a word she'd ever associated with herself before. But as Ahsoka looked in the mirror, she found herself believing it.

“I think I see now, why you like this,” she said, turning around. “I feel so... different. But not in a bad way.”

Padme nodded. “When I was younger, one of my handmaidens likened makeup to battle armour. Once it's on, nobody can really touch you.”

It was a good way of looking at it, Ahsoka thought. Every day, she woke up and donned her boots and her weapon and went to war, while Padme dressed in elaborate outfits and makeup and fought a battle of words.

“I wasn't sure I was going to learn anything today,” she confessed. “I'm glad I was wrong.”

“So am I,” Padme said warmly. She put her arm around Ahsoka's shoulders. “We have twenty minutes left before my next meeting. So- how do you feel about nail polish?”

* * *

 

_17 years later._

Jedi didn't take pride in their appearance. Jedi didn't wear makeup.

But Ahsoka had not been a Jedi in a very long time.

She didn't often seek comfort in material things, but she found the act of applying makeup to be relaxing. It had taken her a while to realize that she could be a warrior and still wear nail polish and eyeliner, but now it was simply a part of who she was.

In battle, the light glinted off both the metal of her saber and the red of her nails. In meditation, the light orange eyeshadow she preferred became visible.

Padme Amidala had taught her how to do these things, and she often thought of Padme as she painted her nails, or when she saw a certain shade of lip pigment. She thought of her now, as she put the finishing touches on her eyeshadow.

Padme, who had been there when Ahsoka needed advice and a hug. Padme, who had taught her about politics and how to navigate being a young girl in a hard galaxy. Padme, who for all her political skills, had been unable to hide how fiercely she loved Anakin Skywalker.

Padme, who had died around the same time he had.

She didn't want to assume the worst. But given what she now knew about Darth Vader, it was impossible not for her heart to feel heavy with the possibilities.

She was leaving for Atollon within the hour. From there, she would travel with Kanan and Ezra to Malachor. Although she wasn't sure what awaited them there, suspicions lingered in the back of her mind.

Somewhere, deep down, she already knew.

Padme had called makeup battle armour. _Once it's on, nobody can really touch you._ Ahsoka hoped that were true, because she would need to be untouchable, both inside and out, to win the fight ahead.

Ahsoka finished with a shade of dark red for her lips. She looked in the mirror and nodded to herself. The battle armour was on.

She straightened her shoulders, and went to war.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by the fact that it looks like Ahsoka is wearing red nail polish in Star Wars Rebels. It also looks like she has eye makeup on. Maybe she doesn't, but I /love/ the idea of this strong female warrior also enjoying wearing makeup.
> 
> Also, research did not unveil much about makeup in the Star Wars universe, so. I tried.
> 
> Day 21 will be up soon.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Leia reunite after Rey finds out about her true parentage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 21- Family. 
> 
> NOTE: this is another The Last Jedi what-if that takes place in the same universe as [Fic 11](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12237069/chapters/28060746). If you don't want to read that one, all you need to know is that in this universe, Luke is Rey's father and she was taken from him when she was a child.

Leia had lost quite a lot in her lifetime.

Alderaan. Her parents. Her people. Her niece. Her son Ben, Han, and Luke, all at the same time, for very different reasons.

She'd always known she would see Han again after they parted ways. But she never thought she'd lose him again, this time forever, just a day later.

Perhaps she'd been foolish to think that she could reunite her family. That she could find Luke, that Han could redeem their son. She'd let her dreams cloud reality, and now that dream was dead.

She walked slowly through the desolate landscape of Crait, salt crunching on the ground beneath her feet. Ahead, at the base of the mountains, the destruction from the battle earlier had stripped the salt crust away from the surface of the planet, exposing the red mineral dust beneath.

It looked far too much like blood.

Rey was here. Leia could feel her like a light in the Force, bright and welcome amidst the destruction and chaos. But there was still a sliver of dread in her heart.

Luke was nowhere to be found. Leia had not sensed him in over six years.

She couldn't shake that dread, despite the knowledge that if Luke was dead, she would have _known._ She'd felt Han's death from halfway across the galaxy, and Han was not Force sensitive. Luke's death would be the equivalent of a star imploding in the Force.

He was not dead, but he had not returned with Rey to help the Resistance.

As she coordinated attacks and headed evacuations from the newly established Resistance base, she'd kept part of her focus on the Force, feeling for any flicker that would give her a clue as to where Luke was. It was no use. Wherever her brother was, he didn't want to be found.

Rey was talking with Finn and Poe at the doors to the Resistance base. She looked up as Leia approached, said something to her friends, and headed out across the salt covered plains to meet her.

There was something different in her walk. It was steady and confident, no longer the look of someone who just wanted to blend in. There was careful consideration in her gaze as she studied Leia, and she realized with a start that Rey _knew._

Rey Skywalker walked like someone who had found her purpose.

Leia stopped in front of her niece and for a moment, they studied each other. Not for the first time, she took in Rey's gentle eyes, the set of her mouth. She _looked_ like a Skywalker. Leia had seen it right away, the moment Rey stepped out of the Millennium Falcon.

“I've never had an aunt before,” Rey said. There was no judgment in her tone. She wasn't upset that Leia hadn't said anything the first time they met, several long weeks ago, and Leia felt a weight lift off her shoulders.

“Yes you have,” she told Rey. She gave her a small smile. “A long time ago.”

Rey's answering smile was soft and trembling. She leaned down to hug Leia, but this was not a hug of shared grief, like their last one had been. This was a _welcome home_ hug, one that was years in the making.

Rey put all her strength into her hugs, and she didn't seem to think that they should be short embraces either. Leia didn't mind. Given what she knew about the girl's childhood, she probably hadn't had many of them.

Not to mention, Rey was family.

When they pulled away, Leia took a moment to marvel at the fact that the baby she'd once known was now much taller than she was. It was an odd feeling, realizing how much time had passed since Rey had been taken from her brother.

Speaking of.

“Where is Luke?” she asked, and Rey's expression fell.

“He blames himself for what happened to your son,” she said. “He's gone after Snoke himself.”

Something froze in Leia's chest. Luke was the most powerful Jedi she'd ever known, but Snoke had unbelievable power. If she lost Luke to Snoke too...

“I was going to go with him,” Rey hurried on, “but then Chewbacca got your message that the First Order had found Crait. I couldn't just abandon the Resistance.”

“It's good to know my brother is still as foolish and self-sacrificing as ever,” Leia muttered. She knew that no matter what Rey thought, Luke would never have let his daughter come with him to find Snoke.

Not after Ben.

“I think he knew you would say that,” Rey said. “He said to tell you not to worry. And that he'll see you soon.”

Secondhand words, yes, but they were the most she'd heard of Luke in years. Leia closed her eyes briefly.

Her family would never be what it was. Han was gone. Ben was lost, possibly forever.

But now she had Rey, and Luke had been found. Eventually, they would all be reunited. She just had a feeling.

“I'm going to check on the Falcon,” Rey said. Her tone was far too casual. Leia _knew_ that tone.

“Rey,” she called. Rey turned back, hesitant.

Rey would go with or without Leia's permission. She couldn't stop the girl, she knew that much.

But she didn't want her to sneak away.

_I'll see you soon._

Leia forced down that sliver of dread and smiled.

“When you catch up with my brother, tell him I'm holding him to what he said.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Carrie Fisher.


	22. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Anakin is captured by the separatists, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka must work together to get him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 22- Pain

“Commander. Are you alright?”

Ahsoka withdrew her hand from her forehead and looked up at Rex. “I'm fine,” she said. “It's just... been a long day.”

“Well get the General back,” Rex said confidently. “Skywalker is tough. He'll be alright.”

Except he _wasn't_ alright. She could feel it.

Once established, the bond between a Jedi Master and Padawan was strong. Anakin and Ahsoka had gotten off to a rocky start and it had taken a while for them to open up and trust one another. Their bond had developed slowly, but now she could pick her Master's Force-presence out of several hundred, sense where he was when they were home in the Temple. When they were in close proximity, she could sense feelings he didn't bother to shield, and he could do the same. Sometimes, it was convenient. Others, it was annoying.

Today, it was agony.

Anakin's fighter had been hit in the space battle above Shadonar, forcing him to crash-land on the planet below. Before the Republic troops on the ground could get to him, he'd been captured by the Separatists. Now, he was a prisoner in one of three possible locations. They didn't have the manpower to storm all three Separatist bases to try and rescue him, and so until the ground forces could figure out where they were really holding Anakin, they just had to wait.

Rex was sure Anakin was okay. But Ahsoka knew better.

Through the Force, Anakin's presence was crackling with torment. Ahsoka could almost feel electricity snaking across her body, though she didn't know if that was her brain helpfully filling in the blanks of what Anakin was going through, or if that really was how they were torturing him.

Her Master had been tortured before, she knew. But she'd never been close enough to him, both physically and mentally, to feel his pain before.

Ahsoka offered Rex a ghost of a smile. “You know me, Rex. I always feel better when I have something to do.”

“Hang in there,” Rex told her. “We'll have more intel from the ground forces soon.”

 _Not soon enough,_ Ahsoka thought. Every second wasted on the Resolute, waiting for more information was a second her Master spent in agony. She pressed her hand to her forehead again, but the headache she had wasn't something physical.

Rex snapped to attention. “General Kenobi.”

Ahsoka turned to see Master Kenobi heading their way. “Rex,” he said. Ahsoka noticed his voice was thin with tension. “Are the men ready to go?”

“Yes, sir,” Rex replied. “Just give the word.”

“Any news about Anakin?” Ahsoka asked, and Obi-Wan's frown deepened.

“Unfortunately, no. The separatist bases are heavily fortified- the ground forces haven't been able to get close yet. And we have yet to hear a ransom demand.”

Of course not, Ahsoka thought. They were interrogating him first. Ransom would come later, if at all.

Rex put his helmet on, and the determination could be heard clearly, even through the slightly tinny sound. “They'll locate him. And we'll be ready when they do.”

His confidence was catching. Ahsoka could almost forget the pain winding through Anakin's Force-presence, clinging to it like a second skin.

Almost.

Rex headed up to the war room, leaving Ahsoka alone with Master Kenobi.

“It's been almost eight hours,” she said, frowning. The first four had gone by quickly as Ahsoka finished up with the space battle, but during hour five, the echoes of pain had began. The reports and briefings ever since had been excruciating. “Shouldn't we have heard something by now?”

“Patience, Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan said to her. “These things take time.”

“I understand that, Master,” she said. “It's just...” She trailed off, wondering how to explain to him that she could feel Anakin being tortured. That he might not have the kind of time everyone seemed to think he did.

The phantom electricity was back. Ahsoka looked away.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to say something, but as he did, his comlink beeped. “General Kenobi,” came the voice of Admiral Yularen. “I'm sending you and Commander Tano to the surface. Quadrant Four needs reinforcements. Commander Cody will brief you on the way.”

Not the news she'd been hoping for, but finally, something to _do_. Not to mention, Quadrant Four was where one of Anakin's possible prisons was located. If that's where he was, she would be close enough to go in immediately.

“Thank you, Admiral,” Obi-Wan was saying. “We'll leave at once.” He studied Ahsoka a moment longer, lowering the comlink. Ahsoka resisted the urge to rub her temples again. The phantom pain would not go away.

“Clear your mind.” Obi-Wan's tone had gentled, just a bit. “The best way you can help Anakin right now is to focus on the task at hand.”

“Yes, Master,” Ahsoka said. Hopefully, focusing would be a lot easier in the familiarity of battle. “I'll let the troops know we're leaving.”

Obi-Wan nodded and stepped aside. Maybe it was a trick of the light, but as she walked by, she saw a troubled expression flicker across his face.

 

* * *

 

The ground troops in Quadrant Four were trapped in a canyon, about seven kilometres from the separatist base. After working so hard to establish a presence in that quadrant, Yularen wasn't willing to retreat just yet. It made sense. They needed to bomb the three separatist bases to secure their victory, and having republic forces close by the bases would make that easier.

Anakin's Force-presence burned hotter as they neared the planet's surface, but Ahsoka still couldn't pinpoint exactly where her Master was, so she said nothing. Her frustration mounted. He was so close, and yet too far for her to do anything about it.

She threw herself into the ground battle, taking down droid after droid and for a while, she was able to distract herself. Obi-Wan's fighting style was very different from Anakin's but they worked well as a team, driving the droids back through the canyon and gaining ground on the separatist base. Every once in a while, the phantom electricity would crackle through the Force and across her skin, but Ahsoka gritted her teeth and attempted to ignore it. Obi-Wan was right. She couldn't lose focus now.

And then a wave of torment lit up the Force, momentarily blinding her to everything else. Anakin's Force-presence was aflame with agony, and it took everything Ahsoka had to stay focused enough to keep herself alive.

To her right, Obi-Wan faltered.

It was a small movement, and most wouldn't have caught it. Ahsoka nearly missed it. But Obi-Wan didn't _do_ things like that. He didn't falter in battle. Ever.

Except for when he was injured.

Ahsoka scanned him quickly, but he appeared fine, apart from that one moment of weakness. Then, what...?

_Oh._

Her mind cleared suddenly, and she realized what she'd been missing all day. The bonds between a Jedi Master and Padawan were strong. Which meant..

“You can sense him too,” she breathed, and Obi-Wan glanced at her. His eyes widened marginally. In the fraction of a second it took for them to exchange a look, several things became clear.

He had not expected her bond with Anakin to be strong enough to sense his pain from that distance.

Earlier, when he had told her to clear her mind and focus on the task at hand- that had not just been advice for her. He was struggling too. Ever the model Jedi Master, he was just... better at hiding it.

And, he had purposely not told her that he could sense what was happening to Anakin, most likely believing he was sparing her details she didn't yet need to know.

That last one was annoying. But Ahsoka knew he'd only done it to protect her.

A blast rocked the ground in front of them, and they broke eye contact, scattering. There was still a job to do. They couldn't discuss this here.

But now, Ahsoka had an idea about how to find and rescue Anakin.

 

* * *

 

Eventually, the canyon spilled out into a rocky desert dotted with mesas, and they were able to force the separatists back enough to establish a temporary base and perimeter. When a ring of walkers in place around their supplies and the wounded soldiers were looked after, Ahsoka went looking for Obi-Wan.

“Still no word from Admiral Yularen,” Rex was saying as she rounded a stack of crates. Obi-Wan was with him, arms crossed. The troubled look was evident on his face, now that she knew what to look for. “It might be time to start thinking of a new plan to rescue Skywalker.”

“I think I might have an idea,” Ahsoka said, coming up behind them. “Master Kenobi? May I speak with you?”

Obi-Wan nodded. “Excuse me, Captain,” he said to Rex, and walked with Ahsoka to the relative privacy in the shade of the walkers.

“How much can you sense?” was Obi-Wan's first question.

“Not enough,” Ahsoka sighed. “I can feel that he's in pain. But I can't get a sense on where he is.”

“Neither can I, I'm afraid.” Obi-Wan looked weary. “It appears I underestimated how strong your connection with Anakin was. To sense another Jedi like this, from a distance this great... it's unusual.”

Yet, Master Kenobi could do it too. Anakin was the common denominator here and he was the most powerful Force user Ahsoka knew. “Anakin _is_ one of a kind,” she said dryly.

“Indeed. But unfortunately, that doesn't help us locate him.”

That brought Ahsoka back to her plan. “Not alone, maybe.”

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, folding his arms. “What are you suggesting?”

“Separately, neither of us can sense where Anakin is,” Ahsoka began. “But if we try it together, I think we'll have a better chance.”

She couldn't be sure. But she'd seen great things happen when Jedi Masters meditated together in the past. And they were running out of options.

“It's certainly worth a shot,” Obi-Wan said slowly. He frowned. “But Ahsoka, a word of warning. If it works, amplifying this connection is... not going to be pleasant.”

Ahsoka lifted her chin. “I know.” If it helped her find Anakin, it would be worth it.

“Very well,” said Obi-Wan. He walked further away from the commotion of the troopers, then knelt on the ground. Ahsoka mirrored him. Had she ever meditated with Anakin's former Master before? Certainly not like this.

“Concentrate,” Obi-Wan said, closing his eyes. “You must focus on Anakin without allowing your mind to be clouded by fear or anger.”

Ahsoka closed her eyes as well, surprised to find that yes, she was angry and fearful, though she hadn't realized how much until now. She was angry at the separatists responsible for taking her Master. She was furious that they had dared to hurt him. And she was afraid that this wasn't going to work, that they would be too late to rescue him.

She took a deep breath in, processing the feelings. Then she let them go, and slowly, the outside world began to fade away.

Obi-Wan was a curious presence in the Force, she'd always thought so. He was nearly as calming as Master Yoda, though there was a mild reckless streak that was at least partly due to Anakin's influence. She wondered what he thought of her. If she was as much like her Master as everyone said she was.

_Focus._

Ahsoka used Obi-Wan's nearly unshakable calm as a grounding point. She reached out with the Force, drawing from Obi-Wans' power as well, and she could feel Obi-Wan doing the same with hers.

This time, when she sensed her Master, it was much clearer. If Obi-Wan's presence was the eye of the storm, calm and peaceful with a hint of something _more_ , Anakin's _was_ the storm, swirling with emotion and power. The phantom electricity felt nearly real, burning along her skin and it took all of her concentration not to shy away. She couldn't, not now.

But she still couldn't sense where Anakin was. The storm of emotions and torment was too distracting, and as much as Obi-Wan was helping, it wasn't enough. Frustration threatened to bring her back into reality.

“Ahsoka,” came Obi-Wan's voice, “what you're sensing are surface feelings. Concentrate.”

Ahsoka exhaled. “I'm trying, Master.”

Obi-Wan's _Jedi do not try_ didn't need to be spoken aloud. Ahsoka could feel it through the Force.

But that didn't help her focus.

“What comes to your mind when you think of Anakin? What are his defining traits?”

Ahsoka struggled to think through the pain and anger she was feeling from him now. “Recklessness” she said slowly. “Stubbornness. Determination.”

She could feel his amusement and knew he did not disagree. “What else?”

“Compassion,” Ahsoka realized. Most of what Anakin did was born out of his desire to save people. “Loyalty. And... kindness.”

It wasn't a word many would associate with her Master. But he _was_ kind. In the Force, she viewed Anakin as not a storm, but a river, sometimes wild and unpredictable, sometimes gentle and calm, always changing.

And then, she realized what Obi-Wan was trying to tell her. If she focused on the storm, the surface feelings, they would get nowhere. They needed to find the river.

Obi-Wan felt the shift in her focus. He harnessed the Force again, and together they reached out, beyond the immediate storm, searching for that stubbornness and the determination and the compassion-

And then the storm clouds vanished and something else took their place.

_A dark cell-_

_A tactical droid, carrying a remote-_

_“-don't have all day, Jedi-”_

_“-really? Cause I'm having a great time-”_

_-a press of the button and the phantom electricity was suddenly real-_

_-red dust gathering in the corners of the room-_

Ahsoka opened her eyes, jarring back to the shade of the walker. A moment later, Obi-Wan did the same. For a moment, they just stared at each other.

It had worked.

“Quadrant Three,” she said aloud, although she knew they'd seen the same things. The red dust in the cell was only found in that specific sector of the planet.

Obi-Wan nodded. “You did well, Ahsoka,” he said, rising to his feet. “You maintained your focus and controlled your feelings. Anakin would be proud.”

It was the best compliment he could have given her.

“Thank you, Master Kenobi.” Ahsoka smiled. “But I couldn't have done it alone.”

Obi-Wan inclined his head, returning the smile, and in that moment, Ahsoka felt, for the first time ever, like she had connected with Anakin's former Master.

It was rather fitting, Ahsoka thought, that Anakin had been the purpose to unite them.

“I'll inform the Admiral that he can go ahead with the airstrikes on the bases in quadrants four and one,” Obi-Wan said. There was a glint of determination in his eyes. “Gather the men. It's time to go.”

* * *

 

From there, it was a straightforward rescue mission. Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, Rex and a small group of clones split off from the forces in Quadrant Four and infiltrated the base in Quadrant Three. While Rex, Jesse and Hardcase caused a diversion, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and Kix, the medic, made their way to the further into the base.

This close to Anakin, it wasn't difficult to find him at all. All separatist compounds had such a similar layout that it was a simple task to find the detention block. And really, at the point, the Separatists should have known that a guarded cell was a good as a neon sign.

Ahsoka swallowed her apprehension as she she finished dismantling the last of the droids guarding the cell. Anakin was alive. That was the important thing.

But what kind of state was he in?

Anakin was hanging in a containment field when they burst into the cell. His head was down, and despite the fact that his body was twitching- an after effect of electric torture- Ahsoka thought he was unconscious.

And then he stirred. Slowly, with effort, he raised his head. “Hey, Snips,” he croaked. “What took you so long?”

Relief that could have belonged to any of them filled the Force. Ahsoka exchanged a look with Obi-Wan.

He was beaten, but not broken. Eventually, he would be alright.

“You're impossible,” Ahsoka said, but she was smiling as she cut him down.

* * *

 

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka had never been close.

Sure, all three of them worked well as a team, and Anakin knew they liked and respected one another, but they didn't have a bond like the one Anakin had with both of them. It had never affected their dynamic, and neither of them seemed bothered by this, and so Anakin didn't let it bother him either.

Something changed after Shadonar, though.

After all three separatist bases were destroyed and Anakin had spent some time in a bacta tank, the three of them ate dinner together in the dining area of the Resolute. Anakin was aware he bore resemblance to a nightsister and his metal arm had shorted out from all the electricity, but he had refused to stay in the medbay any longer.

Neither Obi-Wan or Ahsoka faulted him for this. If there was one thing they all shared, it was an immense dislike of bed rest.

“One thing I can't figure out,” Anakin said between bites, “is how you managed to find me. The separatists sounded pretty confident that their plan was foolproof.”

He didn't like to think about his period of captivity, but he remembered that tactical droid's smug attitude well. Anakin had been their immunity, if only for a short time. The Republic had not been able to attack the three bases until they knew which one Anakin was in, and the Separatists had guarded that secret well, even as they tortured him for information.

It brought him great satisfaction to know that tactical droid had been blown apart in the Republic airstrike.

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka exchanged a look. It was heavy with meaning Anakin didn't understand and that, _that_ was a first. He raised an eyebrow.

“You're pretty easy to find if you know what to look for,” Ahsoka said with a shrug, picking up her fork.

“Yeah? And what's that?”

“Oh, you know.” Ahsoka waved her fork vaguely. “Stubbornness, impatience...”

“Recklessness,” Obi-Wan added from across the table. Anakin shot him a betrayed glare.

“I didn't even do anything! This time,” he tacked on, as both his Master and Padawan turned matching disbelieving stares on him.

“You didn't need to, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, and they left it at that.

Now he was _really_ curious to know what had happened in his absence. But the Force around the two of them was clear and relaxed and he supposed he could let it go.

One thing was obvious. Whatever it was, it had brought the two of them closer. Anakin really couldn't argue with those results.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm behind!! I'm sorry!! Work and sleep are seriously interfering with my ability to write.
> 
> Also I hope you enjoyed reading this a lot more than I enjoyed writing it.


	23. Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka and Anakin go undercover at a Separatist gala.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 23- Dance

Ahsoka hated going undercover.

It was humiliating, exhausting, and involved a level of acting skills that she just didn't have. She always knew where she stood with the battle droids and separatist generals- they were out to kill her. Undercover missions were different. There were so many grey areas and Ahsoka didn't always know how to act around the enemy when she wasn't aiming a lightsaber at them.

Fortunately, walking around a gala on the snowy Separatist word of Bentera wasn't so bad. Separatist leaders and politicians threw galas the same way the Republic senators did, and Ahsoka had been to a few of those. Bentera had delicious food, kind people, and the planet's capital, where the gala was being held, was high up in the mountains. The elaborate hall overlooked both the sparkling lights of the city of Aris and the shadowy mountains beyond.

If it weren't for the battle droids standing guard at the doors, Ahsoka could have easily forgotten she wasn't in Republic territory.

“Have you discovered anything so far?” a voice said from behind her. Ahsoka shook her head.

“No. You?”

Anakin walked up beside her. He was wearing his hair styled up, away from his forehead and lenses had changed his eye colour to brown. They were both dressed in navy, though Ahsoka wished she could have worn a suit like Anakin, or at least a shorter dress. She hated fighting in long, flowing outfits, and if they had to fight their way out of here, this beautiful, shimmering dress was likely not going to make it out in one piece.

“All anyone's talked about so far is petty gossip, boring politics and their hatred of the war,” Anakin said. “Nothing unusual.” He reached for a drink as a server passed them, the perfect picture of casual, but Ahsoka knew he was alert, watching and listening for anything that would lead them to their goal.

“Ah, young man, I don't believe we've had the pleasure.” A Siniteen delegate appeared by Anakin's side. He was short, just barely reaching Anakin's shoulders, and there was a pleasant smile on his face that looked just a bit too forced. “I am Kas Smarasan, representative here on behalf of Senator Lawise.”

Ahsoka had seen Senator Lawise before, when she'd accompanied Padme to Mandalore to hold peace talks with the Separatists. She was suddenly very glad he wasn't here- he hadn't paid much attention to her then, and Ahsoka had altered her facial markings with makeup, but there was a still a chance the Rattataki Senator would have recognized her.

“I'm Darius Aviro, Chairman of Venaxus,” Anakin said putting on a haughty voice that reminded Ahsoka of Master Kenobi when he was particularly exasperated. “It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Ahsoka didn't know if the real Darius Aviro would be pleased to make his acquaintance. Likely, he didn't even know this gala was happening. His invitation had been intercepted by the Republic, and now Anakin and Ahsoka were here instead.

“Venaxus!” said Smarasan heartily. “I've heard good things about Venaxus, been meaning to visit for ages- I was so glad when I heard you had decided to join the Separatists.”

“Thank you, representative Smarasan,” Anakin said. His white-gloved hands were clenched behind his back even as he gave the Siniteen his most charming smile.

Smarasan turned his attention to Ahsoka. His false grin widened. “And who might you be?”

“That's my aide, Sorris Arandaa,” Anakin said, tone dismissive. Ahsoka had heavily protested being an aide when they were assigning roles for this mission, but as Anakin had pointed out, at sixteen, there weren't a lot of other roles available to her. She couldn't exactly be a Senator.

“A pleasure, my dear,” Smarasan said. He bent down to kiss her hand, and Anakin and Ahsoka exchanged a _why us_ look for the hundredth time that night.

This was punishment, Ahsoka thought, for all the ways they'd 'creatively' obeyed the Jedi Council. That's the only way they could have reasoned that sending the two of them to mingle with politicians- _Separatist_ politicians- was a good idea.

_This will all be worth it in the end,_ Ahsoka told herself, and that helped restrain herself from using the hand he was kissing to slap him.

Anakin excused them both after that, and they made their way to the side of the hall. “Having fun yet, Snips?” he asked dryly as they weaved around delegates from many different systems. It was jarring to realize how many worlds were joining the Separatists.

“Not really, _Darius,_ ” Ahsoka replied. Her feet ached from the too-fancy shoes and they'd only been there for around two hours. This was going to be a long night.

“Let's keep looking,” Anakin said. He adjusted the white Venaxian sash on his right shoulder, looking as uncomfortable in his suit as she felt in her dress. “Remember, if you see anything unusual, comm me.”

“Yes, Master,” Ahsoka said. There was a comlink in a hidden pocket in her dress. That was one of the only upsides of this mission. She'd never worn a dress with pockets before.

“Excuse me,” said a voice from behind them. Ahsoka turned to see a young human woman approaching them. She wore the traditional gold Benterian headdress that Ahsoka had seen on all of the planet's officials so far, but she was far younger than most. Part of her long black hair was done in an elaborate bun, the rest fell loose down her back. She wasn't wearing a dress and Ahsoka took a moment to be envious of the dark red sleeveless suit under a matching gold embroidered cape. It contrasted nicely with her brown skin.

Anakin's charming smile was back in a flash. “Senator Kardalla,” he said with a nod. “So good to finally meet you. I'm Darius Aviro, of Venaxus.”

“Thank you for coming, Chairman Aviro,” the Senator of Bentera told him. “In times of trouble, it is important to show unity, wouldn't you agree?”

“Yes, of course,” Anakin said. It was the first sincere thing Ahsoka had heard from him all night.

“Chairman,” she said to Anakin. “Would you like another drink?”

That was their code for _I'm going to go look around._ “Please,” Anakin said briskly. If one of them was caught up in political conversation, the other might as well keep their eyes open.

“Wait,” said Senator Kardalla. To Ahsoka, she said, “What I came to ask is- may I have the next dance?”

Ahsoka used the cover of her long dress to nudge her Master's foot. _Don't worry, Snips,_ he'd said. _If you're playing the part of an aide, you won't have to dance,_ he'd said.

Anakin's apology was an attempt to save her. “I- that's just my aide, Senator,” he said with a convincing laugh of disbelief. “If it's a dance you want, I would be happy to-”

“That's very kind of you, Chairman Aviro, and if you would like a dance later, I'll be happy to oblige,” Senator Kardalla said. “But I would like to dance with her now.” She turned warm brown eyes on Ahsoka. “If that's alright.”

It would have been rude to decline a dance from the host of the gala, even Ahsoka knew that. She accepted the Senator's outstretched hand and walked with her out to the centre of the hall, where there was already a slight crowd. She risked a quick glance back, just to shoot a look at her Master. He just shrugged helplessly.

“You should probably know that I'm not very good at this,” Ahsoka said apologetically as she faced Kardalla. What would an aide do in this situation? She tried to remember the interactions she'd seen between Senator Amidala and her handmaidens.

“That's all right,” Kardalla said. “I'll lead. Just do what I do, and you'll be fine.”

Kardalla made it look easy. She moved and swayed with the music in a way that was foreign to Ahsoka. Her cape swished behind her like water with every step. In comparison, Ahsoka felt awkward in her long dress and pointy shoes.

Eventually, though, it got easier. It was a bit like sparring, just a little more graceful, and when she figured that out, her feet finally decided to cooperate. All the same, she decided to forgo any attempt at acting. That was hard enough when she wasn't trying not to step on the toes of a Separatist Senator.

“You're a quick learner,” Kardalla said with a approving smile.

“You're a good teacher,” Ahsoka said, almost grudgingly. It was difficult to admit that the Separatists were good at anything, but it helped that this one was nicer than most.

The music was just slow enough that Ahsoka could follow the steps, but fast enough to be energetic and almost... fun. Was she really having fun dancing with a Separatist?

“We haven't been formally introduced,” the Senator said during a lull. “I am Saratai Kardalla, Senator of Bentera.”

“I'm Sorris Arranda,” Ahsoka said, scrambling to remember her false identity for the night. “Chairman Aviro's aide.” It rolled off her tongue naturally enough.

Saratai Kardalla studied her for a moment. “You called the Chairman _Master._ Why?”

Ahsoka winced internally. That had been her mistake. “It's not what you think. Where I come from, it's a sign of respect.” She didn't know about Venaxus, but it was certainly true of her own life.

Saratai didn't respond to that. She stepped away, pulled Ahsoka in, then spun them around. She was still studying Ahsoka, even as they danced, and unease began to gather in Ahsoka's chest.

“Why did you want to dance with me, and not the Chairman?” she asked. “You didn't even know my name.”

The silence continued a moment longer. Abruptly, she twirled Ahsoka and turned that twirl into a dip. Knocked off balance, Ahsoka was forced to grab Saratai's shoulders to steady herself. She waited for Saratai to pull her up, but the Senator held that position as the music slowed.

“I'll answer your question,” Saratai Kardalla said with a small grin, “if _you_ tell me your real name.”

If this were a spar, Ahsoka would be pinned to the ground.

She tared up at the Senator, trying to gauge how much she'd figured out. There was still a hint of a smile at the corner of her lips, but her eyes were steady. Saratai didn't suspect- she knew.

Several half formed plans flew through her head. She could easily break Saratai's hold on her, alert Anakin and get out, but that would be a mission failure, which wasn't an option. She could make a scene and escape in the chaos- also a mission failure. She could figure out a way to press that comlink and let her Master know they'd been compromised.

Or... she could play along for now, see what Saratai wanted.

“I'm Ahsoka Tano,” she said, too quiet for anyone else to hear. Saratai nodded. Her expression was friendly, and unlike Kas Smarasan, it was not a false one.

“A pleasure to meet you, Ahsoka Tano.” She pulled Ahsoka upright and the dance continued, although Saratai's hands on her now felt more dangerous than they had a minute ago.

She didn't sense immediate danger from the Benteran Senator though. She was... _curious._ It was rare that she met a Separatist that didn't think with their weapons, but Saratai hadn't tried anything so far. Somehow, she'd found out that Ahsoka and Anakin weren't who they appeared to be.

And instead of having them arrested, she'd asked Ahsoka to dance.

“What do you want?” Ahsoka asked.

“It's like I said,” Saratai told her, “I want a dance. And-” she spun them around again- “I want to know why the Republic has sent Jedi to Bentera.”

“What makes you think I'm a Jedi?”

Saratai gave her a look. “You're too young to be anything else, Ahsoka Tano.”

“You're not so much older than I am, Senator,” Ahsoka said, eyes narrowed. It was true- even dressed up like she was, Saratai Kardalla couldn't have been much older than eighteen. Naboo and Onderon weren't the only planets that got their children involved in politics early in life.

Saratai twirled away, and when they came back together, Ahsoka was leading the dance. It was an intentional transfer of power on the Senator's part. What exactly was she playing at?

“It's a nice evening, isn't it?” Saratai remarked. “It would be a shame if it was ruined by the war, as so many peaceful nights have been in the past.”

“I'm not here to cause trouble,” Ahsoka told her. Not unless she had to. “One of the delegates in this room has something that belongs to the Republic. I'm here to get it back.” She was careful to keep Anakin out of the conversation, even if she knew he was already involved. No need to invite trouble where there wasn't any.

Saratai looked amused. “You know, Ahsoka, hyperspace lanes do not _belong_ to the Republic. Yes, I thought that's what you were after,” she said in response to Ahsoka's startled expression. “Why do you think you have any more right to that intel than the Separatist Alliance?”

“I-” Ahsoka shook her head. “It's not about who has the _right_ to the hyperspace lanes, Senator. If those coordinates reach someone like Grievous or Dooku, they could be used to take thousands of lives. _Innocent_ lives.”

Senators were the same the galaxy over, Ahsoka thought as the dance continued. You couldn't play fair, not in a war like this, no matter what they seemed to think.

“This is not a one-sided war,” Saratai reminded her. “Those hyperspace lanes run through both Republic and Separatist territory. If they reached _your_ military leaders, do you think the result would be different?”

Ahsoka started to say yes, then thought about it. If she and Anakin could retrieve the data file of hyperspace routes from the Senator who was set to deliver it to a Separatist General at tonight's gala, the Republic would also use those coordinates for military purposes. But whereas the Republic would use the hyperspace lanes to liberate worlds under Separatist occupation, the Separatists would only enslave more planets.

The motivation from both sides were different. But the end result would be more fighting.

“Honestly?” she said to Saratai. “I'm... not sure. This war isn't as straightforward as I once thought it was.”

“I don't disagree,” Saratai replied. “But... that's an unusual response for a Jedi.” She stepped away, then let Ahsoka pull her back in. The music was faster now, sending couples spinning around them, but Ahsoka paid them little attention.

“You're a Separatist. How would you know?”

Saratai offered her a sad smile. “I wasn't always one. Bentera only left the Republic two years ago. Coruscant used to be like a second home to me.”

Ahsoka looked down. The war had divided so many, changed billions of lives. Sometimes, she forgot that there were people on the other side that were suffering as well.

She didn't ask why Bentera had decided to join the Separatists. She didn't challenge Senator Kardalla's beliefs. They would not change each other's minds today.

“One day, this war is going to end,” she said quietly. “When that happens, you'll be able to peacefully travel to Coruscant again.”

Saratai considered her for a moment. “Is that Jedi intuition?”

Ahsoka shook her head as they sidestepped a Neimoidian couple. “Just... hope.”

“Hope,” Saratai repeated. “You've surprised me, Ahsoka Tano.” She smiled. “In a good way.”

The song was ending. Saratai swung Ahsoka into a dip once more, but this time, her hands felt less threatening. It was not a move of power, but simply part of the dance. She didn't know what would happen when the music stopped, but the Force surrounding Saratai contained no ill will.

Saratai's cape fell over her left shoulder, effectively shielding them from the outside world. She sighed heavily as she looked down at Ahsoka.

“Sorris Arranda, I hate to say it, but I think your time as an aide to the Chairman is just about up.”

Ahsoka narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Saratai said, “there is an important data chip in my pocket.”

It was like a lightning strike of realization.

The Senator had been Saratai all along.

“In five minutes, I am to deliver this data file to that gentleman in the silver suit, down by the dessert table,” Saratai continued. “Unfortunately, when I go to hand it to him, I will find that the data chip has gone missing.” Her frown was ruined by her sparkling eyes. “Perhaps I made a mistake by dancing with that aide earlier.”

_Oh._

“Maybe,” Ahsoka agreed. She used the Force to locate the data chip, then gently floated it between them and into her own pocket, invisible to the gala around them. She looked up at Saratai. “But _I_ think you did the right thing.”

The music came to a slow end. Saratai helped Ahsoka right herself. “Please,” she said softly, “deliver that to the Jedi and not the Republic Senate. I think it will do less damage in your hands.”

“I will, Senator.” Ahsoka took half a step back, then thought of something. “You... _did_ say you would tell me why you wanted to dance with me.”

Saratai shrugged, smiled a little. Her calm mask cracked to reveal a hint of embarrassment. “Self indulgence, Ahsoka. Even if we are on opposing sides, I wanted to.”

“Oh.” Ahsoka looked down, fighting a blush. A warm, familiar feeling curled in her chest. “Well. I'm glad you did.”

She hadn't expected to be saying those words at the end of any dance, let alone one with a Separatist. But they were true.

She found the warmth reflected back at her in Saratai's eyes. “Me too.”

A new song started up, more upbeat than the last. Saratai hesitated, then nodded to Ahsoka and with a swirl of her cape, she had disappeared into the crowd. Ahsoka stood there a moment longer, then headed back to her Master, pocket heavy with the data chip and mind filled with things to process.

_It's always the Separatist Senators,_ she thought ruefully.

Anakin was standing with his arms crossed near the stage. He nodded with approval as she approached. “Not bad,” he said. “You didn't blow our cover.”

“Not... exactly,” Ahsoka hedged, and Anakin gave her a look.

“How do you _not exactly_ blow our cover?”

“Senator Kardalla already knew.”

“ _What_?” She watched as her Master went into high alert, scanning the crowed for Saratai. “And you let her get away? Ahsoka-”

“I'll explain on the way,” Ahsoka said quickly. “But we need to get out of here.”

“After three hours of _mingling_ with politicians?” Anakin shook his head. “We're not leaving without the data chip.”

Ahsoka patted her pocket, watching out of the corner of her eye as across the room, Saratai walked up to the man in the silver suit. “I have it. Come on. It's probably best if we're not here when Kardalla's contact discovers she doesn't have the intel.”

Anakin's confusion was palpable as they quickly made their way out of the hall. As soon as they were outside, they broke into a run, racing through the dark, snowy streets of Aris. Ahsoka winced as the cold seeped into her useless shoes.

“Next time we go undercover,” she called to Anakin, “why don't _you_ wear the impractical clothing for once?”

“Hey, I did my fair share of uncomfortable missions when I was a Padawan,” Anakin replied. “When you're a Jedi Master, _you_ can make the rules.”

Eventually, they came to a halt in an abandoned alley. Anakin pulled out his comm to let the Republic know they were ready for pickup, then turned to Ahsoka, folding his arms.

“Alright. Explain to me how you went to dance with the host of that gala and came back with the data chip we needed.”

“The Separatists must have known the Republic was sending someone to infiltrate the gala,” Ahsoka began. “Saratai figured out it was us. I think... that she must have known what the Separatist army planned to do with the data chip, so she decided to give us a chance, to see if the Republic was a better option.”

Anakin shook his head. “How did you get her to trust you? Why did you trust _her?_ ”

“I took a page out of Master Kenobi's book and decided not to jump to conclusions,” Ahsoka told him. “Master, not all Separatists are as bad as you think they are.”

Anakin regarded her, searching her face for something. “I'm not sure your feelings on this matter are entirely clear, Snips.”

Ahsoka crossed her arms, mirroring him. “Maybe yours aren't, either.” Anakin had a bit of a radical view on the Separatists. She didn't fault him for it, but it didn't mean he was right.

Anakin visibly decided to drop it. “In any case, I've had quite enough of politicians for one night.”

“ _That_ I can agree with,” Ahsoka said. She sighed, suddenly feeling drained from an entire evening of socializing with the Separatists. “I'm almost looking forward to fighting battle droids again.”

Anakin peered out of the alleyway, checking to make sure the coast was clear. “Cmon. We need to get this data chip back to the Republic.”

“Master,” Ahsoka said, remembering something, “I promised Senator Kardalla that I would bring it directly to the Jedi Council.”

“Alright,” Anakin told her. “But Ahsoka, what happens to it after that isn't up to us.”

“I know,” Ahsoka said. She had to trust that the Council would do what was best. But she was doing was she thought was right.

That was all she- or Saratai Kardalla- could do.

Anakin nodded, then motioned for her to follow him as he took off down the street. Ahsoka paused for a moment. She kicked off her ruined heels, feeling immense satisfaction in leaving them behind to be buried in the fresh powder.

With a final look behind her, she followed her Master into the swirling snow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why these keep ending up so long tbh


	24. Forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin wakes up after death to a familiar voice calling his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 24- Forgiven

_There were masks dancing all around him in the darkness._

_“He is not worthy.” That was the angry mask._

_“Nonsense.” The serene mask._

_“He is still too angry.” This was the sad mask._

_“No, can you not feel it? He has done it. He has finally achieved balance.” The joyful mask had a voice to match._

_“Why, have you brought him before us? Why?” Confusion peered down at him._

_“Because he has brought balance to the Force at last.” That voice. That voice was familiar. He could not remember his own name, but he knew that voice._

_“He has faced his great trials,” said the serene mask. “He has defeated the evil, both within and around him. He died knowing who he truly was.”_

_“This is his destiny!” exclaimed the joyful one._

_“He does not deserve this,” said anger._

_“That,” said the serene one, “is why it is called the Great Gift.”_

 

* * *

 

Anakin awoke into darkness with someone calling his name.

His _real_ name, not the Sith name he had used for over twenty years. And this voice was not speaking his name with malice, or fear, or anger, or any of the emotions he was used to hearing directed towards himself, but with the air of... an old friend.

“Anakin.”

The voice was _familiar._ Lilting, rough with age like he'd never heard outside his helmet, but light all the same.

His helmet. He wasn't wearing his helmet. There were no mechanical body parts weighing him down, no life support forcing air into his lungs, no pain.

There was no pain.

_Luke,_ was his next thought, and then Anakin remembered.

He had killed Palpatine. His son was safe. He was free.

He was also dead.

Anakin blinked, then blinked again. How was he still existing? He remembered the moment of his death, how his consciousness had simply disappeared, like a light switching off. After everything he'd done, after all of his crimes against the galaxy, if there was an afterlife, he had expected to have no part in that. He'd made his peace with that before he died.

“Anakin,” the voice said again, and Anakin's consciousness turned to ice.

_Obi-Wan._

If this was an afterlife, perhaps it was hell, where he was doomed to be tortured by his mistakes, all the people he'd once loved whose lives he'd destroyed. Padme was at the top of the list. Obi-Wan was number two.

“Leave me be!” he called into the blackness, then snapped his mouth shut.

His own voice- he hadn't heard it sound like that since... since the clone war.

“What trickery is that?” he whispered.

In front of him, a bright light appeared. The light grew, expanding like a supernova. That supernova grew arms, legs and a head, and suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi was standing before him.

This was a version of his Master that he had glimpsed only briefly, several years before on the first death star. His beard and hair were white, his face lined, but his eyes were the same as Anakin remembered from his youth.

For a moment, they looked at each other. Years of hatred and pain and sorrow stretched between them, closing Anakin's throat and rendering him unable to speak. What could he say? What he had done to Obi-Wan was unforgivable.

He closed his eyes, glanced away.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said again, but this time his voice was younger. Anakin looked up to see the Obi-Wan Kenobi of twenty three years ago standing in front of him. He wore no battle armour, just the long Jedi robes of his older self.

“How,” Anakin choked out, “can you even stand to _look_ at me?”

“Because yours is a face I thought I would never see again,” Obi-Wan replied. “You have done the impossible, Anakin. You have redeemed yourself and brought balance to the Force.”

“That was my son,” Anakin said, and a sort of fierce pride simmered within him at the words. He did not have a lot to be proud of in his life. He could not take credit for the man Luke had become- he had done that in spite of Anakin, not because of him. But he was proud anyway, that something good existed in the galaxy because of him.

“Luke did not kill the Emperor,” Obi-Wan said. “He may have had a hand in your redemption, but ultimately, the choice was yours to make.”

After all these years, Obi-Wan had not lost his lecturing tone. Anakin felt an irrational urge to laugh.

“Where are we?” he asked instead.

“This is the netherworld of the Force.”

That didn't sound like hell. Anakin glanced around. Now that he wasn't so disoriented, he could feel the Force as he never had before. It wasn't around him. It _was_ him.

And it was untainted and pure for the first time that he could remember.

“Why am I... here?”

Why was he conscious? Why did he have eyes to blink and emotions to feel? Was this a trick?

Obi-Wan stepped closer, reading the expression on his face. “It's not a trick, Anakin. For all the Sith promises of stopping death, they could never have achieved true immortality. Their selfishness and hatred blinded them to the secret of retaining one's consciousness after death.”

“Then, how-?”

“You died in an unselfish act,” Obi-Wan said. “You killed the Emperor and saved your son. You died not as Darth Vader, but as Anakin Skywalker. You returned from the dark side and because of this, you have been granted a gift.”

Anakin had fully expected to never wake up again. It would have been the kindest option he could think of, after what he'd done. And instead, he'd been given life after death.

He frowned, remembering something. “I saw... masks. Just after I died. There were masks all around me.”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said. “Those were the Five Priestesses. They are ancient beings who exist in a state between the Living and Cosmic Force. They decide who is worthy of the Great Gift.”

“They were arguing,” Anakin recalled. “They didn't want me to have it.” He could understand why. He would have argued against it, too.

“Some of them,” Obi-Wan agreed. “But with some persuading, they were able to see what I did- that you have brought balance to the Force and fulfilled the Prophecy.”

Anakin stared at him. “You argued on my behalf. You went before the Priestesses for me.”

“I did.”

Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, who had practically raised him after he'd left Tatooine as a boy. Obi-Wan, who was the closest friend he'd ever had. Obi-Wan, who left him to burn beside a river of lava after Anakin had destroyed everything he loved.

Obi-Wan, who Anakin had cut in half, nineteen years later.

He found himself speechless.

Obi-Wan had no reason to still care about him, not after everything. And to give him a second chance...

“I don't understand,” he said. _“Why?”_

Obi-Wan glanced down, a shadow crossing his face. “For years, I was unable to see that there was still good in you. I was so caught up in my own feelings that I was convinced you were lost forever.” When he looked at Anakin again, it was with a faint but sincere smile. “I have never been so happy to be wrong.”

“I'm sorry, Master,” Anakin whispered. “I'm so sorry. For everything.” For the death star. For Mustafar, and the Jedi Purge. For keeping secrets he shouldn't have. For every bit of pain he had caused Obi-Wan since the beginning.

“I am no longer your Master,” Obi-Wan said, “but if I have one thing left to teach you, it's that everyone deserves forgiveness.” And, as if he could read Anakin's mind, he added gently, “even you.”

Anakin closed his eyes, emotion threatening to overcome him like it had not in years. “If this is out of some misplaced sense of duty-”

“Duty? _Anakin.”_ There was the exasperation he remembered so well. “You were my closest friend and for years, not a day went by that I did not regret what happened between us. I went before the Priestesses not out of a sense of duty, but because I _could._ ”

“For a long time, bending the rules for you, Obi-Wan has been,” said another familiar voice, and Anakin swallowed against another wave of confused emotions as Master Yoda blinked into existence. “Break this habit, he does not intend to.”

Anakin did the only thing he could think of. He bowed, going on one knee as he had become used to. “Master Yoda. I...”

He trailed off. “Sorry” seemed too small of a word when he thought about all he had done.

“Forgiven you, Obi-Wan and I have, Skywalker,” Yoda said. “Time to forgive yourself, it is.”

That, Anakin thought, was going to take a very long time. But looking into Yoda's eyes, he saw no condemnation, and it eased the burden from his chest.

“Excuse me, Master, but bending the rules?” Obi-Wan said. “All I did was summon the Priestesses before Anakin's consciousness faded into the Cosmic Force. How is that bending the rules?”

“Not to be intervened with, is fate,” Yoda told him. “Selfish, your reasoning was, hmm?”

“It was the will of the Force for Anakin to receive the gift,” Obi-Wan maintained, but even after all this time, Anakin could read the slight defensiveness in his shimmering frame.

“Perhaps,” Yoda said, “coincided, the will of the Force and your will have.”

Anakin glanced between Yoda and Obi-Wan, something foreign rising in him. It was a feeling that washed away the guilt and the heavy sadness, one that made him feel lighter.

He was free. He was forgiven. He was _wanted._

With a start, Anakin realized that he was happy.

“Regardless of intent,” Obi-Wan said, “Anakin, you are now free to travel back and forth to the realm of the Living Force, as a spirit.”

_Luke,_ Anakin thought. He could go and see his son, perhaps attempt to make amends with his daughter. There were so many possibilities open to him now that he felt almost overwhelmed.

It really was a second chance.

He didn't deserve it. Obi-Wan and Yoda both knew that. The Priestesses had known that too.

But maybe forgiveness was not something that was earned. It was a gift in itself.

Anakin stood, coming face to face with Obi-Wan. For a moment, he studied the face he had not seen since half a lifetime ago. All those years of pain and sorrow still existed between them, but at the moment, they seemed very far away. That unbridgeable gap now seemed smaller.

“I... don't know what to say,” he admitted. “Thank you, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan inclined his head. His eyes were bright and there was a hint of his old smile on his lips. “You're welcome, Anakin.” He lifted his chin, staring at things Anakin could not yet see. “Now,” he said, “shall we pay your son a visit?”

 

* * *

 

Obi-Wan showed him how to separate his consciousness from the Force just enough to return to the corporal world. He was already fading from Anakin's view as Anakin concentrated, and he noticed Obi-Wan was starting to return to his elder form.

He supposed it made sense. Luke knew him quite differently than Anakin did, and Force ghosts could apparently take different forms from within their lives.

Luke had never seen Anakin this young. Would he even recognize him? Even if Anakin knew how to return to the form of his disfigured 43-year-old self, he did not know if he would.

The passage back into the physical world was unlike anything Anakin had experienced before. It was nearly painful to tear himself away from the complete serenity of the Force. To slowly regain awareness of worldly surroundings was jarring. He grounded himself using the presences of Obi-Wan and Yoda beside him.

The first thing he saw was Obi-Wan, old in appearance, but younger in spirit than Anakin had felt in a long time.

The second thing he saw was his son, and he knew immediately that the trip had been worth it.

Luke's smile widened as Anakin joined Yoda and Obi-Wan. He beamed at his father, and Anakin's breath caught as Leia joined him. She hugged her brother and he turned his grin to her, unable to explain to her what he was seeing, but joyful all the same.

He found himself smiling as well. His children were safe. The darkness was gone.

And Anakin Skywalker was finally at peace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire collection is approximately 700 words away from being the longest work I've ever written.
> 
> (The Force Priestesses are from the Clone Wars if you didn't know.)


	25. Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin struggles with letting Ahsoka come on dangerous missions after what happened to her on Mortis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 25- Heartbeat.
> 
> This is one of those prompts that got away from it's original intention tbh.

He used to dream about the future. Of his mother in pain. Of her dying a terrible and agonizing death.

Now, Anakin dreamed of the past.

He dreamed of Ahsoka, glaring at him with fierce yellow eyes, twisted and dark.

Of, the Son, the simple way he'd killed her. “ _Thank you, your usefulness has come to an end.”_

He dreamed of the sickening sound of Ahsoka crumpling to the ground. Of forcing himself to move forward, falling to his knees beside her lifeless body.

He dreamed of checking for a heartbeat, a pulse, _anything,_ and finding nothing.

Mortis was destroyed and Ahsoka was alive. But the memory of what happened would not leave him alone.

Anakin slumped onto a bench in the Temple dining hall. He stared blankly at the cup of caf in his hands, only halfway paying attention to the world around him. He hadn't slept well the previous night, waking often with eyes of the dead swimming behind his vision.

Anakin downed half the cup of caf and shook his head, attempting to clear his mind. He knew he couldn't afford to be this unfocused. The Council was sending him out again that afternoon on a new assignment.

“Hey, Master,” Ahsoka said, sitting down across from him with a plate of food. She frowned as she took in his face. “Wow. You look terrible.”

Anakin shot her a halfhearted glare over the rim of his cup. “You know, I was going to let you out of meditation this morning, but now...”

“I just mean that you look like you haven't been sleeping well again,” Ahsoka corrected hastily. Her eyes softened. “Really. Is... everything okay?”

“Everything's fine,” Anakin told her. It was true. Nothing was _wrong._ It was just that he couldn't stop thinking about how close he'd been to losing her like his mother.

Ahsoka nodded. “Here,” she said, sliding her own cup of caf across the table. “I think you need this more than I do.”

Ahsoka always put way too much milk in hers, but Anakin accepted it anyway. “Thanks, Snips.”

_“Don't call me that. I hate it when you call me that!”_

He blinked away the memory, glancing down.

“We're heading out later, right?” Ahsoka said after she'd taken a bite of her breakfast, and Anakin paused in the middle of a sip of caf.

The mission was to a harsh Separatist planet with a toxic atmosphere. There, they would have to wear special biosuits and helmets while they completed their mission of destroying the shipyards. If their suits were compromised in any way, they would die almost immediately.

That was an unacceptable risk to share with his Padawan.

“Actually,” Anakin said, “you'll be staying behind on this one.”

Ahsoka put her fork down. “What? Why?”

_It's too dangerous,_ he thought. What he said was, “you're falling behind on your studies, Ahsoka. Besides, this will be a short assignment. I'll be back in a few days.”

Ahsoka frowned, crossing her arms on the table in front of her. “That's not fair. Why do you get to have all the fun?”

Anakin snorted. “We'll see who's had more fun once I get back.”

Ahsoka was disappointed. But she would be safe, and that was more important.

* * *

 

A few weeks later saw Anakin on the bridge of the Resolute. He was monitoring it's progress through hyperspace when the doors opened and Obi-Wan walked in.

“Ah, Master,” Anakin said as Obi-Wan joined him at the console. “We'll be coming out of hyperspace in a minute.”

“Good,” Obi-Wan said. “Anakin, I've been meaning to ask- where is your Padawan?”

“Ahsoka?” Anakin straightened up. “She's... back at the Temple.”

“Oh? What's wrong?”

“Nothing's _wrong_ ,” Anakin said evasively. “I just don't think this is a good mission for her, that's all.”

He hoped Obi-Wan would leave it at that. But he could feel Obi-Wan's eyes on him, even as he stayed focused on the navicomputer in front of him. “I imagine Ahsoka didn't take that well.”

“Not exactly,” Anakin said. “You know, sometimes I regret not listening to you when I was a Padawan, now that I know what it's like from the other side.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “If only that were true,” he said ruefully. “Maybe you would listen to me _now_.”

“I do listen to you.” Anakin considered that. “Most of the time.”

“You do know how to lead by example.” Obi-Wan's tone was dry. “But Anakin- this is the third time this month that you've left Ahsoka at the Temple.”

Anakin's mouth tightened. It wasn't as if he hadn't been letting her join assignments at all. But he'd realized that perhaps he was being too careless as Master. He wouldn't make that fatal mistake again.

“You didn't take me on every mission when I was your Padawan,” he reminded Obi-Wan.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said. “But that wasn't a decision I made out of fear.”

His metal hand clenched reflexively. “What are you saying?”

“Anakin. Have you told Ahsoka what happened to her on Mortis?”

Anakin glanced sharply at Obi-Wan. “No. It's better this way.”

“Is it really? You're leaving your Padawan behind at the first hint of danger and you won't even tell her why.”

“The first hint of-” Anakin shook his head. “Obi-Wan, some of these missions are far too dangerous for Padawans, even of Ahsoka's level. I'm just... trying to be more careful.”

“Maybe you should tell _her_ that.”

“She won't understand.” _'Too dangerous'_ was not a term that existed in Ahsoka's vocabulary.

“I think you're underestimating her,” Obi-Wan said. “You've trained her well. She can take care of herself.”

“We're coming out of hyperspace,” Anakin said, turning back to his console. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Obi-Wan shake his head.

“Alright. But Anakin, if you won't tell her what happened, at least start letting her join the bigger missions again. She isn't going to tolerate this forever.”

Anakin frowned to himself. He hated to admit it, but Obi-Wan wasn't wrong.

* * *

 

Two months after Mortis, Anakin, Obi-Wan and a small squad of clones were assigned to break into the Citadel, a prison in which Jedi Master Evan Piell, holder of the Nexus Route coordinates, was being held by the Separatists.

No one had successfully infiltrated the Citadel before. It was a place designed to hold Jedi. It was critical that they got Master Piell out safely. And it was definitely not an assignment he would have ever let Ahsoka join, regardless of the circumstances.

“Hey, Snips,” Anakin said, rubbing the effects of carbon freezing out of his stiff joints.

“Hey, Master,” Ahsoka replied, wincing as she stretched, and Anakin realized with a sinking feeling, that Obi-Wan had been right after all.

He reprimanded her in front of the rest of the team, which he wouldn't normally do, but his composure for the mission had been shaken. He couldn't send her back. It was far too late for that. Now he would have to break into the Citadel, rescue Master Piell and get out, all the while watching out for his apprentice.

He was angry, yes, but at the heart of that anger was fear.

“I gave you a specific order not to come.”

Ahsoka wasn't backing down. “If there's one thing I've learned from you, Master, it's that following direct orders isn't always the best way to solve a problem.”

Before Anakin could say anything else, Obi-Wan joined them. “I see Anakin's new teaching method is to 'do as I say, not as I do',” he said. He smiled warmly at Ahsoka. “Welcome aboard.”

_Thanks a lot, Obi-Wan._

Anakin sighed. “Go help the men prepare the supplies,” he told Ahsoka, and watched as she ran off.

“I did warn you,” Obi-Wan said mildly beside him. Anakin turned his glare to his Master.

“Did you know about this?”

“No,” Obi-Wan said, “but maybe it's a good thing she's here. It might be good for you to see that she's capable of more than you think.”

“Or, she's going to get herself killed,” Anakin muttered. “Thanks for your help back there, by the way.”

“My pleasure,” Obi-Wan said with a quirk of his lips, then stepped away to assist the clones.

Great. Now both his Master and Padawan were working against him.

 

The mission didn't go as planned, Of course it didn't.

Upon closer observation of the enormous prison, they found that the wind was too great for jetpacks and there was nowhere to put a grappling hook without triggering one of the electromines that covered the face of the building. They were forced to free-climb the wall up to the entry point into the Citadel.

There, they discovered that the door was locked. Their mission was nearly over before it began- hundreds of feet above a lake of molten sulfer with nowhere else to go, their capture seemed almost inevitable.

And then, by squeezing through the ventilation ducts too small for the rest of them and opening the door from the inside, Ahsoka proved herself to be an invaluable member of the team.

When Anakin joined her, she was wearing a satisfied expression. “See? I can handle myself after all.”

Anakin just shook his head. He had never doubted _her_. It was the circumstances around her he didn't trust.

But... he _was_ impressed.

They came to Lola Sayu with eleven people- three Jedi, eight highly trained clones. As they moved through the Citadel, facing traps and large squadrons, their number dwindled. Once rescued, Even Piell and his five officers became a huge assist, but even those added troops could not be everywhere.

Separated from his Padawan and in the middle of fighting a herd of Anoobas, Anakin felt a terrible shift in the Force. He faltered. The last time he'd felt a shift that drastic was on-

No. Not again. Heart pounding, Anakin reached out blindly with his senses, bracing himself to be met with a void where his Padawan should be.

He had felt that once. He never wanted to feel that again.

To his relief, he was met with a familiar Force presence, tinged with devastation, but _alive._ He relaxed, but only slightly. What had caused that shift?

It wasn't until the battle was over that Ahsoka appeared out of the smoke. She was carrying a body, and Anakin's heart sank.

The disturbance in the Force had indeed been the death of a Jedi. Just not the one he'd feared.

Ahsoka didn't take her eyes off of Master Piell. “He died... honourably.”

Anakin hated to ask, but he had to. “What about the information?”

“I have it.” Ahsoka's shoulders were slumped. “He told me just before he died.”

Ahsoka should not have been on this mission in the first place. And now, as one of the two people carrying the Nexus Route coordinates, she was the most important part of it.

Anakin looked away. If Ahsoka hadn't been with them, they would have failed a long time ago.

And he didn't know how to feel about that.

By the time the extraction team got the survivors out, only six of the original rescue team remained- Anakin, Obi-Wan, Rex, Fives, Cody and Ahsoka. They had lost ARC Trooper Echo, Master Evan Piell, and eight other clone troopers to the Citadel.

The Citadel was not a place for Padawans, as he had said to Ahsoka at the beginning of the mission. But wasn't a place for Jedi Masters, either.

Obi-Wan waited until they were back at the Temple to bring it up. “Your Padawan did well, Anakin.”

Anakin sighed. “I'm still not convinced that Master Plo gave her permission to come along.”

“Neither am I,” said Obi-Wan. “But you cannot deny the fact that we would have likely failed the mission without her.”

“I know.” Anakin folded his arms. “But don't tell _her_ that. I don't want her to think sneaking along is always the right thing to do.”

“The next time you face a difficult mission,” Obi-Wan said, “I hope she doesn't have to.”

Anakin didn't reply to that. The mission to the Citadel had opened his eyes to a simple truth that he had forgotten in the wake of Mortis- the war could take any of them, at any time. It did not choose between the young and the old, the experienced and the inexperienced, the Masters and the Padawans. It took who was closest, who was in the way, whoever was convenient.

He was not ready for the war to take Ahsoka. But he couldn't shield her from it either. He could only prepare her.

 

* * *

 

He dreamed of cold, dead eyes and a lifeless body, though this time it was floating down the sulfer rivers on Lola Sayu. When he woke up, he took a few moments to seek out his Padawan's Force-presence, just to reassure himself.

Ahsoka was alive. There was no immediate danger surrounding her. For the moment, everything was okay.

He joined his Padawan in the dining hall halfway through breakfast. Ahsoka looked up from her datapad as he sat down beside her. “The Republic has finally taken Akaton,” she said in greeting.

“Good,” Anakin replied. “We needed a victory in that sector with the way things have been going out there.”

There was silence after that as they turned back to their breakfast, though Anakin studied Ahsoka out of the corner of his eye as he ate. She had recovered well from the Citadel the week before. The dark circles were gone from her eyes, she had gained back the weight she couldn't afford to lose. Watching her like this, with one hand propped under her chin as she scrolled through the holonet on her datapad, Anakin could almost believe that Mortis was a bad dream.

“Here,” he said, sliding his own datapad down the table. Ahsoka looked up from her breakfast.

“What's this?”

“The briefing for our next mission,” Anakin told her. “Since we had so much fun on Felucia last time, the Council has decided to send us back.”

Crash-landing on the planet and defending a town of farmers from pirates certainly hadn't been _boring_.

“ _Fun_ isn't exactly the word that comes to mind when I think of Felucia,” Ahsoka said dryly.

Anakin put down his cup of caf. “Well, here's our chance to change that.”

“When do we leave?” There was a spark of excitement in her eyes that he hadn't seen in a while.

“At 1200.”

It was 0700 now. She gave him a look “Thanks for the heads up.”

Anakin found himself grinning as he returned to his breakfast.

She had conquered everything thrown at her so far. He had to trust she would continue to do so.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So six out of seven of these last prompts have been over 2000 words. The next couple will be shorter haha.


	26. Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before the Jedi Temple existed, there was something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 26- Before
> 
> I feel like this is sufficiently creepy for halloween eve haha.

Before there was light, there was darkness.

Before there was peace, there was war.

Before there was good, there was evil.

Before there were cities, there were mountains and oceans.

Before the Jedi Temple existed, there was something else.

The sinister secret of the Jedi Order was that below their feet existed a wellspring of the dark side. A Sith shrine, left over from the Sith war, over five thousand years ago.

Not many knew the history. The ones that did thought it to be a legend. After all, a Sith shrine beneath the Jedi Temple? Impossible.

Even the most powerful Jedi Masters believed the shrine's power to be neutralized. They did not see it as a threat. No Master had felt the effects of the shrine in it's five thousand year history.

That was the trap of the dark side. One could not feel it until it was already too late.

The Jedi might have mostly forgotten about the shrine, but the Sith remembered. The secret was closely guarded, passed down from Master to apprentice, all the way from Darth Bane himself, and now Sidious, standing in the heart of the Republic, was in a position to use the shrine's power to his advantage.

How could the Jedi sense a Sith Lord living among them, when they had been raised over a wellspring of dark power? How could they truly uncover what he was planning when their senses were clouded by the dark side?

Most would have destroyed the shrine upon sight. The Jedi of the Old Republic were arrogant, arrogant enough to build their Temple directly over it, as a symbol of their victory over the Sith. They believed that their combined light energy was enough to defeat the shrine, but they could never truly understand the power of the dark side, and now they lived above a ticking time bomb.

Twilight was falling on the Republic. Sidious was ready to usher in a new era. He would end the Jedi, start an Empire under his complete control. That untapped power had seeped out of the shrine and into the very foundations of the Temple, weakening the Jedi. He would use that power as they never could, and rule the galaxy from his rightful place in that Temple.

The dark was patient. It was inviting. And it always won in the end.

The Jedi Order had been destroyed the moment they laid the first stone. The five thousand years that followed were just details.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have another one going up later. :)


	27. Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After returning from the Temple on Lothal, Ahsoka is noticeably subdued. Kanan wants to help. Takes place after Shroud of Darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 27- Moment

When they returned to the Ghost from Lothal, Ahsoka was quieter, more subdued than usual. Kanan had always found her presence soothing, but now there was turmoil within her that had not been there before the Lothal Temple. She was trying to hide it, and he doubted Ezra had noticed, but Kanan could tell something was bothering her.

Ezra had seen Yoda in the Temple. Kanan had seen the Inquisitor as he had been before the Empire- a Jedi Temple Guard. Ahsoka had not mentioned who- or what- had come to her.

Whatever it was, it was weighing on her.

Ahsoka proposed that the Ghost crew find a base before they travelled to Malachor. Kanan agreed immediately. That gave him more time to train Ezra before they had to face the inevitable.

“You're assuming the Inquisitors will leave us alone long enough for us to find a base,” Ezra muttered, from his place at the table.

“We have time,” Kanan said. He didn't know how, but he felt confident of that fact.

Ezra looked doubtful. “If you say so.”

“Kanan,” Ahsoka said, standing. “Before I go, may I see your holocron again?”

“Be my guest,” Kanan replied. “You know where to find it.”

Ahsoka nodded in thanks and left the lounge. Ezra watched her go, then glanced at Kanan.

“Is she okay?”

So Ezra had picked up on it too. Truthfully, Kanan wasn't sure. “It's been a long day,” was all he said.

Ezra frowned after her. “I wonder what she saw in the Temple.”

“If it was important, she would tell us,” Kanan said, though he wasn't even sure if that was true. Ahsoka guarded her secrets closely. He didn't think anyone knew her that well besides Rex. They had both lost everything in the Jedi Purge, but although Kanan had eventually found a new family, Ahsoka still seemed to be wandering.

Five minutes later, when he walked down the hall where the cabins were, he could hear a familiar recording coming from his room.

_“A two handed grip on your lightsaber will give you greater strength behind your swings. Make sure your stance is open and keep your balance low. A disadvantage of Form IV is that it's ineffective against multiple opponents, but keeping your saber moving is key to deflecting the fire of multiple adversaries...”_

Kanan hesitated for a second, then opened the door.

_“I've made some adjustments to the Form IV techniques that I think you'll find useful. Here, I'll show you.”_

Ahsoka often meditated to that recording when she was on the Ghost. Kanan suspected it brought her comfort to hear her former Master's voice. He could not blame her for it. If there were recordings of his own Master on that holocron, he would do the same.

But Ahsoka was not meditating now. She was staring at the hologram of Anakin Skywalker with an expression so completely devastated that Kanan came to a halt in the doorway.

She was far from the pillar of strength she usually appeared to be- shoulders slumped, head bowed. Though she looked older than he had ever seen her, in her eyes was a wistfulness that was almost childlike.

Maybe it was a trick of the ghostly blue light, but he thought he saw tear tracks on her face.

“You saw him.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, but he knew they were true. “In the Temple on Lothal.”

“Yes,” Ahsoka said softly. “I never knew what happened to him after the war.” A haunted look flickered across her face. “Now I do.”

“I'm sorry.” Kanan knew from experience that after a loss that deep, _sorry_ was an empty word. But there was really nothing else to say. “He seemed like a good man.”

If anything, that seemed to weigh her down further. “He was.” Her expression softened, just a bit, as she watched him go through his modified Form IV steps. “But more than that... he was a good friend.”

_“Practise these exercises mindfully and you'll see improvement. I promise.”_

The hologram flickered out, darkening the room. Ahsoka didn't move. She seemed lost in thought- or perhaps the past. There was a faraway look in her gaze, though the hints of unendurable sadness remained. Kanan wondered exactly what she had seen in the Temple that had shaken her so badly. He wouldn't ask. She didn't need to relieve it again.

Eventually, she blinked, coming back to herself. She breathed out evenly, then pieced the holocron back together.

“Thank you,” she said, looking up at him. “It's... good to know that something of him survived the war.”

“I understand,” said Kanan. Most of their friendship came down to that one fact. Due to their history, they understood each other on a level that not many could.

Ahsoka glanced down again, a shadow falling across her face. She wouldn't open up to him about this, and he understood that as well.

But he wondered if she knew that she didn't have to grieve alone.

This time, there was no hesitation as he came and knelt across from her, mirroring her posture. Ahsoka looked surprised, but the surprise melted into gratitude as she realized what he was doing. She gave him a small smile, then closed her eyes. Kanan did the same.

Together, they sat in the darkened cabin, holding a moment of silence for one more fallen Jedi.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, Rebels era canon doesn't stay in my head very well. I don't /think/ there's anything in here that contradicts what happens in the show, but even if there is, I like this idea too much to let go of it haha.
> 
> So. There's no way I'll have the remaining four fics uploaded before October is over in 22 hours, but I am going to complete the challenge, hopefully by Friday. Thanks for all your amazing comments. :)


	28. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chirrut is injured. Baze is upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 28- Death

“I do not fear death.”

“That,” Baze said, “is obvious.”

Chirrut was unfazed in the face of his anger. “The Force protects me.”

“This is your protection? A blaster wound to the arm?” Despite the heat of his words, his hands were gentle as he cleaned the wound near Chirrut's shoulder. “ _I_ protect you, and I can't be everywhere.”

“The Force will be where you are not,” Chirrut said. He didn't flinch as Baze began bandaging the wound, but his mouth was set in a thin line.

“The Force cannot be trusted with you,” Baze replied. The Force had not protected him from blindness. The Force had not protected him when the Empire took over. The Force had not protected him from being shot in the market today during a scuffle between the Imperials and a few innocent citizens.

“Have faith,” Chirrut said with a shadow of his old grin. “I'm still alive, am I not?”

“Yes. But only because I am there to watch your back.” Baze secured the bandages, then studied his partner. Other than the one blaster wound, Chirrut looked fine, though there was sorrow in the lines around his eyes.

He knew his disbelief saddened Chirrut. For the most part, they tried not to talk about that one fundamental difference. Once, the Force had bonded them. They had both been dedicated Guardians, devoting their lives to the teachings of the Force. Baze had believed wholeheartedly in the principles of the Guardians.

He'd been a younger man, then. A younger, more naive man.

Baze's lack of faith had been the subject of many arguments and debates in the years following the collapse of the Republic, but they had learned to coexist, to work around it. They lived in fragile peace- until Chirrut did something like this.

“I remember when death didn't frighten you this way,” Chirrut said after a moment.

“Death does not scare me.” Not his own, anyway.

Chirrut didn't dignify that with a reply. He tested the mobility of his arm, then nodded, satisfied. “Thank you.”

Baze sighed. His anger from earlier had drained away, leaving behind a weary resignation. “You're welcome. Try not to get shot again.”

“I will, or I won't. There is no _try_.”

Now Chirrut was trying to annoy him. It was his turn to be silent as he packed up their meager medical supplies, noting that they were almost out of curative skin sealant. There would be no more once it was gone- medical supplies were becoming increasingly hard to find as the Empire cracked down on Jedha City.

“One day,” Chirrut said as he put the medkit away, “you may have to trust the Force to do what you cannot.”

He knew this already. One day, Baze would be too far away. One day, he would not get to Chirrut in time. Eventually, Chirrut's luck would run out and he lived in dread of that day.

That day was not today, though. And if Baze had anything to do with it, that day would not come for a very long time.

“For now,” he said to Chirrut, “I trust you to stay out of trouble- at least until you've recovered.”

“Well,” Chirrut said, “if you insist.”

Fragile peace fell once again over their small home. It would not last, Baze knew, but he would take what he could get.

And, frustrating and reckless or not, Chirrut was alive. No matter how angry Baze had been, that was what really mattered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally gonna write a real character death for this prompt but then realized that I basically have no favourite characters who don't already have a canonical death lol

**Author's Note:**

> So... I'm marking this as complete. 28/30 prompts isn't that bad! (Plus, I actually did complete number 29 (Promise), but I posted it separately under the title 'on the front lines and everyone's watching' bc it was like. 10k haha. Maybe one day I'll come back and finish the last prompt but for now, I'm going to leave this how it is. Thanks for reading!


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